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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Help!!

28 replies

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:48

Can someone please read my message to mum before i send it!!

"Hey. I need to talk to you about something important. It’s really hard for me to say this as I don’t want to disappoint you or add more stress onto you than I already have but I’ve found out that I’m pregnant. I know this probably won’t shock you but I’m feeling a lot of different things right now. I really want to talk about it with you because all i want is your support and you are the only person in the world i care about talking to about this or anything for that matter because your my mum. I know sometimes i can be selfish and i’m not always the best daughter but I do love you so much and all i want and need is your support. I understand if you’re upset or worried, disappointed or angry. I do apologise for it being a text but this was the best way for me to clear my head and for us to both take our time before talking. it also helps me format what i wanted to say and say it in the best way possible. "

Is this respectful? should i add anything else?

i'm so scared to tell her!

OP posts:
Tisthedamnseason · 27/01/2025 11:49

How old are you?

MoveToParis · 27/01/2025 11:49

What age are you?

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:49

i'm 20 in a few months!

OP posts:
MoveToParis · 27/01/2025 11:50

Have you decided what you want to do? Do you just need her to organize a termination?

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:50

@MoveToParis

I think i want to keep it, i've up all night and i don't think i could bring myself to terminate!

OP posts:
MoveToParis · 27/01/2025 11:51

What do you want to happen here?
Are you in education, working?

Where is the Dad?

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:51

@MoveToParis

Me and the dad are engaged and live together at his mums as we are saving for our own place!

i work full time

OP posts:
MoveToParis · 27/01/2025 11:53

Is he happy? Is this planned?
Can you (plural) afford a baby, or are you hoping that other people will make it possible for you?

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:54

@MoveToParis

He is very happy and wants it.

It would be tight financially but i cannot bring myself to get rid of it over that fact, i will do everything i can to provide for my child.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 27/01/2025 11:54

I thought you were going to say that you were 15 or something! 20, not living with your parents and employed is a completely different kettle of fish!

Admittedly, you are still pretty young, but if you're going to take responsibility for the baby, and aren't looking to your Mum for housing or finance then it's not really go that much to do with her, has it?

MoveToParis · 27/01/2025 11:55

In my opinion you need to carefully think this through. From you draft message I would have put you at about 15.

Why do you believe your mum will be disappointed. Is your fiancé a bit of a loser?

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:55

@TokyoSushi

Thank you!

No i just want my mums support because well she's my mum, i just want to talk to her about it and for her to be there throughout the pregnancy

OP posts:
TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:56

@MoveToParis

No he's not, my parents love him.

I just know my mum doesn't want me to pregnant until at least 2 years away

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 27/01/2025 11:56

Why won't she be pleased, is there another reason other than your age?

Mischance · 27/01/2025 11:56

It is a good message - well expressed. I would send it. Is the baby's Dad in the picture? - is there anything you could add about that maybe?

Try not to panic - these things have a way of working out somehow.

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:57

@Mischance

Yes my parents know and love the baby's dad, he's my fiance!

OP posts:
TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:57

@TokyoSushi

No just ny age and i guess my mum wants me to have my own house and married first yk!

OP posts:
LolaJ87 · 27/01/2025 11:59

Your draft message is great @TeenGirl2024 but you’re quite hard on yourself on it. I really hope your mum is happy for you and offers you some good support. I’m sure you’ll be a great mum yourself.

MomToBe2025xx · 27/01/2025 11:59

Hi lovely,
First of all congratulations!
I am 20 and currently 26 weeks pregnant, my mom found out when I was 6 weeks (sadly she found out accidentally before I was going to tell her) it took a few days but one day she came home with a baby grow and said shes going to be a nanny.
At first she was shocked, and scared for me. But she is now so excited.
I have my own house and me and my partner earn very well for our age, but even so, you do what you need to do for your baby.
At the end of the day you are still your moms baby, so she may be shocked, angry or scared but its because she loves you so much! She will come round to it x

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 11:59

@LolaJ87

Thank you!

That means the world to me

OP posts:
Mischance · 27/01/2025 12:00

Sorry - I missed a few posts.

Not so many years ago your scenario would have been seen as very positive. You are with someone - you love each other - you both want to keep the baby - all good.

It has become more the norm to delay pregnancies, but you are the perfect age for a healthy pregnancy and young enough to have lots of energy to bring up a child. Your housing circumstances are far from ideal, but you are in the same boat as so many other young people. I am sure your family will be excited and will welcome this new arrival and do all they can to help.

Acc0untant · 27/01/2025 12:02

Honestly I think it's quite juvenile in this instance to tell your mum you're pregnant via text message. You're asking for support, even just emotional support, I think you should be having this conversation face to face. A text message isn't the right way to do this.

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 12:33

@Acc0untant Trust me i would love to talk to my face to face but that's not an option for me as she lives in another country :/

OP posts:
Acc0untant · 27/01/2025 12:34

TeenGirl2024 · 27/01/2025 12:33

@Acc0untant Trust me i would love to talk to my face to face but that's not an option for me as she lives in another country :/

Then why not a phone or video call?

Dror · 27/01/2025 13:00

Just message that you and the father are thrilled to announce she's going to be a grandmother.
Don't slag yourself off or beg for approval. You're employed, an adult, and live in a different country.