Nursing covers for discreet breastfeeding

[Orissiah]

As a shy person, I would like to breastfeed in public (including in front of my family and friends and in the park etc) but would like to do so discreetly. I know I can use muslins or towels or sheets or pashminas but am considering one of these Bebe au Lait nursing covers which gives full cover as well as space on top to look down at baby:
shop.bebeaulait.com/shop/originals

Anyone had any experience using these? I've found them for sale at maternityandnursing.co.uk/Bebe_au_Lait_Nursing_Covers-details.aspx

Thanks,
O

Just want to add my voice to the "once you get used to it, you can feed anywhere wearing practically any top and somebody would have to be watching pretty damned closely to know what you were doing" brigade.

As a matter of interest, has anyone on here actually been asked to stop feeding or leave anywhere? Or is the fact that you occasionally hear of this happening on the news mean that it's really incredibly rare? I fed for 4 years in total, and I was desperate to be asked to leave somewhere so that I could stand up for my rights, but I never got anything but approval, soppy smiles and free cups of tea!

Thanks for your comment HellyMelly. My boobs are huge too :-P and I live in London and am out and about in central London alot where there are always so many people. I was thinking of buying one of Bebe au Lait's plain cover ones - ivory or white. Money isn't an issue so I may buy one to have as one option among many.

I bfed a lot while out and about in London and I think you're FAR less likely to get comments as a) people don't notice and b) bfing in public is pretty common anyway, esp in coffee shops etc. I also have big norks and discretion problems! I think wearing a cover up is more likely to draw attention to the fact you are feeding.

Good places to feed in Central London: galleries (NOT the feeding rooms but comfy becnhes or sofas in the main galleries), coffee shops, anywhere you can sit down

In the hot weather (wow, we've been having hot weather in Scotland!!) I've found these strappy tops [[www.mamaway.co.uk/ShopStyle/rgcj3/GoodsDescr.asp?category_id=1&parent_id=0&prod_id=05641] by Mamaway are great - they are tactel-type fabric, with 2 layers: you lift the top layer up and push layer below to one side to access boob. Personally I'd avoid the H&M tops as these ones are 'access from top' and I have big boobs, so no discrete nipple latching for me from these... Cheap version is to get ribbed vest top and cut slits in it (wearing baggy T over top, of course!). Gets laughs from DH though .

Oh, just worked out why link didn't post OK:
www.mamaway.co.uk/ShopStyle/rgcj3/GoodsDescr.asp?category_id=1&parent_id=0&prod_id=05641
They are perhaps a bit more expensive than tops from high-street shops at £19 (reduction for 2), but I'm getting so much use from mine that I'm considering getting more...

i saw a woman (american, i may add although that's neither here not there) using one of these the other day and the first thing that sprung to mind was HOW RIDICULOUS.

honestly the faff you need to make to get the thing in place, often when your baby will be screaming for a feed, is guaranteed to draw attention to you and the fact you are about to breastfeed. so if you are shy it's just going to make things worst in my opinion.

add to that the fact that your baby may hate it- some babies just don't like being constricted.

but for me the overwhelming argument against these contraptions is that they play on some kind of accepted argument that breastefeding is a shameful thing and you should cover up and that really drives me insane. it is in my opinion one step away from forcing women to go to the loo to feed or to stay at home!

i am not saying you won't feel a bit self conscious to begin with- you will. with my dd i waited till i was quite confident in my latch and positioning before i started bfing in public and in the beginning i think i used a shawl or a muslin to cover up- but when i got more confident i just pulled up top quickly, pulled down bra and off we went.

have you ever seen a woman nursing in public? can you honestly say that you've seen much flesh? a woman nursing in a natural and relaxed way is i think very discreet- much more than one layered in a weird sheet of fabric and looking self-conscious.

sorry- i realise i've come across very harshly. it is not meant to be against you Orissiah, but rather against the product. i'd say save your money for a lovely scarf or pashmina and use that to begin with- and come back in a couple of months to let us know how you've ditched it for bfing and are "only" using it to decorate your neck!

numptymum thanks! what lovely nursing tops i may just get a couple!

hhhaaaactually i lived in NYC for a while and did quite a bit of travelling from there as it happens, but please don't let that tangle with your fantasy version of me (based on a one-line post, lol).

the reasons i'm not answering your questions is because i think tbh you are behaving like a weird american woman and i'm disinclined to engage with you on this matter.

had you in any way seemed reasonable in your first post to me, said something as simple as 'in what way?' rahter than taking the extraordinarily pompous tone you did and writing screeds in response to a fairly silly comment, i might have been more inclined to discuss the matter.

oh, and for the record if someone said 'scotland is weird about women' i'd almost certainly respond with a 'really, what makes you think that?' and then listen real hard to the answer in case i learned something about the way people view gender in my country.

Apologies if this has been said already.

Why not get yourself a nice ring sling instead? It will be genuinely useful for carrying baby and it also allows discreet BFing when you get the hang of it. You can also use the tail for extra shade/coverup if you want.

Plus it saves your arm, back etc. and looks stylish.

Another option would be one of those pretty, summer-weight pashmina scarves, which you can just drape over your chest.

ATC, it's just not pleasant to hear your whole country called 'wierd about women.' I'm a californian too so I guess I'm extra weird! On the whole I've found the UK to be much more hung up about breastfeeding in public than the US.

oh fgs. righto... you know, i would apologise but i do think that you and expatinengland are taking a throwaway comment a leeeeetle seriously so i'm not going to.
i do think america is weird about women, lots of conflicting messages about maternity/sexuality/value etc. and as it happens my american friends think the same thing, i know this because we've talked about it often. not to say that america isn't just a more extreme example of the shit that will inevitably happen over here, of course.

although to be fair joys, your post at least seemed like the beginning of a discussion i might be interested in having, were it not for the looming, belligerent presence of expatinengland... (who btw really shoudl think about changing her name as i keep thinking expatinscotland has gone mad).

Never had a problem bfing in public here and I breastfed my babies til they were 18 months old (which is considered downright crazy by many UK people ). However I definitely felt more self-concious bfing in the UK than in Spain, where we used to live. I think this is because (a) climate, I felt like I was undressing more in the UK purely becasue I was actually wearing more clothes and (b) it is much much more common to bf in Spain than in the UK. Hav ebought an enormous maternity poncho/jumper thing (stylish!) in anticipation of third baby arriving December.

My sister was asked to leave a pub garden in Scotland when bfing her newborn.

Like a pp said, I think it says a lot about those countries/states who have felt the need to bring in this type of legislation.

I'm with Seeker. I slightly longed to assert my Breastfeeding Rights, but the only thing that ever offended me was people looking Pointedly Away Tactfully .

Don't forget the baby's head will probably cover your areola.

oh i don't think there's any doubt that it's part of a wider public health policy in scotland, the bfing stats are a disgrace here and (obv varying dependent on where you go) it's not the norm to bf (although none of my friends ever had a problem afaia). nor is it the norm anywhere in the UK and it needs to be addressed. i'm glad that our parliament at least seeks to do something about it, but there's a long way to go, definitely. that's a discussion that's had on here A Lot.

no nips on show here either

[squints]
I think the scottish ladies just have normal tops hitched up

A very nice guard on a train once asked me if I would like tomove into an empty first class compartment "You an put your feet up in there and you're doing a more useful job than most of the people who usually travel in there' He brought me a cup of tea and gave me his railway company badge for the baby.

Mrs B what a fatastic site! deserves a thread of its own!

I did help the woman who designed these by trying out some prototypes.
Not getting into the fact that they aren't really necessary I do understand it can be a bit worrying to feed in public, so surely better for a nervous mum to spend money on something like that than not feed in public and either have to pump/express or mix feed when you don't want to (or not go out...)

I think our cultural emphasis on the need for discretion when feeding is probably one reason for breastfeeding problems - basically because most women have never seen what a properly latched on baby looks like - all they see when they look at a nursing mother is cloth!

NumptyMum, thanks for the link to Mamaway - what wonderful nursing tops they have. I really didn't like the style of H&M's tops so bought nothing but Mamaway tops look more my style. What is their customer service like? Do they deliver promptly?