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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Refused C Section- can anyone offer advice/share their experience?

86 replies

Quinners · 04/02/2025 07:30

I am currently 36 weeks pregnant and have always leaned towards an ELCS despite being low risk (the unknown, uncontrolled element and higher risk of incontinence later in life for V birth were the main elements for my preference).
I told my Midwife at my last appointment and she was very patronising. She booked me in to see a consultant and i was hoping we could have an informative discussion about the risks, pros and cons etc. Wow was I wrong!

Firstly, the consultant took me to a room in the hospital and asked me to sit while she stood over me for the entire meeting (weird power dynamic move). When I said I'd like an elective she simply said 'no' and didnt even ask for my reasons. She then asked how tall I was and said 'oh you're tall and nice you'll push a baby out easily'. How is that a professional comment? She also dismissed my concerns around vaginal birth complications and said that she'd had three kids and was fine. I was hoping for data and statistics rather than a personal anecdote. She then became very keen on writing in my notes that l didn't want an induction (I hadn't even mentioned this) and said that if I got to 40 weeks without going into labour they'd book me in for another c sec discussion.
I left the meeting feeling extremely upset and disheartened. I don't mind the refusal so much but the way I was spoken to and the lack of actual facts/clarity is really disappointing. Would love to hear some advice or to see if anyone else has experienced a similar thing? My health board is in Wales so unsure if that makes a difference.
Thanks for listening

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 04/02/2025 09:57

Be proactive.
Get a second opinion and make sure you are not over weight. Stay fit and active, put on no more than ten kilos, have all the scans you need and take natural birth classes..

theadultsaretalking · 04/02/2025 10:01

The thing is, recovery from ELCS can be just as short as the recovery from 'natural' birth, which didn't go well. I had both, and I know the route I would recommend to my daughter, for example.

But my point is that women should be allowed to make informed choices about their health and not be patronised by the system.

MegTheForgetfulCat · 04/02/2025 10:06

bigkidatheart · 04/02/2025 09:55

I would never choose to have a ELCS. But that's my personal preference.

I had 2 natural births. They were long births - induced the Friday morning had him the Wednesday night. 2nd baby, Sweep on Wednesday, went into labour Wed night had him Friday morning. Both were over 40 weeks. Baby 2 turned breach at week 38 but they managed to turn him.

I was glad to be up and walking around the following day and not have the additional recovery.

It's up to you, I am sure you have done your research, and if you push for it you should find a consultant who will perform the surgery.

There is always the possibility that you go into labour and its really fast. If you are too far along by the time you get to the hospital you might not have a choice.

Edited

I was glad to be up and walking around the following day and not have the additional recovery.

YMMV though, that's the point. I was walking around (slowly!) the day after my CS just as I was after my first VB. But I was in pain from the VB for a LOT longer. I remember goong for a gentle stroll in the park a week PP and still feeling like my insides were about to fall into my pants. Stopped needing any painkillers 2-3 weeks after CS but still taking them regularly 6 weeks after forceps delivery. So the whole thing around the "longer recovery" after CS may be true on a population level but it's not that helpful to help an individual decide.

mugglewump · 04/02/2025 10:08

A C section is a major operation and seems a strange choice for somone who is not breach and has not had a baby before which had complications with a vaginal delivery. If you are terrified of giving birth, get a second opinion and explain why you are so scared, rather than making it seem an entitled choice issue (which comes across in your post).

theadultsaretalking · 04/02/2025 10:17

What is wrong with an 'entitled' choice? Fear of things going wrong during childbirth is not an unfounded fear. There is nothing wrong with making informed decisions about your healthcare.

DrHGS · 04/02/2025 10:17

You have the right to request a caesarean birth and your medical team should be discussing the benefits and risks with you as well as discussing support options if the request is driven by a fear of labour and birth.
NICE guidelines state that “if after an informed discussion the woman requests a caesarean birth, support their choice”
Guideline is here if you want to read it in detail and I would suggest you quote this next time you get any push back
nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/chapter/recommendations

NameChangePoP · 04/02/2025 10:24

I understand you must feel very frustrated OP. However, I just wanted to say that CS are not the easy way give birth.

I had 2 vaginal deliveries and 2 CS. If I had the choice I would never ever have a CS again. The recovery time from a CS is horrendous. You can't sit, stand, laugh, cough, hold your baby properly - the list is endless. A vaginal delivery (if without complications) takes little time to recover from, and gets you back to normality weeks faster than a CS.

The vaginal complications you've mentioned are so rare. Yet the complications from a CS are much much higher. Just food for thought.

BunfightBetty · 04/02/2025 10:26

mugglewump · 04/02/2025 10:08

A C section is a major operation and seems a strange choice for somone who is not breach and has not had a baby before which had complications with a vaginal delivery. If you are terrified of giving birth, get a second opinion and explain why you are so scared, rather than making it seem an entitled choice issue (which comes across in your post).

What do you mean by 'entitled choice issue'?

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 04/02/2025 10:28

DrHGS · 04/02/2025 10:17

You have the right to request a caesarean birth and your medical team should be discussing the benefits and risks with you as well as discussing support options if the request is driven by a fear of labour and birth.
NICE guidelines state that “if after an informed discussion the woman requests a caesarean birth, support their choice”
Guideline is here if you want to read it in detail and I would suggest you quote this next time you get any push back
nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/chapter/recommendations

The trouble is that NICE guidance is that - guidance. In practice, it isn't implemented in huge swathes of the NHS across all sorts of areas. It is also NICE guidance that all women under 40 who have been trying to conceive for two years should be offered three full cycles of IVF, but loads of areas don't follow it.

My local trust said (in writing, in the prenatal notes book) that they didn't offer C sections for maternal choice, and so they would refer you out of the trust if that's what you wanted - which I think technically falls within the guidance. In practice it would have meant having to travel to a hospital 60 miles away for all your maternity care, so I don't think many women would see that as a genuine choice. That was 2021, so perhaps they've changed the position now, but the NICE guidance was in place then. It's not like NICE have enforcement powers.

PotaytoPotahhto · 04/02/2025 10:29

BunfightBetty · 04/02/2025 09:36

I’m sorry you struggled, it sounds like you had a very rough experience. Your experience leading up to needing an emergency c section may well have been the main factor in your struggle to bond, rather than the op in and of itself.

OP is requesting an elective section, which is a lot less risky and traumatic than an emergency one. In the nicest possible way, you are entirely correct when you say you have a layman’s view. Your experience is valid as your experience, but that’s as far as it goes. For every person who has an experience like yours, there’s at least one other who has a really positive experience with an ELCS. That’s why looking at risks and benefits more objectively via stats is so important. As is, of course, OP’s own knowledge of herself, her psychology, medical history, preferences, etc.

Show quote history

Exactly this. I had two elective c sections due to other medical reasons. Quick recovery both times, no long term issues, no overhang, no pain. It was a positive experience both times.

Imin · 04/02/2025 10:32

Wtf?!
Sorry op. It shouldn't be this hard. You are absolutely entitled to a c section as I hope you know. Don't let this lie. PALS today. Email the midwife for a second referral quoting NIce guidelines. But act quickly.

Allofthelightss · 04/02/2025 10:32

Worth noting the CS recovery isn't always longer or harder.

I had an elective. I was up as soon as I could feel my legs again. Once they'd seen I could shower, toilet & feed the baby I was discharged. Barely 24h later.

I had a bit of a tough sign off from my consultant but went with my reasons & the guidelines. My sister is a midwife, a bloody good one, and she'd have a section if having a baby now. Maternity care is stretched to breaking point.

Please request another consultant & I hope you get the outcome you want.

PixelatedLunchbox · 04/02/2025 10:41

Can you choose to have a cesarean on NHS?

The guidance says that if you still want a caesarean birth after you and the hospital have talked about it, and you have been offered support, the hospital should offer you a caesarean. An individual obstetrician (doctor) can refuse to perform a caesarean.

Roseeverything · 04/02/2025 10:49

RabbitsEatPancakes · 04/02/2025 07:49

Height has a strong correlation to pevis size. That's factual. Some consultants recommend c secs for ladies with small feet/ very short.

Natural deliveries have better outcomes for mums and babies that's statistically true. I know no one with long term issues from natural birth only from c secs and epis!

Incontinence issues are often caused by weak pelivic floor and carrying the baby for 9 months- not always anything to do with delivery. The only lady I know who had bum problems long term had a c sec. Even friends who've had 3rd degree tears healed well. I think its much better than the horror stories of old, we know much more about how to protect pelvic floor in pregnancy nowadays.

But you are supposed to be able to choose so I would push for one if you're sure.

Edited

Sorry but I have to disagree...

Long term issue can be very real with vaginal births , just because you don't know anyone with these problems doesn't mean they're not prevalent. I think a lot of 'bum issues' still aren't widely spoken about, the subject is still almost taboo.

Obviously pregnancy will have some impact on the pelvic floor but a planned section generally does protect the pelvic floor.

I'm not taking away the issues that can arise from sections by saying this btw I just want to raise an opinion from the other side .

Op you can certainly get a second opinion , it's in the nice guidance.

MegTheForgetfulCat · 04/02/2025 10:51

NameChangePoP · 04/02/2025 10:24

I understand you must feel very frustrated OP. However, I just wanted to say that CS are not the easy way give birth.

I had 2 vaginal deliveries and 2 CS. If I had the choice I would never ever have a CS again. The recovery time from a CS is horrendous. You can't sit, stand, laugh, cough, hold your baby properly - the list is endless. A vaginal delivery (if without complications) takes little time to recover from, and gets you back to normality weeks faster than a CS.

The vaginal complications you've mentioned are so rare. Yet the complications from a CS are much much higher. Just food for thought.

That "if no complications" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. And the risk of future incontinence following a vaginal delivery is absolutely not rare! Far from it. Why do you think Tena Lady is needed by so many older women?...

PotaytoPotahhto · 04/02/2025 11:02

You can't sit, stand, laugh, cough, hold your baby properly - the list is endless

I held my baby fine. I sat fine. I started walking slowly maybe 6 hours after the OP. Obviously coughing and laughing was difficult but it didn’t last long. Appreciate that’s your experience but it’s not the norm for it to be so restrictive.

nopenotplaying · 04/02/2025 11:27

My recovery after vaginal births was much quicker. C section isn't as 'easy' as it is made out to be. Maybe discuss pain management, an epidural? That does raise the risk of a c section but I assume you aren't bothered about that. What is really underlying? Are you frightened? It's normal to feel apprehensive xx

Brightstar5 · 04/02/2025 11:35

I had a c section with my first due to breech position. I had a really calm experience so requested an elective c section with my second. Midwife said no problem, booked me in with a consultant, consultant asked me a few questions and then booked me in. You are entitled to a c section if you want one. You need to request a meeting with another consultant and stand firm, if that’s what you want

CerealPosterHere · 04/02/2025 11:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

That’s a very valid reason. Different people have different acceptable risks. Women should be able to exercise informed choice.

Greenbottle123 · 04/02/2025 11:52

Tipsyscripsy · 04/02/2025 08:38

Not true at all. A woman can elect for a c section for any or no reason. It cannot be refused.

Show quote history

This isn’t true. No health professional has to perform a procedure they don’t think is in their patients’ best interests but they do have to make an onward referral to another HP if the patient continues to want the procedure

GuestSpeakers · 04/02/2025 12:51

How disappointing to see so many women dismissing OP. It's no wonder the consultant felt entitled to treat OP the way she did.

Phoden · 04/02/2025 13:29

Babyybabyyy · 04/02/2025 09:39

It costs a lot of money to have an ELCS when there aren't any mental or physical reasons. More medical professionals, more resources etc. I had tokophobia and considered a c section but decided to have a vaginal birth. I was scared of childbirth, but even more scared to have surgery and the complications that came come with surgery.

Show quote history

If every single pregnant woman had a C section, it would be cheaper for the NHS than their current spend on compensation for birth injuries (babies and mothers), ongoing physio/treatment for birth injuries, ongoing operations for birth injuries, etc.

Phoden · 04/02/2025 13:29

PotaytoPotahhto · 04/02/2025 11:02

You can't sit, stand, laugh, cough, hold your baby properly - the list is endless

I held my baby fine. I sat fine. I started walking slowly maybe 6 hours after the OP. Obviously coughing and laughing was difficult but it didn’t last long. Appreciate that’s your experience but it’s not the norm for it to be so restrictive.

Agreed

Phoden · 04/02/2025 13:31

user1492757084 · 04/02/2025 09:57

Be proactive.
Get a second opinion and make sure you are not over weight. Stay fit and active, put on no more than ten kilos, have all the scans you need and take natural birth classes..

What’s a natural birth class? Sounds like nonsense.

sweetpea2000 · 04/02/2025 13:59

PotaytoPotahhto · 04/02/2025 11:02

You can't sit, stand, laugh, cough, hold your baby properly - the list is endless

I held my baby fine. I sat fine. I started walking slowly maybe 6 hours after the OP. Obviously coughing and laughing was difficult but it didn’t last long. Appreciate that’s your experience but it’s not the norm for it to be so restrictive.

Same here. I was sore and needed painkillers for about five days after my EMCS, but it was manageable.

I could sit, stand, walk, climb the stairs and hold my baby just fine.