Just tested positive! When to tell others

[houserenohelp]

Just got my BFP! Waiting for hubby to get home so I can tell him

My parents are having a tough time with health etc and the news would really excite them. I know it's usual to wait until the first scan but I am considering telling them sooner. Has anyone else done this?

I waited until after my early scan at 8 weeks to tell my mum! The odds of everything being ok greatly increases after you see a heartbeat at 8 weeks. The rest of the world I told after my 12 week scan. It’s entirely up to you and what you would feel comfortable with.

look at it this way - if something were to happen (God forbid) who would you want to be there for you?

and congrats!! 🥰

It’s entirely up to you, I told my immediate family as soon as I found out because I had to let work know when I was pregnant so if I had to tell them I was telling my family first.

I told anyone I knew well immediately. Didn't wait until scans. I'm a 'it's better out than in' person. I was aware miscarriages can be frequent but felt I would rather have that conversation too if it happened rather than pretending none of it ever happened

Congratulations!!!!

Congratulations! There is no right or wrong.

I told my best friend right away, husband told his. We then told family at about 8 weeks. Now I have had my first scan more people know such as my team at work etc.
If you end up feeling sick etc I found it's helpful for someone else to know - my best friend was very sick in her first trimester so was able to give me advice and tips.

There's no right or wrong. I told my mum straightaway as she stayed over the night after we found out and I knew I couldn't hide it from her. My boyfriend told his family pretty quickly too, then I told a few friends early on as we were on a trip to Edinburgh and I had hyperemesis so spent a lot of it in bed and needed to explain why. Told my boss early due to the HG too. Otherwise everyone else found out after 12 weeks but looking at that list,I certainly told a lot of people!

Congrats! I agree its a personal thing and only you know your family and whether they will keep it to themselves.

MIL told us about SIL's pregnancy, even though SIL had said she'd call us herself. MIL proclaimed she had a right to tell anyone anything and didn't keep secrets. I never told her about any of my 3 pregnancies- which all sadly ended in MC. One of which I'd seen a heartbeat at 8 weeks, so its not always a guarantee things will work out. Its very rare to have 3 MC's though.

Congratulations!

There are no rules. You tell who you want, when you want and in any way you want.

For me personally, I told my best friend and mum fairly early as I wanted to share it with them and knew I would need their support if anything happened.

Other close friends and family it was after we'd had the NIPT results around 11 weeks.

Anyone else it's just been as and when we've seen them or it's felt right

I told work at 3 weeks for health and safety (literally 9DPO positive test stage). My mam at 9 and a half weeks (had had 2 scans at this point) as I ended up in hospital due to injury at work and I was worried about baby. Told siblings at 13/14 weeks, in laws at 17 weeks and then friends at 20 weeks. I’m now 22 weeks

Thanks everyone, I have booked an early scan in 2 weeks! so will be 6 weeks for the scan. How exciting but I am nervous being a first time older mum I have alot of learning to do

I think it’s a very personal decision. I’m not someone who likes or wants sympathy or people feeling sorry for me or talking about me. So I chose not to tell anyone other than my husband and best friend the first time. I had a normal scan at 6 weeks the first time but sadly miscarried at 7 weeks. Second time I told no one other than my husband and miscarried at 6 weeks. For me personally, I was glad I chose not to tell as I didn’t want to have those conversations. But others will much prefer the support.
For me as well I also knew at 40+ it was a higher chance of miscarriage which helped make my decision. I think if I’d have been younger it might have been different.

1st pg 12 weeks. We lost the baby at 17 weeks.
Thereafter 16/18 weeks.

Probably easier because I have never felt as much as mildly queasy when pregnant.

It's personal but personally I don't understand why it has to be public knowledge before 12 weeks.

I would definitely wait until 7/8. You're quite unlikely to see anything at 6 weeks and it won't really tell you anything one way or another

Congratulations! I am 4 weeks pregnant and told my best friends so that we have some support. Want to tell my parents probably after an early scan

Do join the due in October thread, I’ve found it helpful talking to other people also in the very early stages https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5255842-due-october-2025

I lost my first pregnancy at six weeks, second at 9 weeks and third at 19 weeks. No one knew about the first two and it made me extremely hesitant to tell anyone about our little boy (third pregnancy).

We told our families at 13 weeks after our 12 weeks scan and got all the screening results back. We'd just started to tell wider friends groups at 17/18 weeks, feeling pretty confident, and then we lost him at 19 weeks.

Once you've lost a baby, you also realise how painful pregnancy announcements can be for people, and half the time you never know the people you're telling have even had a loss, so it did change how I see it. Most people, apart from immediate family and close friends, don't care that much. Those that do will be good support.

There's no right or wrong; just a good idea to think how you'd handle giving bad news as well as giving the good news. Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck!

I told family (parents, MIL, siblings) at five weeks. If anything went wrong I would have wanted their support and to know what happened anyway, and I trusted them to keep it to themselves which they all did. There’s no need to wait until a scan if you don’t want to.

6 weeks for a scan is not a good idea. It's probable you won't see a heartbeat and you'll get extremely worried. I'd really wait until 7 weeks, ideally 8. We waited until 8 weeks and it was such a wonderful moment as we could see and hear the heartbeat and it was so re-assuring.

I told my parents before the scan. I figured even if I had a miscarriage, I would tell my mum about it too.

I agree with the posters giving advice about the early scan - if you can wait another 2 weeks that would be so much better.

I'm 42 and my first scan I would have been 8+2 going off LMP but I only actually measured 6+1 - if I'd gone 2 weeks earlier there would have been literally nothing to see.

Even if you're 100% on dates, at 6 weeks there may only be an empty gestational sac....or a yolk sac and fetal pole if you're lucky. It's unlikely there'd be an embryo or heartbeat yet.

12 weeks after first scan with all 3

I've never understood people saying they tell everyone straightaway because you want their support if anything went wrong. If, God forbid, you had a miscarriage, you're still allowed to tell people that's happened! And you won't have to worry about someone who's heard you're pregnant coming up to congratulate you.

It's OK not to understand, everyone is different.
There are no rules, you can tell whoever you want whenever you want.

@NarnianQueen that's not quite what I meant. It's that I am not trying to hide the pregnancy because i would tell them about the miscarriage anyway.

I wouldn't tell everyone at work I was pregnant at 6 weeks for example because then I'd have 100 people to explain that I then had a miscarriage, which would be awful. But I would tell my mum because she would share in the joy and she would also be my support if something went wrong.

We told parents around 6-8 weeks and siblings soon after. Everyone else after 12 weeks, except with my third as at 11 weeks my stomach popped out so everyone guessed and my boss inappropriately asked

I only told my sister at about 8 or 9 weeks then others after 13 weeks. I had a miscarriage at almost 16 weeks and I had only just told colleagues.

My pregnancy meant cancelling a huge trip and I didn't want to lie, so lots of people knew very early for me - before the first scan due to timings. For second pregnancy we booked an early scan. I think we did tell immediate family before it, but surprised them with twins after it 🤣

How old are you op?

Congrats by the way x