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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else have to pay to know the sex of your baby?

89 replies

Poohbah · 14/05/2008 14:41

Because at Shrewsbury hospital they won't tell you you have to arrange another scan and pay £70 to know.

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FrannyandZooey · 15/05/2008 17:48

well, I don't really see that it is unfair tbh

it's a bit like saying why should I not be able to go to the beach because I live in the Midlands, when I could in Norfolk

but I hope you all enjoy finding out or not finding out anyway,

MrsTittleMouse · 15/05/2008 17:56

The thing that would really get me was if the sonographer knew and I didn't. It's my body and my baby, so I think that I should know if they do. I don't have a problem with people who chose not to find out though - it's a very personal decision.

Original poster

Poohbah · 16/05/2008 15:21

I think it might be a breach of the Human Rights Act, Right to privacy or family life??? Would anyone know about this?

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 16/05/2008 18:05

I am sorry but I think you are being ridiculous
if you don't want the sonographer to know the sex of your baby then don't have a scan
really who gives a stuff

expatinengland · 16/05/2008 19:52

I don't understand why you would have to pay for this. I think the lawsuit thing is just an excuse too. You are being treated like 'children'...this is ridiculous. Why not contact your health minister (or whatever they're called) or the head of the NHS and demand an explanation why this is so? If you want to know, it should be your right to know throughout the country.

It's interesting that in the US (where we're supposedly always suing) there's no question that you won't learn the sex of your child unless you don't want to know. Of course in some instances, they might not be able to tell depending on how the

Don't continue to put up with this injustice!

Franny, if YOU don't want to know the sex of your child, fine, but how dare you impose your beliefs on others?

expatinengland · 16/05/2008 19:54

accidently deleted....

depending on how the baby is positioned

FrannyandZooey · 16/05/2008 20:11

LOL 'how dare you impose your beliefs on others'
what, by typing them on an internet discussion forum?
you're offended by reading my views, or do you think I am responsible for these policies?

I believe that citing the Human Rights Act because you can't find out the sex of your baby without paying is ruddy ridiculous

I don't think that is so shocking that I shouldn't dare say it

Chewable · 16/05/2008 20:23

I think you mistaken if you think that knowing what the sex of your baby is would help with the 'bonding' process. Actually, that is the biggest load of guff I've ever heard.

hotmama · 16/05/2008 20:35

The hosp where I had my dd's had a policy that they would tell you but you had to ask at the beginning of the scan - although they state that it may not be 100% correct etc.

As it happens, as I'm old I had 2 CVS's so found out 100% correct as is a chromosome test. I looked at it this way I was risking a miscarriage by having the test, so if I didn't miscarry and the chromosome test was O.K. then I found out the sex.

Didn't make me bond more- but was lovely to know for definite very early on.

It doesn't seem fair that there isn't a national policy - or consistency for that matter - we all pay the same National Insurance rates.

AHLH · 16/05/2008 21:55

SunshineMummy I had my 20 week scan at Barnsley 2 weeks ago and they told me. They even asked me if I wanted to know, but with the usual caveats that based only on a scan they can't be 100% sure, but he did find a willy!

I do believe though that it is only very recently that Barnsley have started tell.

slinkiemalinki · 16/05/2008 22:07

I sympathise that they won't tell you but how on earth can it be a breach of your right to family life or privacy? Like Franny says - the scan is not obligatory so you do not have to reveal the information and submit to it if you don't want to. And not sure how it could ever breach your right to family life?
expatinengland surely the difference in the US is that you are paying for your scan. With a private scan here in the UK, nobody would deny your right to know either.
I'm not defending the policy and disagree with the whole postcode lottery wholeheartedly - and also some people have such vehemently expressed views why others shouldn't find out - can't see why it's anyone else's business except the pg couple whether they choose to find out or not! but if the baby is cooperating I think we should all be told if we so choose.

skiwear · 16/05/2008 22:25

I think the concern is that people might request an abortion if the baby is female

slinkiemalinki · 16/05/2008 22:36

It is - but seems unfair that that policy is applied inconsistently across the country.

Original poster

Poohbah · 17/05/2008 16:23

Well I mentioned the Human Rights Act because I know that it can be applied across many situations in Healthcare and actually denying people the information if the sex of the baby is identified epecially in order to make money is pretty disrespectful in my opinion.

I know of cases where the sonographer has actually asked "Do you know the sex of your baby?" so they clearly know but refuse to tell, many people I know, myself included just can't afford to pay for an extra scan. A radiography friend has concerns about unecessary scans on health grounds aswell.

I accept you can't understand why I am bothered Franny but I have worked in NHS and to be treated as a cashcow frankly pisses me off as actually I do want to know for the reasons stated previously. You obviously don't live is a rural area so have no concept of how difficult things can be when you do live miles from shops.

OP posts:

pooka · 17/05/2008 16:27

By the way, you can't find out the sex in all parts of London. My step-sister's LHA had a no tell policy too. She's in north London. My LHA tells if asked (south London).

I didn't want to know.

My friend did, and was told was having a boy. Bit of a surprise when her lovely dd was born!

Original poster

Poohbah · 17/05/2008 16:38

I wouldn't mind if they got it wrong, at Chelsea there were disclaimer signs and you only got to know if the sex was revealed as part of the scan anyway, it is the inconsistency across the service that annoys me!

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 17/05/2008 20:22

"You obviously don't live is a rural area so have no concept of how difficult things can be when you do live miles from shops."

this is getting daft now
why don't you buy unisex stuff?

pooka · 17/05/2008 20:32

Yes, white, yellow or cream are really the best things for newborns: looks fantastic against new skin. Very plain and simple showing off the newness and beauty of a small baby.
Mail order/internet shopping?
I think that living in a rural area being an argument against a particular health trust's policy is a little tenuous.

hotCheeseBurns · 17/05/2008 20:45

ed at this!
I wanted to know my baby's sex and I will when I have more children.
At my scan I asked "can you tell if it's a boy or girl?" and she said "yes. Do you want to know?" and I said "yes" and she said "it's a boy". Simple.
I was a bit surprised and disappointed at first because I was hoping to have a girl but it took me all of an hour to start getting excited about lego and train sets and it wasn't long before I was thrilled to be having a boy.
I think that knowing helped me to sort of get to know him and fall in love with him while I was still carrying him, it added to the excitement, I loved buying boy things, choosing boys names and imagining him as a child growing up...
I'd be really cross if in the future they wouldn't tell me! They know but they won't tell you unless you pay? Ridiculous.

Original poster

Poohbah · 17/05/2008 20:58

I think I have made my arguments quite plain, it's a preference based on lots of levels, personal reasons aswell as on more pragmatic reasons. I have given alot of myself to the NHS over the over the years and helped many many people and I feel like I'm being ripped off by the hospital I was born and have worked in.

There are obviously people who agree with me.

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expatinscotland · 17/05/2008 21:00

they won't tell you in Edinburgh, either. in fact, you have to pay privately for even a 20-week scan.

i'm sick of not knowing. we didn't know the last two times and you know, you already get enough surprises during labour.

i'd stump up if the hospital wouldn't tell me. they do here, thankfully.

orangehead · 17/05/2008 21:03

I had both ds's at different hosp and both told me sex. Really shocked that some hosps dont. I wopuld be really cross too

DaisySteiner · 17/05/2008 21:04

I think it's ethically dubious for a sonographer to have withold information about your own baby if you have asked for it and they know the answer. We all have the right to see what's in our medical records so why not this?

hatrick · 17/05/2008 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 17/05/2008 21:08

i'm 90+% certain it's a girl. BUT, i have been wrong before.

for once, we'd just like to know.

this trust tells you.

but what does really suck and is unfair is that, in this trust, i got full CUBS screening - the nuchal+biochemistry screen - and the 20-22 weeks anomaly scan and told the sex, all on the NHS.

but women living in the trusts that share our borders get a 13 week scan and that is it.

for everything else, they have to pay, and it's not cheap - £150 for the nuchal and about £150 for the anomaly/gender screen.

that's not really cool.

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