Anyone else feel a bit rubbish at pregnancy?

[addictedtoharibo]

So Im 24 weeks now and so I get told on what seems like an hourly basis by friends and random strangers I should be blooming. When I say I feel terrible they warn me how much worse its going to get (thanks) or how dreadful it will be when the baby is here. When I say Im thinking of going on mat leave at 32 weeks I get somewhere between raised eyebrows and an alright for some look or a horrified "I worked until the baby crowned" look.

In reality I feel terrible. Im still being sick but "only" a couple of times a day. Still feel nauseaus all day but "only" like a bad hangover not like Im dying anymore. Cant eat a lot and only specific things - still weigh less than when I started. Tiredness has hit and I am exhausted beyond belief but as soon as I lie down my eyes ping open and I cant sleep. Feel tearful all the time and like I cant cope with things and just want to lie on the sofa and be pathetic. And to top it off I have a stupid cold (wow I really sound pathetic lol sorry!)

Am I completly wrong in thinking I should try and take it easy and cut back? I have a stressful job, am doing a phd and have a complete whirlwind of a toddler meaning Im leaving the house at 7 am and often still working at 10pm at home. DH always seems to be working or studying himself - out at least 4 nights a week and most of the weekend and we have no family support. Every time I mention to DH, friends or my mum that I want to cut back and spend some time at home on my own and I really need some support I get the looks described above. They think I should be working far later and cant understand why I feel so bad now.

Am I just being pathetic? Should I just pull myself together? Im really not looking for sympathy (although would be nice lol) just someone to understand how crap I feel and not to dismiss it. Or for some practical ideas of what I can do to get over this. I know a lot of people think that pregnant women should just get on with it and stop moaning but I really feel like Im about to collapse - although dont really have the time for that one lol.

Anyone else feeling as pathetic or is everyone superwoman? Am I really being that useless??

I am / have been feeling exactly the same as you and I'm 32 weeks PG!!! I would LOVE to go on maternity leave now. One thing I will say is that I was so desperate that I went to a homeopathy drop in clinic and I was given a remedy to take for a week that did actually work. I felt fabulous for ages (weeks). I am feeling like poo again and have just gone for another sesh and have been given a different remedy to try, so we shall see. I'm feeling very hopeful!

Thankyou - homeopathy is fab isnt it. I have been seeing a homeopath (?) - sounds like psychopath lol - since 6 weeks and I think its the only thing that has kept me out of hospital. It stopped me being sick half hourly anyway (just hourly instead lol). I also see her for reflexology and whether that actually works or it just relaxes me I dont know but its fantastic. Last thing on my list is accupuncture but am having problems finding one - and am getting rather poor!

Starlight - "NHS mis-management-depression" - what a fantastic phrase. In hindsight I think I had AND last time. I had an awful midwife until 28 weeks who told me that being sick 10 times a day at 25 weeks was normal and I should consider myself lucky that I wasnt like a mum she had looked after years ago who couldnt swallow her own saliva. She then told me I hadnt lost any weight (was still a stone less at this point) and that I just had to learn to get on with things. All you want - and especially in your first pregnancy - is someone to hold your hand through it and comfort you and she made me despise her.

This time I am managing a lot better - in terms of realising it will stop, there will be a baby at the end of it etc etc so am doing better. But I also feel like you in that I just cant be bothered with health professionals. I know my lovely doctor is there if I need her and am always doing my best to get out of and delay midwife appointments as I dont see the point - can check my blood pressure at home fine.

I am absolutely dreading this turning into pnd again though - last time after the birth I just collapsed emotionally and was quite traumatised by the whole thing. I felt cheated of this wonderful pregnancy experience that everyone seemed to have and any programmes with a pregnant mum enjoying herself made me cry. Im doing my best to stay more in control this time but that feeling of being a "wimp" or a failure just wont go away which is stupid i know.

Our circumstances sadly sound so similar.

OMG - reading this comes at the perfect time for me. I've been feeling miserable and so uncomfortable in my body, it feels so alien and I'm really struggling to get used to it. I am 5 months and amazed/horrified at what is happening to me. It is incredibly comforting to know that there are others out there who just don't suit or like pregnancy.

Plus, I totally empathize with writing a PhD (I finished mine in December) or any academic study - such a challenge and arguably messes with your emotions AS MUCH (particularly on some days) as being pregnant (well it seems to have done for me).

So yes, TRUST yourself - physically and academically. Thanks for posting this!

I feel so much better for reading this and realising that I am not a total wimp, and that it is normal to feel so bad. What really gets me is that no one understands how bad I feel, so I don't get any sympathy. My dh keeps worrying about how we will cope with a toddler and a baby, and when I say it will be a peice of cake compared to being pregnant he thinks I am mad or just making it up. I think I would feel so much better if he could just understand what it is like. I too get frustrated by the fact that if a non pregnant person was that ill for so long people would expect them to stay in bed until they felt better, but if you are pregnant you just have to get on with it.
OP - remember it is your MILs job to make you feel inadequate. Don't ask me why but they just seem to feel the need to do it. I have had no sympathy for how I feel, but when my dh told her on the phone he had a headache she rang back the next day to see if he felt any better. When I BF my first it made me feel absolutely exhausted, but she kept telling me how she was doing the gardening and other jobs taking a break to BF now and again and had no problems!
Ahh - feel a bit better for that

addictedtoharibo I have felt exactly the same, I'm not sure when it started but for sure the last three months have been truly awful. (Now week 24 of pg).
It's only last week that I started feeling better, when I started putting less pressure on myself to be everywhere and do everything. I just can't do as much and I have accepted that now.

I did wonder if I was depressed. I couldn't focus on work and was not efficient at all.

Work was stressfull, some important people let me down badly making me take on more work, family situation was bad and the 20w scan was a disaster.

Luckily dh's has been really helpful and understanding.
I've voiced how I felt and determined what I wanted and didn't want clearly.

I really hope that this was the worst. I wouldn't say I am blooming but I am definitely more able to cope now and I feel normal again.

I hope it passes for you too.
It is a good idea to talk to your midwife about how you feel, I ended up in tears at one of our meetings and mine was really helpful.

I am totally totally rubbish at being pregnant! I don't have any really awful symptons - very short bout a nausea this time - and I don't even know what SPD is, so I clearly never had that! I just feel really tired and don't like it one bit. I have so little energy I feel I really lose a huge part of who I am. I'm normally cheerful and contented, but when I feel utterly drained and exhausted after a day that I know wasn't really too demanding workwise, I just turn into a miserable grump. I hate it!!

I was very sore after a quick and rather early birth last time and the baby was neither easy or hard - just a typical newborn, feeding lots and sleeping lots. For days I just kept say - wow - this is soooo much better than being pregnant. I feel myself again! It was brilliant. May the same happen this time - only 28 weeks to go .... sigh .........

If you feel like you want to take early maternity leave then do it! Sod everyone else. I felt really emotionally ill with my first pregnancy- if that makes sense- physically I was fine but I took maternity leave as early as possible, I couldn't stand the stress of work any longer. It was heaven!

I'm completely shite at this pregnancy stuff. Been off work since 9 weeks (before that was on annual leave for wedding/honeymoon). Am 15 weeks now and feel like it will never get better. Have antenatal depression, constant nausea, and vomiting episodes that exhaust me. The GP is sick of seeing me because I just cry. Had to go back on antidepressants which aren't even working anyway.

I hate everyone who tells me 'it's supposed to be better now'. It isn't.

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hunny you are def not on your own, i am on my third pregnancy and cant understand why i would put myself through this all over again, pregnancy is horrable feeling sick, tired, looking awful not everyone is superwoman we get told pregnancy isnt an illness but some of us are unlucky enough to prove everyone wrong,
i hope you get through in one piece x

Thank You for saving my sanity!
I've had such a bad week :-(
On Tues went to the doctor and was told my blood pressure was very high (90/60 to 170/100 in a few days). I think it was more elevated because I ran there because I was late more than anything serious, had to go back each day for more checks. First day in waiting room caught a heavy cold, which was bad enough but THEN also got the vomiting virus from school. Six day headache (ongoing), temperature and aches and pains which nothing would touch and all capped off with being sick a lot on an acid-sore oesophagus until there was blood too. My blood pressure was 135/85 last time (and I'm still ill so quite ok) . Gave in after 3 nights of no sleep to having a proper cry on the bathroom floor after I didn't reach the toilet in time. Really had had enough.Rung husband and begged him to come home at 5pm because it was horrible being on my own like that. He was really good.
never appreciated what it's like to go through that with not being able to take anything but paracetamol.
Now it's my third day off work (thurs/fri/mon) and I know I have to go in tommorrow and I feel like a big inconvienence but I feel like crying in a corner a the thought of trying to control 30 kids all day, inc. break duty and followed up up Parents eve.
The other day certain people at work were sitting there telling me stories of how easy it was for them, how their mate did aerobic until it crowned etc. AND I'm much younger than they all were. Yeah great thanks. I feel like I'm booking my matrnity leave stupidly late because of it.

At leat my dh has realised just how bad it is. He was of the 'carry on your now ill' school but he looks and sounds quite concerned now.

Apologies for not reading the whole thread but this is a subject close to my heart as I'm truly dreadful at being pregnant. Feel like crap from start to finish. In fact my first pregnancy symptom is that I feel totally exhausted. I always say I'm crap at being pregnant which I now mean as a joke because I'm not pregnant anymore (8 week old ds) but while I'm pregnant it really gets me down that I never do anything that remotely resembles blooming. It doesn't help that I seem to always have friends who love being pregnant & who do bloom whilst I'm staggering about feeling like death warmed up.

15 weeks and supposed to be blooming. Apparently. Am coming through the nausea bit but the exhaustion is worse, seeing as I can't sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. It is so good to know that I am not just a miserable cow, but I hate it when people ask how I'm getting on. I also have that weird thing, feel like it's a bit of an alien but felt too ashamed to admit it. I really hope it changes when it's born!!

Thank goodness for this thread.it makes me feel a bit better and a bit more normal to know I'm not alone with feeling like crap and hating this pregnancy lark with a passion. I have spent all night and all morning in tears through utter exhaustion from no sleep for the last couple of weeks due to small child using bladder as trampoline causing me to get up at least 10 times a night to pee. Couple that with acid that's made me chain drink gaviscon from the bottle and I feel thouroughly miserable and a total failure for not being able to cope. I'm 31 weeks now and was planning on working till 38. I was so smug and figured it would all be a breeze. But I'm going to have to change it to 36 weeks and, even then, I don't know if I'll cope till then.

For all those that have put themselves through this more than once, how on earth were you able to take the plunge and sign up for 9 months of hideousness all over again?! I'm assuming your body releases amnesia hormones or something and makes you forget the crapness?! I'm hoping by the time we want a second that you can buy them on eBay instead!

Totally sympathize addictedtoharibo. I had to give up work at 20 weeks, I've had bleeds on an off from 6 weeks had sickness morning noon and night until I was 18 weeks and did quite a physical job, which I felt was putting me at more risk. I have other health conditions too, Yet nobody appart from my consultant and my partner seemed very sympathtic to me holding up my hand and saying, you know what I surrender I can't do this and work fulltime as well.
I was signed off so many times in the end I had very little choice. I'm now skint, but if anything goes wrong in the preganancy I know I've done everything in my power to make a success of it.
Everyone experiences preganancy differently, that I've come to understand so yeah sure there are women who will be practically running marathons or working up until their waters have broken and still taking work calls inbettween contractions. Then there are some of us who spend most of our time on prescribed bedrest or suffering with one symptom after another. None of it matters cause all our goals are the same to have a successful pregnancy and healthy babies.

Yep - this my 3rd child and I can honestly say I DO NOT like being pg. Everyone says the first 6 weeks are hard once baby is born but for me I find pregnancy really awful and feel physically so much better once the baby comes out! I am finding this time round so much harder, I'm so sick of feeling nauseous, the SPD, needing a wee 24/7, having indigestion, not being able to eat curry/chilli etc without repercussions etc!!! After 2 m/c I am v grateful to be having another much wanted child but am looking forward to her actually arriving!!! Ah well only 12 weeks to go!!!