Too old to by mother?

[KateKin123]

Ladies, I'd just like some support. I'm 42, my husband is 56 and we have a 4-month-old daughter. We've been trying for 8 years and we've given up hope. It's been a hard road. Now she is here and we love her endlessly. But my neighborhood reacts badly. My friend told me that I am too old and that I have ruined my daughter's life. And she's far from alone. I don't know how to deal with this. It hurts my heart so much. I know I don't have to let it get to me, but somehow I can't. Do you have any tips for dealing with someone else's stupidity? And should I worry about my daughter suffering because we are old? Thank you so much.

I had dd4 at 42 and am now mid 50s
Surround yourself with people who love and support you and rise above and don’t give any headspace to the others - life is too short
This will be amazing !
I must say though I’m bloody knackered most of the time !!!

I have to admit 56 is quite old to become a parent. Going to be in their 70s with a teenager. I would think a teenager would be very conscious of this (might not say anything but would think it)

Hi OP, Congratulations on having your longed for baby girl. Had my twins at 43, not due to any fertility issues, just met the right person quite late at age 40. Yes we’re “ older” parents but nobody in our families or any friends had anything but positive reactions at the time. Your friends comments are cruel and unnecessary. One thing about being an older parent I have noticed is you do take extra care to be as healthy as possible to be around for your kids as long as possible, which is a generally good thing anyway. Another possible bonus is early retirement if you have the option. For example I am now semi retired ( tho feel ridiculously young to even be saying that) with some pension at age 60 so have more time to be with my teens while they are in 6th form, while maintaining the same income. It’s been a great joy for us having kids and one thing that has always stuck in my head that I read ( somewhere, ages ago) is that older parents are always “grateful” and I remember that often because it’s so true! Best wishes for a joyful future to you and your family.

Congratulations op. Your friend is being very cruel. I wouldn’t want to maintain a friendship like that. Enjoy your lovely daughter. It’s not like you can do anything about your ages anyway! I’ve had my second at 40 and no one has batted an eyelid. Even if they did it anyone of their business. I might even try for a third one day.

I do not understand the conundrum here. In days gone by, where there was no reliable contraception, it was not uncommon for women to still be having babies at this age. The world didn’t fall apart, sky didn’t fall in, so what has now changed in this regard that such a question is being asked?

Totally agree and it always seems to be women that are criticised for being older parents not men. There is a thread going here at the moment by a woman in her late 30s with a partner in his 50s tryIng to decide if she wants to have a baby and everyone is saying “go for it”