How to control my announcement

[MyJoyousBird]

I really don't want to announce my pregnancy. I don't know why I just don't want to. It feels personal!
I work for a really small business in an industry where everyone knows each other and my boss let me know they will need to put out an advert for my job on mat leave and it will be very very obvious that it is me. All my friends follow the company I work for and my boss on social media so will see the advert. There is then everyone I know in my industry that will then know about this and I really don't want that but feel I kind of have no choice.
I really really don't want to do a facebook announcement (my husband would like to though)
Has anyone done an announcement because it was going to become public knowledge and it was actually a better thing to do?
I don't know why I feel so anxious about it! The thought of people messaging me when they see the job advert is making me feel sick. Not sure why!

I didn’t announce, just told people I was close to then as I got bigger people noticed and say congratulations. Just remember this is major for you, because it’s your life but it’s not as significant for other people.

Send a wahtsapp message?

Why do you need to “announce”? You aren’t a train conductor! Just tell people as you see them.

You don't need to tell your employer until about 5 or 6 mths I can't remember what the rules are.
Although if you're in a occupation where being pregnant isn't good (I'm thinking certain lab work, police work etc) they cant put in any H&S guidance if you don't tell them.
Surely your friends and family would know before you tell your employer ?

I didn’t announce any of my pregnancies. People just found out as and when. Some people didn’t know until I posted baby photos.

as for work you don’t need to tell until you are 25 weeks pregnant

it’s your body and life - do whatever the hell you want.

I’m a bit confused about what you want to control and why? Just tell who you want, when you want and let others share the good news.

Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I don’t want to announce AT ALL. The thought of sending a what’s app or text to someone makes me feel sick.

My issue is my job is going to put up an advert for maternity cover and everyone I know will see and it’s obviously me as I am the only female in my company. So all my friends and wider work friends are gonna find out by a job advert.
I would rather tell no one not even my family but now I kind of have no choice in it.
Is it better putting on social media and getting it over and done with or deal with everyone messaging me when they see my job advertised. I have asked if there is a way to not say maternity cover and they have said no

I didn't announce either. Definitely told close family and friends, and as I got bigger it just came up in conversation with colleagues etc. I felt weirdly superstitious about it, like as if announcing it would make something go wrong. I know that's not logical but it's how I felt. I would say just leave the announcement and if people put two and two together then so be it. They might contact you to congratulate but they actually probably won't. In my experience if someone hasn't been directly told of a pregnancy from the woman then they're more likely not to mention it. I wouldn't let it force you into a formal announcement just go with your gut and if people ask I guess you just confirm to them as it arises😊

So you’ve told work? In which case you’ve probably told your family and friends. Everyone else will just realise and move on.

I'd probably do one announcement on social media and then turn my notifications for whichever one it is off if you can't deal with getting loads of messages about it. Seems kind of shit of your employer that they can't just advertise the job as a temporary contract rather than maternity cover though.

I honestly don’t think you have to “announce” anything. Just tell your boss when you feel comfortable doing so. Everyone else will figure it out eventually.

Why don’t you want to tell anyone? Are you worried about the pregnancy? Unhappy about it? You mention working at a largely male company, are you worried about discrimination? why don’t you want your family to know?

Is it anxiety about people’s reactions?

You don’t need to announce! Tell your close family, tell your boss when ready and everyone else will just work it out. That’s what I did. Not sure your boss should advertise until you are later on in pg anyway.

I am not quite sure why you do not want tell family but that would be the first thing i would do. With work, yes people will work it if they put an advert for your role out but it is not really an announcement. Most people will just think that's nice and move on.

The only person you have to tell is your employer, look up the minimum time you have to give and then inform HR in writing. As you get bigger people will ask but just confirm it and ask them about something else. You don't need to announce anything.

My work and my best friend know no one else does bar my husband. I told work because of something that was coming up that wouldn’t have been suitable for me to take part in.

I have had a lot of issues and we tried for a long time for this baby so it’s very much wanted. It’s just I am a really private person and the thought of people asking me questions gets me so anxious and overwhelmed. I thought I would kind of get away with not telling anyone and it’s just come to the realisation it won’t be the case.

Maybe getting my husband to do a one off post and shutting the comments off is the way to go.

I understand this but pregnancy is one of those things that you just can’t hide for very long.

Absolutely this. Don't make a big deal about it just tell a few people and then it will become common knowledge.

You don’t need to announce, let your work put up the job advert and people will find out when they find out.
I announced my first child but my second I decided to only tell my work and close family and friends. Obviously people found out the bigger I became and congratulated me then but no one really bats an eyelid other than to congratulate you.

You don't have to announce anything if you don't want but you probably do need to address why you feel this way. It seems a bit odd that it provokes such a reaction in you.

With absolute kindness OP, nobody else will really care bar your close family and friends, who I assume already know.

just enjoy your pregnancy

I didn't tell/announce to anyone until I was about 5/6 months gone. I then told my boss because it was mandatory for risk assessments, leave, etc and a small amount of family. Towards the end, I put a little announcement on my private SM because I took some nice pregnancy photos that I wanted to document and was in the process of switching phones, so worried I'd lose them. Otherwise, many people I assume speculated but didn't actually say anything until DD was born.

You don't need to tell anyone you don't want to, atleast until your ready to do so.

Hi OP. I'm not sure how far on you are with your pregnancy but could your work delay the announcement for a little while until you know things are progressing well? After that, given you can't prevent them advertising, I'd probably make sure I told those that I'm closest to so they hear the news from me then just let news travel without the need for an announcement. You might be surprised at how few join the dots when they see the announcement then, even if they do and ask questions, you could just be quite relaxed about it all "oh yes, that's my role, we didn't really tell anyone, felt a bit strange announcing etc".

Not quite the same scenario but I told my boss I was expecting who told the people he needed to, but I didn't tell any other colleagues then, one by one over time, they've either heard through the grapevine or have spotted my growing bump. It's prompted a short conversation each time "congratulations, I didn't know" then I've just said something similar to the above, that we're delighted etc then it's all moved on. I'm 27 weeks and I've not even told fairly close friends because I've not seen them in a while and it all just feels a bit awkward to "announce". I'll probably just meet them at one point when about to pop or when I've got a baby in my arms. Just do whatever you're comfortable with. If you don't want to announce, don't and just let everything evolve naturally.

Can't your work just advertise for 'temporary cover' rather than maternity leave cover? This would make it less obvious it's for you

Congratulations on your pregnancy first of all - I hope you’re keeping well.
Don’t feel the need to have a big announcement if you don’t want to. I’m 25 weeks pregnant with DC3, I told very few and people started to clock on and congratulate as it became noticeable. It’s life changing and overwhelming having a baby - do what feels best for you. ☺️