Giving my son a 'girl' name

[Bowa]

I am due soon to give birth soon to my first child who will be a boy. I struggled to think of any boy names that felt right. I had a long list for girl names, but I couldn't think any for if I had a son.

I found out I was having a boy at my 16 weeks scan and I still couldn't find a name that felt right at the time. Kinda like a missing puzzle piece if that makes sense.

A few weeks later, I was thinking about a movie I loved since childhood and one of the main characters (the character is male) and something clicked and I knew that was the name I wanted for my son. It felt perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I became excited and looked into how I could make things with his name for the nursery, nicknames and that.

I haven't told anyone what name I picked out for him as I wanted to get everything ready beforehand. I have also had some 'complications', so it felt like bad luck if I told people his name before he was born. When I'm by myself, I talk to my son and I will use his name then.

I was looking at something and saw the name I picked for my son. It had a few different spellings, but what stuck out was that apparently it's used more as a girl name. It didn't say anything about it being a unisex name. I assumed because the character who had the name was male (and refers to himself as a male) that it was wasn't a girl's name or maybe it could be a unisex name. Even the way it is pronounced sounds more masculine than feminine.

I feel conflicted. I can't think of any other name that feels right for him (he has middle names that are boy names), but I don't want him to be picked on if people knew it was used more for a girl. I have an unusual first name, so I have experiences with people not spelling it correctly or pronouncing it right.

His name isn't common for this area either, so I don't think anyone would assume it is used more as a girl name and the way it is pronounced is easy.

I know people have named their daughter with names that are more boy/unisex sounding like: Blake, Parker, Dylan, Toni etc.

His name isn't like: Daisy, Penelope, Sophia, Jane etc.

Would it be OK to stick with the name even if it's used more for a girl?

Florence, really? 🤔

Without knowing the name this is hard to comment on!
I loved Jesse for a boy but worried about the connotations of ‘you big Jesse’ which isn’t said now but my Nan commented about it!! I now wish I had gone with it as I love it and it would have suited him!

I think it's a matter of choice & as long as its not too obviously a girls name like Rose or Catherine then why not have a unisex name if acceptable. I will mention there was a person I was corresponding with at work by email before arranging a meeting. The name was Lyndsay. I genuinely thought I would be meeting with a women. I arrived at the meeting to find Lyndsay was a man. He wondered why I looked confused😆

IridiumSky
Or do what my wife and I did when the first son was born. Consult an alphabetical list of boys’ names. It went like this:
’Aaron’? Naa, too American.

Aaron, American? It’s a biblical name. Aaron was the brother of Moses.

Jesse is also a biblical name. Jesse was the father of (King) David, one of the major Bible personalities.

In Cork and Kerry mostly, yes. An Anglicisation of an Irish name - there were 914 of them in the 1911 census. Think Florrie Knox in the Irish RM stories.

Is it Mary? (Used as a middle name for Catholics ‘back in the day’) And I was at university with a west Cork man called Florrie

Christ - life is hard enough without blighting a child with a duff name.

I've just checked - even Jude Law grew up with the first name David.

Or Maria - I've seen that several times. Once- an aristocratic UK family and others Dutch and Austrian family.

I know a male with a typically female name, people always assume he is female if they just hear the name so he gets addressed and ‘miss’ or ‘her’ etc a lot which I think he finds mildly annoying

He has mentioned to me not likening his name in the past, partly because of the fact it’s a girl name and I think he did get a few comments while he was at school (but he’s tough and can stand up for himself so it never turned into a big issue)

But he doesn’t hate it so much he uses a nickname or anything

Anyone mentioned Ashley, as in Gone with the Wind. It's a boy name mostly used for girls now days.

12 pages in and OP has not been back - she clearly wants to keep this name top secret 😂😂

I know boys with names

Bobby
Jesse
Rowan

Have also seen these used for a girl. If it is any of the above then it's fine. If it's Arrabella then don't do it!

Tell us the name. There are many names such as Kim which were traditionally boys names but have been adopted as girls names (but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still a boys name as well)

Is it Casey. If so it’s a unisex name and it’s fine.

Bob?

I met a Darcy at the weekend who was a boy… this confused me!

Of course in Ireland we get loads of males called Patsy and Connie and Florence (those mostly in Cork)

Not so much now. The Patsy I know is in his eighties. The Flors I know in their mid fifties (at least). They’re not names/name shortenings that are given to young children anymore imho.

You dont want to call him a girls name you want to call him a unisex name dont you? That's fine!

On another note, Id like to share my son's best friend is called Rachel, and he's a boy (he goes more by Ray though but it is short for Rachel. Even though people usually think of Rachels as girls (because of Rachel Green off Friends and Ms Rachel), to me I've always seen it as a more boys name, it sounds very strong and masculine like Daniel or Michael. I prefer Rachelle for a girl.

Pointless thread if you aren't going to say the name.

I think it’s probably robin but she wants to spell it Robyn.

There’s virtually no such thing as a unisex name. There are boy’s names that girls are allowed to have-which then very quickly become girl’s names….

Hilary
Vivian
Evelyn
Hyacinth

All were male names.

My grandad was a Jean. His mother apparently didn’t like Gene. He was very happy as Jean and got annoyed when people misspelled it and would correct them. Though we definitely had people ring the house or send letters for Mrs Jean Jones. So it must have been a lifelong issue if people still hadn’t gotten it right in his 70s/80s. I don’t know if he got made fun of in school or not, but he had no hang ups about his name.

I think it very much depends on the name and the culture. I know two Rory’s who are women in America, for example, but to me, that’s a boy name. Seems totally normal there though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hyacinthus was the male version.

Rowan seems popular for both.

I think so long as there are male role models with the name eg Rowan Atkinson and it's rare enough that it is unlikely to be a name shared with a girl in the same class then you should be Ok