Feeling stressed out 13 days overdue (sob), don't want induction and don't want to lose my baby either

[pussface]

I will be 42 weeks into my 1st pregnancy tomorrow and although I have been so lucky having zero problems throughout the wait is now starting to stress me out and turn me into a nervous wreck .

I have had no braxton hicks, no shows and an examination on Tuesday that gave me a bishops score of 3.

I am losing all hope of having my baby naturally and can't bear the thought of being induced. Is there anyone out there in my position who can relate to this as all the threads I've been reading have everyone willing to be induced to have their babies? Am I just being a coward?

I feel like a lamb being lead to the slaughter of Prostin/ARM/Syntocinon drip. Although the MW I've seen have been lovely and are not pressurising me in the slightest, I can't decide what to do when the call comes for me to go to hospital.

Any advise from someone who's been there would be much appreciated.

Why are you worried about induction? You might start going with just the gel (I did). THen you get to be there from the word go (which was such a blessing for me).

I haven't been there but have you tried the natural alternatives? I am sure lulu will be there in a flash to recommend sex and nipple stimulation but what about reflexology, acupuncture. Also try a hot bath and visualise your cervix opening (that is what my hypnobirthing practitioner recommended). You need to relax (easier said than done I know) as stress may prevent anything from happening. Is there anything/fear that might hold you back?

I suppose you can also try clary sage in bath, eat spicy food and pinapple.

Alternatively you can put clary sage in the bath whilst DH/DP is stimulating your nipples and eat pinapple (still in the bath) whilst visualising your cervix opening

As long as your baby is still active and happy, I wouldn't worry too much.

Had DS at 41+5. Model pregnancy but then nothing happened! When I went for my 41 week check up I had elevated BP and they kept me in. Turned out DS could not have been delivered naturally (umbilical cord not attached in normal place and wrapped around his neck). After being induced 3 times and 21 hours of labour I eventually had em C-section and DS absolutely fine.

Although this was absolute opposite of my birth plan, it was the right course of action.

Try not to rule out any options. Your ideal may be natural birth, but the key is that you are both healthly and nothing else really matters.

You will probably go into spontaneous labour and all will be fine but try to keep an open mind about things!

I know you're not thinking of a home birth, but there's quite a lot of information on the homebirth website, including the birth stories of ladies that went post dates (some to 43+).

I went to 41+3 with DD1, and suspect I only went into labour then as I saw a Dr that gave me a very enthusiastic palpation - was a relief though as DD was breech so it was spontaneous labour or CS for me! DD was born after 7 hours of labour and was absolutely fine.

Fingers crossed your LO turns up soon

It seems to be a modern pressure to have your baby at 40-42 weeks. In the old days people were more relaxed about it. If you google it there'll probably be loads of birth stories about babies arriving safely at 42+ weeks. I'll have a look.

this is comforting.

Thanks for the comments so far it's even just helping by making my fear public...

riven lack of bh or practice contractions means I have no idea if all is working correctly

LadyOfWaffle I've heard a few good experiences of the gel however IF it doesn't work then you're on started on the slipperly slope towards emergency cs.

needahand I've only tried lots of curry and sex (twice a day now which I think is helping soften my cervix but little else and walking. I don't like the idea of clary sage but have just bought some lavender oil as I've been on a short course in aromatherapy and know that it's safe and stimulating /relaxing. My baby is very active and always has a good heartbeat on my MW visits - it's just the unknown placenta factor that concerns me and indecision on whether to keep going without induction or not.

7 births wow that's scary but I like the advice she got from a MW who had seen lots of healthy placentas. That's encouraging.

I am keeping an open mind and know that you can't always have your birthplan, I should have gone for a homebirth but started out thinking that the safest thing for a first baby would be to go to hospital in case of the complications.

It's nice to hear that when some of you had your examination it kicked things of for some of you

I've been googling like mad for "good experiences" but for every good one there's a horrible one so it's so confusing.

at babe! Thanks TarkaLiotta, I think you're right I've been reading too many horror stories and a friend that had her baby at the end of April went through the whole gel to cs situation and although she's fine and has said I have nothing to worry about, I just can't help myself. It helps hearing the good stories as it takes a bit of the edge off the fear factor!

Hi, I've had 4 inductions the first (41 weeks because I didn't have a dating scan and they didn't believe me about when I got pregnant) and 3rd (40 weeks due to health issues) did not go smoothly in that they took 3 lots of gel and an ARM, 2nd (40+16) and 4th (42 exact) went really well on 1 and 2 lots of gel retrospectively. With my last birth 6 hours after the first lot of gel my bishops score was still only 1, 2nd lot of gel and baby was here within 5 hours and it was a fantastic time.

Anyway a bishops score of 3 and lots of BH sounds fab to me as I never had BH that I was aware of. Ony ever had one tiny stitch and that was with dc2 who was 10lb6oz but there was grade 3 meconium which was a risk which helped me decide to be induced at 42 weeks with dc4.

Hi CarGirl, that's a lot of late babies! I'm glad your last birth went well and it's encouraging that you didn't need a cs. I am definitely going to find out if there are any health issues to help make a decision. I just feel a bit guilty for having lots of thoughts of not wanting a induction and getting quite stressy and angry about it when I discuss it with DH. Even though I still will go through with it if it means having a healthy baby.

I declined induction at 42 weeks and eventually had DS naturally at 42+6. I saw a consultant who listened to my reasons and said that he couldn't guarantee the safety of my baby (who can?) but that he was happy for me to go another week. DS was born with apgar scores of 10 and 10, no meconium in the waters, placenta beautiful (apparently!). I knew all along that he was well as he was kicking for England. He just needed a bit longer.

In retrospect I think it was DS bad position that made him take so long to come - both in bringing on labour and labour lasting so long. Has anyone suggested to you that your baby may not be in an ideal position?

I tried everything to make DS come on time - none of which worked. They come when they are ready or via induction. It's not an easy choice I know but obviously it worked out well for us. Good luck with whatever you decide

I never had Braxton Hicks either, this doesn't mean you won't go into labour!

At 40 weeks I had a sweep and had a cervix 'like a 38 weeker', cue tears and wailing from me. A week later I went into spontaneous labour. So, all is not lost.

Oh, and I only had a show when I was well into established labour.

For me the decision was easy for the last 2, I wanted a homebirth and once you are past 42 weeks the local hospital won't support that and tbh after going 16 days over with dc2 the certainty of having an induction date (I think they were booked early in my pregnancy) helped me cope with the whole having to acutally go in the hospital in the first place.

I remember at my 41 week appt a diff dr bullied me into be induced at 10 days over, I walked out of the hospital and burst into tears. Once I collected myself I ran uup the midwifes and told them I wasn't going in and they were fine about it.

Even if they monitor you at the hospital the issue is that the placenta can be fine and then within 24 hours it's too late, I just didn't want to take that teeny tiny risk. I know people who didn't have good outcomes from waiting past 42 weeks so that has def coloured my attitude to it all.

Actually length of pregnancy usually follows the same pattern as your Mum especially if you have similar cycles to your Mum too.

Same here, my db and I were late, my Mum never went into spont labour, irregular cycles, very heavy periods leading to aneamia etc. Plus I often had 5-6 week cycles so hardly surprising my babies were keen to hang on in there!

TheProvincialLady I have not asked much about positioning I've been told it's good head down on every check-up. I only just started to engage last week and baby is presenting 3/5, so I am doing optimal fetal positioning to try and encourage a good position. Many thanks for your story and best wishes

RubyRioja My concern is definitely further intervention and fear/anxiety over a cs/injections and being cut open. If labour starts with just the prostin gel like it did for you I think I will be fine, there's just no guarantee is there? It seems your only just increasing your chances of medical intervention.

CarGirl It's that risk that I'm worried about taking although my DH said he will support whatever decision I make, it's just not easy. I think there is something in family genetics and patterns, although I can't compare with my mum as I take after my dad, she is tiny in build compared to me and couldn't give birth due to her pelvis being to narrow and inflexible so she had cs.

I think with a bishops score of 3 you are well onto a high possibility of one lot of gel doing most of the work, it sounds as though with your Mum's history the only risk is that you may have a tiny pelvis but that would be a problem even if you went into spont labour.

Have they booked you in yet? In our local hospital they are absolutely full to the brim and delaying inductions here there and everywhere.......

No I'm on the waiting list and have not had any calls yet (thank goodness). I think they may call tomorrow (42 wks) and I am just getting myself worked up over what to say or do. Hormonal as I am I will probably surprise myself as I keep changing my mind over and over. I think you're right I may have a good chance with one gel (fingers crossed) and I'm getting worked up over nothing and may just grit my teeth and go for it as I don't know whether I am up for waiting. DH says I need to set myself a date for when I will hold out to, either tomorrow or try have a last go for relaxing /self inducing over the weekend and be ready to go for Monday. Maybe they will be so busy I will have to wait anyhow!

I went to 43+3 with my DD!!

Wow kookykid was it nerve-wracking or were you confident that DD was okay?