TTC at 43 positive comments only please first time trying

[Firsttimehopful]

Hello Everyone, very anxious to be starting this journey, please be kind and any positive stories will help :)

Good luck!
theres plenty of over 40’s on here having babies or TTC.

Yes it's our first month trying. I've not tracked using ovulation sticks, I just went by some "Symptoms" I get. Partner is 45 x

Good luck @Firsttimehopful

I'm 42 and currently 32 weeks pregnant with baby number 2.
Conceived naturally, all scans have been great so far, negative NIPT etc.

It can and does happen.

Thank you so much 😊 x

It might be worth charting your ovulation/basal body temperature/using ovulation tests to improve your chances every month.

I know there is often criticism here for would-be mothers over 40, but throughout history most women have still been having their final children well into their 40s, so I don’t think it is unrealistic or impossible, or even unusual.

I would recommend taking prenatal vitamins and male-focused vitamins for him, I swear by taking Co-Q10 supplements as well for both of you. Just anecdotal but my husband and I finally conceived after I went all out on vitamins and supplements for a few months prior, I am almost 40 and husband is mid 40s.

I had my DD just before I turned 42. I do think it's worth tracking ovulation with strips unless you're having sex every other day between end of period and beginning of period as the NHS suggests (we didn't have the energy!). My friend just had her second baby aged 48. Good luck, OP!

Thank you. I have been taking folic acid for the past couple of months and vitamin d for the past month or so. My partner doesn't take anything so I'm definitely going to look into that. Do you mind me asking what you and your husband took?

Thank you. I have bought some ovulation strips but I wasn't sure if it would make me more anxious ( as I have a history of anxiety). It would take the "guess work" out of though so I think I will try them next month if my AF comes x

@Firsttimehopful very happy to share what I think did make a bit of difference for us at least! We both took supplements daily for at least 6 months

I took:
Co-Q10 - there is some recent evidence that this does improve egg quality
Omega 3 DHEA
vitamin D
Pomegranate extract - recommended by a fertility dietitian
Selenium
Folic acid
Iron tablets
Magnesium
B12 - because my levels were a bit low

Melatonin 1mg every night - recent evidence suggests this has a positive impact on sperm and egg quality. Gives you trippy dreams though!

He took:
Multivitamin for men’s fertility
Tomato Lycopene - recommended to improve sperm quality
Magnesium

Melatonin 1mg every night

I know this looks a bit nuts but, as we had to do IVF for unrelated reasons, I found there was a difference between the number of embryos we managed to get to survive past 3 days during previous rounds, and after I went all out on the supplements.

Wow yes that's some list 😄 I'll look at the male supplement and the CO-q10 for me x

@Firsttimehopful yes it’s a bit ridiculous isn’t it? Oh also I forgot husband also took Co-q10, I really think that one made the biggest difference! Have you looked into basal body temperature tracking? It’s so easy and it really puts you in tune with your cycle.

No I haven't, how does it work?

@Firsttimehopful there are a few companies that offer paid subscriptions for basal body temping (BBT) but you can just do it yourself. I used Natural Cycles and would recommend them.

You need a basal body thermometer, which is like a regular electric thermometer but it measures your body temp to 2 decimal places rather than 1. So like 36.32 rather than 36.3. Right after you ovulate every month, within a few hours your body temp rises by about 0.3 - 0.6 degrees (due to the progesterone surge), and stays high until your period starts. Once you’ve charted when in your cycle you normally get your rise, you can predict exactly when you’re about to ovulate.

You might even get a tiny pre ovulation dip as well which will allow to be very accurate about when you will be most fertile. The apps that go along with the prescription services also will indicate to you when you are most fertile and have TTC settings.

I'll take a look at that. Thank you so much, you've been a lot of helpful and very kind. I'm tryin not to worry as it's only month one, but the mind can be your own worst enemy sometimes x

Gosh month one! It took us almost a year to get DC2 and I was early 30s.

if it were me I’d go straight to some sort of fertility assistance because I wouldn’t trust it to happen quickly and every month you wait makes it harder and harder

Hello, so I caved and did a test today. My period is due in 5 days (possibly 4 or even 6). It was negative. It was a cheap Morrison's own pink dye stick. Has anyone tested 5 days before and it was negatively for it to be positive later on?

Also how many times per month is "enough"? We dtd 4 times this month every 3 days, but not again for the last 8 days. Any advice please

I don't think the cheapie sticks will give you a result that early. FWIW I used Clearblue ovulation sticks, and we just did it as often as possible from about day 10 until a few days after ovulation.

it really varies as sperm can live for 5 days but the egg for 24 hours so really hard to say but good luck xx

I think you definitely need to be tracking ovulation and taking supplements, I recommend reading It starts with the Egg which gives also on supplements but also things to avoid that can be harmful to egg quality (BPA in food packaging, phthalates etc)

4 times every 3 days? I'm no expert but that doesn't sound like very much sex. Surely you need to do a bit more than that?

With kindness, @Firsttimehopful I think you need to be mindful that conceiving at any age, but especially once you are over 40, can be very difficult and you are unlikely to have success the first month you are trying.

Guidelines from various agencies recommend having sex at least once every 2 days around the time you ovulate, and tracking your fertile window to maximise your chances of success.

If the prospect of potentially wasting months and months, even years, trying naturally sounds too difficult, it may be worth seeking fertility treatment for potentially faster results. This is a very expensive and stressful route but many older would-be mothers (myself included) have found them eventually successful.

I'm 42 and currently 39 weeks pregnant with my first, conceived naturally. I know i'm very lucky as it only took us 2 months.

I did spend several months before that getting to know my cycle. I didn't use any tracking apps, but kept a spreadsheet of dates and symptoms and used Clear Blue digital ovulation sticks. We then made sure we were DDT in the 3-4 days leading up to when i expected ovulation.

I didn't take any special supplements apart from folic acid and vitamin D (i did start taking pregnacare conception but it made everything that came out of me florescent yellow so i stopped quite quickly as didn't like it!). Though i do think supplements are good to do as previous posts have suggested.

We also cut right down on alcohol, though didn't stop drinking completely just had the occasional drink, made sure diet was as healthy and varied as we could and tried to exercise more.

Best of luck OP!

Can anyone recommend a good prenatal vitamin complex? Or is it best to buy all vitamins separately? Plan to purchase Co-Q10 separately though, of course. I'm a 42 year old mum of two and hoping for a third!