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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

SIL told hubby shes expecting and not me - should I care?

54 replies

sarahmckenzie24 · 06/02/2025 20:29

she came over the house last night and i was at the gym, and told hubby shes expecting with her husband there too. She did not once mention to tell me, ask where I was, hasn't text me, my hubby just told me. Am I being petty to feel out the loop and not included? we have been texting december/jan about both trying to get pregnant, but kind of had a small small falling out but have spoke since in Jan. I feel a little left out, but I am trying not to take it personally, just would of liked to have been told by her herself. If roles were reversed, I would totally have the respect to tell her myself if I was having her niece/nephew/

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 06/02/2025 21:04

I have 4 siblings. Dh has 3. I have no idea who told who what when any pregnancy was announced. We all got to hear at some point and each was welcomed and the parents to be were congratulated.

Mangoesintoapub · 06/02/2025 21:05

How long have you been trying for, OP? I wonder whether that's why her announcement hasn't been easy for you and you're focusing on the fact you weren't there but that's just because you're feeling a bit fragile about the whole subject.

GoldenNuggets08 · 06/02/2025 21:13

You are really overthinking this and making something about you that's really not about you. Text her Congratulations and be happy for her.

Optimist2020 · 06/02/2025 21:19

Mangoesintoapub · 06/02/2025 21:05

How long have you been trying for, OP? I wonder whether that's why her announcement hasn't been easy for you and you're focusing on the fact you weren't there but that's just because you're feeling a bit fragile about the whole subject.

@Mangoesintoapub the OP post is really about her sil getting pregnant before her and she feels fragile about it.

Rachmorr57 · 06/02/2025 21:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 06/02/2025 21:23

I'm sure I told my brothers before telling their wives.

boobleblingo · 06/02/2025 21:25

It's not about you

Pineapplewaves · 06/02/2025 21:44

Your DH told you the news when you got home and you should have text her straight away to congratulate her.

Having not heard from you I'd assume that you aren't happy about the news or jealous that I conceived first. It wouldn't occur to me that you are waiting to be told the news personally.

FurryTeacup · 06/02/2025 21:48

It’s deeply weird that your immediate response wasn’t to text her to congratulate her, but to go on the internet to complain that she didn’t tell you separately.

Do you honestly think anyone has to instruct their brother to tell his wife they’re expecting a baby?

What’s actually upsetting you here, PP?

SpringBunnyHopHop · 06/02/2025 21:50

They came over you weren’t home.

lilytuckerpritchet · 06/02/2025 21:53

So sil told her brother? Or bils brother? I'm assuming they thought he would tell you.

BaMammaWASOoodiks · 06/02/2025 21:54

I expect she's just excited and wasn't thinking about you at that moment.

TwentyTwentyFive · 06/02/2025 21:54

828Pax · 06/02/2025 20:55

She is probably wondering why you haven't text to congratulate her!

Agreed. It's weird you think she should be texting you, why haven't you messaged to say congratulations?

savoycabbage · 06/02/2025 21:56

I told my sister I was pregnant but I didn't tell BIL because he was at work, I just assumed my sister would tell him. We are close as well, BIL and I.

Shrinkingrose · 06/02/2025 22:02

TwentyTwentyFive · 06/02/2025 21:54

Agreed. It's weird you think she should be texting you, why haven't you messaged to say congratulations?

Yes I also agree, that would be the normal thing to do. Not say well she didn’t tell me personally so I’m in a huff.

OwlInTheOak · 06/02/2025 22:03

Maybe she didn't want to tell you directly incase you're finding it hard trying? She might not know how you're feeling currently

Annoymous3659 · 06/02/2025 23:15

I think it’s odd for her not to tell you directly even via text if you were out the house. It’s not small
news to pass on. Nonetheless I would text her and her husband congratulations and leave it at that

DaisyChain505 · 06/02/2025 23:16

You’re over reacting.

Thepossibility · 06/02/2025 23:55

Obviously she should've told you first as soon as she found out because you're obviously the main character in the family.

Maddy70 · 07/02/2025 00:13

Why is this an issue? Completely overthinking this. You sound unhinged frankly.

PickledElectricity · 07/02/2025 00:20

What did you fall out about?

NestaArcheron · 07/02/2025 00:27

How would she know you were out? She might have come to tell you both - but it's her brother at the end of the day! This isn't about you, it's their announcement- please don't sulk and take the shine off of them.

My mil threw a fit when we told her I was expecting because I told my mum first - that should have been a clue for how bad it would become, but never mind!

Don't be that person, op.

gokartdillydilly · 07/02/2025 00:37

Jesus OP! You sound extremely immature. It's a total non issue. You really need to pick your battles, and preferably not with family members. You will never not look like a dick doing stuff like this. As well as congratulating his sister, maybe you need to apologise to your husband, as I bet he has copped an earful!

sel2223 · 07/02/2025 19:01

If this is your husbands own sister, she wasn't to know you were out and she didn't say for him not to tell you.....

....then, yes, you are being unreasonable and waaay overthinking this

Hoppinggreen · 07/02/2025 19:03

Yeah, she probably should have told you even before she told her husband

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