Abnormal 12-week scan

[ThatDaringOchreBird]

I just wanted to share and hopefully find some support. We had our 12-week scan, and unfortunately, it showed some abnormalities. It’s likely that we’ll have to say goodbye to this pregnancy. This was already an IVF journey, and we’ve had a miscarriage before, so this feels especially heartbreaking.
We’re devastated, and I’m really struggling to find the strength to keep going. I’m almost 38 and feeling incredibly hopeless right now—afraid of trying again and facing more loss.
If anyone has been through something similar, I’d be so grateful to hear how you got through it. Thank you for reading.

Hi I’m so sorry to read this. I haven’t been through this but I did struggle to get pregnant with my only child and just wanted to reach out and say I’m sorry for you.

Sorry to hear this, OP

Thank you so much for your support both—it truly means a lot. These kinds of things are really hard to talk about, especially in such detail, even with close friends.

Hi OP. I haven't been through quite what you describe but I just want to offer my support. I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's very hard x

I'm sorry you are going through this OP. Yes, I have been in a similar situation.

At 38, I'd already TTC 4yrs and it was my first pregnancy. Due to my age, I paid for the NIPT which showed Patau syndrome, T13. They did a more detailed scan which also showed multiple issues. The NT was 6.5mm, brain and stomach issues and a cleft face, not just lip.

I chose TFMR due to it being a life limiting genetic issue- IF I even made it to term and didn't MC beforehand.

What abnormalities were seen OP (only if you want to share this info)? Did they say what they thought might be going on? Have they offered NIPT/Amnio or CVS? ARC can be a useful service.

I'm happy to answer any questions you have, but if you prefer, feel free to private message me.

Just know that you this isn't you fault, and you aren't alone ❤️

I'm really sorry 💕 I'm the same age, have had losses and unsuccessful IVF and I know how crushing each loss is.

What I can say is that there is absolutely still hope. It's very common to have successful pregnancies well into late thirties to mid forties. The fact you got pregnant means there is every prospect you can do so again.

I know that at this moment all you can feel is the devastation, which is totally understandable, but just know it doesn't have to be this way forever. Don't lose hope 💕

I'm so sorry ❤️

Did they explain what abnormalities were observed? Did they offer any follow up tests? Were you given an opportunity to ask questions?

At our 12 week scan (IVF pregnancy), the NT measurement was high and we were told to expect to need to terminate and were devastated. We had a CVS a few weeks later which was negative and ended up with a perfectly healthy baby.

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but there may still be hope.

Thank you so much for all your support.
@DarkclothesWe literally just found out today, and we’ll be going through more tests—unfortunately, some of them will need to be invasive—to try and understand what went wrong. Our previous NIPT results were normal, so this has completely blindsided us. I’ll definitely keep you updated as we get more information. Right now, I’m just overwhelmed and can’t stop crying, wondering if I somehow did something wrong.

@ApparentlySomeDoOne side of the heart hasn’t fully developed. We’re trying to stay prepared for the worst, but hearing your story truly brings some comfort—thank you.

I had an abnormality at 18 weeks (no early scans then) and had several follow ups deciding to continue. There was no abnormalities!

Was renal not heart though

OH @ThatDaringOchreBird I am so sorry to read this.

I don't have any personal experience but I am a midwife and I have cared for many women is similar, terrible situations. It seems so very unfair.

Please reach out to ARC and your midwife for a referral to a bereavement midwife so you can be fully prepared and supported. I cannot speak for your trust but in mine you can remain under the bereavements midwife for as long as you need and into and through your next pregnancy.

We also offer memory making, even for the smallest of babies, if this is something families want.

Just know this is nothing you have done and there would have been nothing that would change this sad situation.

One side of the heart hasn’t fully developed

I'm so sorry. I know you only found out today, but did they mention it might be hypoplastic left heart syndrome?

There is a wonderful charity called Tiny Tickers who support families through the congenital heart defect journey. Please consider reaching out to them as there is lots of information and available whatever the outcome of the testing.

I had my 12 week scan last Thursday was told the baby had an enlarged bladder megacystis was told not to Google it and wait for the fetal medicine unit to call me . Obviously I Google the condition so I was fully prepared and tbf a lot of the information online was very bleak with a nigh mortality rate been absolutely devastated all week . Went today for a specialist scan and it was totally normal no enlarged bladder all measurements of baby classed as normal no issues at all .

hopefully when you go for more invasive testing you will get better news / positive action plan . Sending you all the well wishes in the world I know how daunting it can be to feel so heartbroken and know u can’t do anything about it but hope it will be ok x

I am so sorry, first round of ivf resulted in a pregnancy, all good at first scan heart beat etc, second scan showed baby had stopped growing at 12/13 weeks. Second ivf - pregnancy but this time not surviving to the first scan. Third ivf no pregnancy. Fourth ivf no pregnancy. Fifth ivf - pregnancy which suggested issues and problems, all ready to be admitted to hospital but scanned showed baby in right place, weekly monitoring and rest but safety delivered. Sixth ivf - frozen cycle success and healthy baby. Don’t give up hope it’s so tough I know, thinking of you.

I am so sorry for you. We went through similar. First IVF pregnancy ended in TFMR due to a severe heart defect. It won’t have been anything you have done. I hope your next tests have a better outcome than ours. What helped us get through it was knowing we were doing what we thought best out of love for our baby.

Hi OP, am hoping very much for the best for you. I have been through the tfmr process and it was the hardest thing in my life so far. However, I did get through it. I have also had another baby since, though I was fortunate not to need ivf.

I would second giving ARC a call. I don’t think they’re open weekends but you can call them tomorrow. They are absolutely lovely and very supportive.

If you do find yourself looking at the tfmr route (and I have everything crossed that you will not have to - hopefully a more detailed scan will be more positive. It’s also great that you had a clear nipt), then I would recommend listening to some podcasts to prepare /understand options etc. Time to Talk Tfmr and Tfmrmamas are all good. The worst girl gang ever also has some relevant episodes - you may already be familiar with them following your miscarriage. I was given a great big booklet to read by the hospital beforehand, but couldn’t even bring myself to open it. Somehow listening to podcasts at 3am was easier.

I can share more if helpful, but will hope for positive news for you first of all.

Very sorry OP 😞 💐
Take care of yourself x

So sorry xx

@ThatDaringOchreBird ThatDaringOchreBird, I havent had your situation to deal with but I have have had an MMC and a couple of chemical pregnancies. I just wanted to offer a virtual hand hold and say that I am positive it absolutely ain't be anything you have done. God and nature work in the weirdest ways that I will never understand and you are going through one of lifes truly creepy times. Thinking of you,

Take care of yourself during this period of uncertainty. Constantly waiting for the next result is so exhausting.

I truly hope you get the positive outcome you're hoping for 🩷

Oh OP I’m so sorry. I’ve been in a very similar position to you, I had my daughter at 38 via IVF, and my son at 40. It was a long and tiresome journey. There’s hope - there always is hope. Sending you strength and patience and love 💕 🌸

thinking of you 🥰

So sorry to hear about your situations.
At my twelve week scan I was told that the nt was high (don't remember numbers) and baby had a cystic hygroma.
Was also told that there wasn't a functioning left side and baby likely had trisomy 13 or 18.

Opted for the CVS and found no chromosomal abnormalities and after many follow up scans with the fetal cardiologist she was diagnosed with a serious but repairable heart defect.
She had surgery at 6 months and is now an absolutely amazing 2 year old.

So in conclusion, don't give up yet. It may not be the end.

Good luck