Anyone else have to pay to know the sex of your baby?

[Poohbah]

Because at Shrewsbury hospital they won't tell you you have to arrange another scan and pay £70 to know.

I was asked whether I would like to know with my first (n. ireland) but refused. Have no idea whether they tell you where I am now but have no intention of finding out.

We don't even get the 12 week dating scan- have to pay if you want one of those.

I agree with Daisy. It smacks of the whole "we know best, don't worry your pretty little head" attitude that you often get in the medical profession.

But people have said it's because some people will then abort female babies, how can you object to this because you want to know to go shopping? we're 'women'

Why should the overwhelmingly vast majority of people be denied a piece of information that will bring them happiness because anecdotally there is a possibility that a tiny minority of people may misuse that information? Should we ban alcohol because some people drink too much and commit crimes while under the influence? Do you really think that if someone was prepared to abort a child on the basis of its sex alone, they wouldn't pay a few quid for a private scan? So I think that argument is a non-starter myself.

I don't think it's anecdotal.

Actually dh and myself were saying to each other just this morning that this gov. really needs to do something about licensing laws (we live just off the high Street see and it's like a zoo out there most nights)

what do you think about the smoking ban?
do you think we should be reducing salt in food?
what do you think about marketing fast food on childrens TV?
or all those toy ads at Christmas?

(I admit I am very off topic here sorry)

Although I am on the don't want to know end of the spectrum so maybe I'm being unfair?

True it probably is, maybe they should just tell everyone they can't tell

wonder how long it would take us mumsnetters to twig?

i think there should be a blanket policy, one way or another.

because folks who are going to abort if it's female at a 20 week scan are generally going to have the means to either pay privately for a very expensive abortion in the UK or travel abroad for one, so it stands to follow if their trust won't tell them they'll just go private, anyhow.

we couldn't care one way or another - i was far more worried about the nuchal scan/blood test results - but for once, we'd like to know, to tell the girls the baby's name, our family, start to talk to the baby not just 'it' or 'baby'.

if they weren't going to tell us, however, we'd break out the credit card.

My husband's family is Asian - none of them ever want to find out beforehand - they think we are strange as we do! I can see both sides. But in the case of OP's hospital, it is clearly not a policy in place because they are concerned about people aborting girl babies - because they will happily tell you - if you pay them to! I think that's lousy just using curiosity as a money-spinner, regardless of people's personal reasons for finding out. Either tell or don't. I do think we should all be told if they can see. There are always ways that people can sex their baby, so the NHS refusing to tell people doesn't save any lives ultimately, I suspect.

Abortion legal in UK up to 24 weeks

Expat would you really use cc so you can tell the dds name suppose they get it wrong?

they usually don't, 1. and a lot of hte time, it's pretty obvious.

we would like to know this time round.

we didn't the last two times and this time, we want to try something different.

if i had to pay for it, i would, especially a 3 or 4d would give a pretty good image.

Well, yes, abortion is legal in the UK up to 24 weeks, but you do realise that the NHS won't abort on hte basis of gender and that if you go private it can be VERY costly as you go along in the 2nd trimester due to the procedures involved.

anyone who has that kind of money will likely go abroad where they won't raise any eyebrows.

again, something that's not exactly cost-free.

no, you wouldn't say that, but you do have to convince them.

and let's face it, people are discriminatory, if you are Asian and go to your GP for hte referral that you need on the NHS and he/she finds out you just had the scan, it's not going to take a rocket scientist for them to raise their hackles about it, especially if you've already been to your midwife appointments, had blood tests and the like.

whereas, if you go abroad, in some places, you don't even have to put on an act. you just pay the money and they do it.

The law's a bit different for a late termination, too. You can't just have it be damaging to health; it has to be worse than if you continued with the pregnancy. (Though honestly it's a meaningless distinction, because it's almost always safer to not be pregnant.)

Frankly I think it's ludicrous that that's used as a justification, because anyone who is that desperate to know would shell out for a sex scan. I very, very much wanted a girl, so I wanted to know in advance so I could reconcile myself to a boy (as I have done) well in advance, rather than greet the poor little guy with hormonal misery. I don't want his first few days of life to be less than happy because of an irrational emotion I could deal with in advance. Sod clothes - I dislike pink, anyway. To have someone in the NHS be all, well, we know but why do you need to...? About MY pregnancy would infuriate me. It's not as if it's their concern - it isn't a health-related matter. If they just hadn't seen genitals and hadn't time to spare waiting for him to move, absolutely fair enough, but to know and refuse to tell the mother is just rude.

When Bevan created the NHS he created it so that there would be equality between rich and poor. I think these local policies are inherently against the principles of the NHS and ethically dubious indeed.

Expat - No 20 weeks scan in Edinburgh is also disgraceful!

no idea on policies but we have a genetic condition in my family and the sonographer actually took ages trying to find the sex for us
the syndrome is in boys so do they give me the chance to terminate better than others
i told them i wanted to know to prepare myself which is a good job seeing as hes got it
hes due in july

Have you heard of Contact a Family? They provide lots of information and helpfor parents of babies with genetic conditions!