When did you tell your child?

[Friedseasalt]

Pretty much what the title says. When did you tell your child you were pregnant? For background I am just over 10 weeks and have a 4 year old. I'm a little worried that DC's life is going to massively change. I want him to be prepared as best as can be for his age and aware that a baby is coming. I also think that 9 months is a super long wait for anyone never mind someone young. Curious to what others have done & how they told them 😊

Congratulations on your news!
We told our 5 and 3 year old at 12 weeks after the scan. They were excited then as time went on didn’t really ask any questions about baby until I started showing more.

I'm booking at private scan at 10w 5d to tell my 5 year old because we go on holiday at 11w - 13w and would like to be able to tell him once we've left the country and he can't tell everyone 🤣

16 weeks for my 2nd and 3rd pregnancy. I'd experienced losses before and didn't want my DC to have to process that if I could help it. Aaaaand didn't think I could cope with their impatience for the new baby.

I think 16/20 weeks is good- still give you 4 or 5 months to prep them once they're aware, plenty of time for a 4 year old.

We told our three year old after our 12 week scan.

He's very excited but does keep asking if it's nearly July so the baby can come 😂

I plan on telling my 3.5 year old around my 8 week appointment only because I’ll have to take her along to it and she’s very in tune and smart kid so would rather brief her a little beforehand as to what is happening.

2 children (girls) aged 8 and 10.

We told them the day after we found out... we knew it was highly likely I would be ill and end up in hospital.
Bit of luck we did as less than a week later my 10 year old found me unconsious, and I was ambulenced to hospital.

It quickly became clear that the pregnancy was too risky for my own life to consider keeping, so I terminated it.

It was the right decision to let my daughters know immediately... my daughters learnt a life lesson about termination as well.

My 10 year old also arguably saved my life when she found me and got me the help i desperately needed, and she knew WHY I was poorly.

After the 20week scan.

No chance I wanted to tell a 2 and 4yr old I was having baby until I was confident everything was healthy. If something had gone wrong I don't think I'd have been able to cope with the 4yo questions.

As it was 20 weeks is a very long time for them to wait for a baby. And they regularly told me it was taking too long!

Don't tell them until you're prepared for everyone else to know too!
my daughter (4) just came home from preschool today saying one of her friend's mummy has a baby in her tummy lol...

I had the NIPT at 11 weeks and we told our 4 year old just after we got the results from that.

I'm 34 weeks now and she's very excited for 'baby sister' to arrive. I love that we've had plenty time to prepare her and involve her in everything.

I wanted to wait until the 20 week scan as I'd had a previous loss and didn't want DD (then nearly 4) to be disappointed. Also it was a very hard fought IVF pregnancy with no chance of another if it didn't work.

But we were going to a wedding at about 18 weeks and I always get massive when pregnant so I just knew someone would say something!! Plus she kept asking me why my tummy was so fat! So we told her but I did say that sometimes babies don't keep growing in the tummy so we had to wait and see. She seemed to accept that.

Someone did say something so it was lucky I'd told her. Luckily her brother arrived safe and sound x

Dd was 9 when I was pregnant with ds and she guessed herself my morning sickness was really bad. I was about 3 months when she figured it out

My daughter is nearly 3, we're not planning to tell her until after the 20 weeks scan. We're also hoping to find out the sex then so can tell her if she's having a little brother or sister.

I told my 7 year-old after my 12 week scan. I bought him a card saying “brother” on it and popped a scan picture of baby there, explaining they are growing in mummy’s tummy.

He’s re-read the card several times and has started talking to baby saying he’s his big brother. 🥰

I told my 4 year old after the 20 week scan. I had a miscarriage before at 11 weeks so didn’t feel confident telling him even after the 12 weeks. Plus it’s far too long a wait I think after 12 weeks. He seems pleased with the news. He didn’t notice or comment on the bump either.

We told our nearly 3 year old after the 20 week scan, like others a history of losses made me nervous about mentioning it before then. I asked him if he knew why my tummy had got so big and he said, yes, because there’s a baby in there. So less telling, more confirming, clearly I hadn’t been as subtle as I thought! Lots of his friends’ mums had had babies so I think k he worked it out that way. He also said it was a baby sister, which it was. I’ve no idea how he knew that one.

I wouldn't until at least 20 weeks, probably later if I could get away with it without them noticing/ asking why my tummy was so big.

Children's perception of time is so different to ours.

Even at 20 weeks they still have another 20 to wait, which is an incredibly long time for a little child. There's not really any reason to tell them sooner.

On two occasions, my young DCs were the ones to tell me they were having a baby sibling. Small children can be quite fey.

We told our 4 and 6 year olds at about 24 weeks, we didn’t tell anyone really until after the anomaly scan anyway. It meant we knew all was fine and they wouldn’t have too long to wait and to understand the wait time.

I waited until after the 20 week scan before telling anybody, including my 5 and 3 year olds (I’ve had 6 consecutive losses.) Also meant it isn’t such a lengthy wait for them!

We had a private scan at around 16 weeks and brought DS with us to it.

(We'd already had a private scan at 8 weeks and the NHS scan at 12 so were as comfortable as we could be that everything was okay.)

We had an early miscarriage a few months before so I'd always wait until 12 weeks before telling them, personally.

21/22 weeks for our 3.5 year old. Wouldn't even contemplate telling them before the 20 week scan - no need to and saves the awful possibility of then having to share bad news which they're too young to really understand. We kept it very low key rather than making a big song and dance. She took it really well, it was very sweet. I'd have held out longer but she is very chatty and listens in to all conversations. It was becoming more obvious so I was worried someone else would spill the beans by accident.

20 weeks after the anomaly scan both times. History of losses, and it gives them time to get their head around it!

It really depends on their age but you probably have to tell everyone at the same time, because someone might mention it in front of them and kids will absolutely tell everyone once they know! But of course if they're older or wiser they might figure it out

I would wait until at least 12 weeks after scan.

I would tell her - have a lovely moment sharing the news and then just mention it occasionally until nearer the time. Often enough so she doesn't forget but not so often it starts to overwhelm her.

Include her in a few choices - baby's coming home outfit or a teddy for baby.

I thought this about my little girl but the midwife was really good about saying pregnant rather than referring to a baby and I think we got away with it. Although when we told her after the scan she said “I knew it!” 😅