7 and a half weeks

[cgwx]

Hey -

So i'm hoping for some advice but also some opinions too! Background story... been pregnant 3 times in the space of 12 months just over, 2 were chemicals and the 1 i lost at 9 weeks. We have found out I am pregnant end of November time. I tracked my progression with digitals to ensure it was heading in the right direction. Every week upped a week on the digital as planned. Stopped of course when i got to 3+. We're really hopefully it's a sticky bean and symptoms are still there that i had in the beginning or gotten stronger. I have had mild cramping which was worrying.

1. Wanted to know personally, would you at this point based on history pay for an early reassurance scan or see if you can get one via the NHS? (I'm in the UK for reference).

2. Any tips to manage Pregnancy Anxiety? I am constantly checking to see if i'm bleeding or worrying I am going to miscarry.

Thanks in Advance - C x

I really sympathise. I think if I were you then I'd get an early reassurance scan because of the miscarriage (sorry for your loss). I reckon you'll very likely need to pay because the NHS will only do an extra scan if you're actually having a specific problem like bleeding.

Managing early pregnancy anxiety? I've only been pregnant once but I coped by focusing on anything but the pregnancy. Fixating leads to anxiety (with anything, not just pregnancy). I hope you feel better soon x

I would (and did) pay for early scans. It's so worth it just to put your mind at ease.
I had terrible anxiety after IVF and an early loss so when I fell pregnant again, I had the IVF scan at 6 weeks then another at 8/9 weeks then the NHS one at 12 weeks.
Even at 8 or 9 weeks it's amazing how much you can see and the little arm and leg buds. Get the scan and enjoy your pregnancy 🙂

I had scans at 6 weeks, 8 weeks 9.5 weeks, 11 weeks (including NIPT testing), 12.5 weeks with the NHS and have one booked for just under 17 weeks. Also scanned myself at work last week. I would absolutely go for a reassurance scan!

Just to clarify 6,8,9.5 were private as no previous losses. I think EPU would scan with your history. Anxiety? For me I just didn’t talk about the pregnancy and tried to think about other things. Only now am I starting to believe he might get here okay but still very nervous for the 17 week scan in just under 2 weeks

@Feliciacat @Justnippinginthegaragelove @VetVetGoose Thank you all! this is all very helpful. I did think maybe the NHS would consider an early reassurance scan because of my history, HOWEVER NHS is on its knees and appts are so very strict aren't they; so then I feel like do I want to argue to get heard and cause more stress or just book myself and go. Husband said he wouldn't bother and just wait because what will be will be, but he is a male after all and doesnt go through half the stuff us women have to so easy to say from the side lines isnt it. I think i'm just worried about going to a private one, and then not being able to see through the stomach and then wanting to do vaginal and that frightens me. I know people who have bled after having a vaginal and then had to go back in to check they hadn't harmed foetus. And another one I worry about also is incase they find something and then I'm left with not knowing what to do and not having the after care that would be there if I had been scanned in EPU. Does that make sense?

I have literally told no family, at all. Not my mom or siblings for in laws. A couple of friends know because I was planning to see them over the festive periods and I of course wouldnt be drinking. So I told the people who would have just out right guessed when seeing me not drinking while im with them. It helps for a little support I guess when I need it and having anxieties. But overall I am absolutely trying not to think about it.

I have my first midwife appt on Tuesday afternoon, she's lovely and knows my history so hopefully that will be some help and reassurance.

C x

I’ve had 2 previous miscarriages and just called the EPU this time, explained and they booked me straight in for a 6 week reassurance and again next week for an 8 week follow up. Just a warning, mine have always been transvaginally at the EPU - possibly because they have been early, but it hasn’t ever been painful and I didn’t bleed after in this one (I’ve only bled when I’ve already been starting to miscarry and gone in due to spotting anyway).
if it helps to put your mind at ease definitely call them. I was told I could call after my first one too.
Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy 😊

I haven't had any previous miscarriages or losses and was still an anxious mess those early weeks. It's a tough time so definitely give yourself some grace OP. I ended up booking a private scan for when I thought I was 7 weeks (turned out I was closer to 8). I wanted to avoid it being 'too early' and have a stressful wait for another scan. It was absolutely worth it putting my mind at ease. Other than that, I've just had my NHS scans. I'm nearly 27 weeks now and feeling baby movements keeps the anxiety at bay but you bet I still check for bleeding every time I wipe - I think most people do tbh!
Book the scan if it'll give you reassurance and be super kind to yourself. I would also tell someone as having that support is completely invaluable particularly if the worst were to happen.

Sorry, I should have read more thoroughly. I see now that you have told people and I hope they're being super supportive 💗

@Lalalala77 Thank you for sharing your stories! I feel frightened by the blood. They always tell you not to worry about it but naturally we all know 80% of the time you see blood its an issue. Theres more sad stories than positive ones isn’t there where bleeding is concerned i think. I had abit of red today but wasn’t like my miscarry bleeds, it looked like a dark red small splat. But I have been struggling with constipation and wondering if its from that. You wipe you immediately think its coming from the vagina but when i went today its because i was struggling to lose my bowels and then the gates were open I've been like 3 times. I did not know about that with EPU, yours must be nicer than mine because ours will not really see you unless you have issues or bleeding. I have a lovely midwife who is the local for our area and she is aware of my situation so when I see her on Tuesday I’m hopeful she’ll put me at ease. But deep down i know nothing is going to make me feel at ease until i know everything is ok and only a scan will tell you that. My husband thinks they are a waste of money because in his opinion, the NHS should provide them for all women from 6/7 weeks for reassurance. But isn’t the case and won’t ever be I don’t think. Yes £70 isn't ideal this time of year but id rather put my mind at rest. He also said why don’t you wait and see what your midwife says Tuesday before you book anything which I feel im inclined to do incase she CAN give me one on the NHS in EPU. But if I pay I could go tomorrow. X

@MrsRandallFraser thank-you for also sharing your story. I guess aswell I feel private scans are more relaxed, they don’t rush, they take their time. Which will immediately put me at ease I think. So that was another reason i was leaning towards one. I am trying to be relaxed and calm, but reality is i am a worrier regardless and always have been. so that alone won’t help. But yes people who do know have been checking in which is what I need. x

The chances of seeing a heartbeat on an abdominal scan are quite low at an early stage - I think from 8-10 weeks that's more likely whereas transvaginally 7 weeks is more typical. They wouldn't do this if it caused harm, and having had them many many times (I had an ovary removed due to cysts a long time ago) I've never found them painful. It's uncomfortable, and I get that it can be awkward but I've never bled after and never felt pain.

I would probably factor this into your thinking if you're like me - if I went and the results were inconclusive I know I'd find that really difficult so I'd prefer to wait and know I'll see something rather than go and have to come back in a couple of weeks and then have that extra anxiety.

All my scans were abdominal and saw the heartbeat at 5+6 even. You can check your hCG as if it’s past a certain point you should be able to see the heartbeat

@Harriet1989 thanks for this! I’ve had 2 transvaginal scans and they both made me bleed. I’m not bothered by the awkwardness of them, but i don’t want to bleed. I’m now 8 weeks today so I’m going to wait and maybe book after Christmas for a private scan 😊. I think at this point i just want to know that everything is fine…

I had an abdominal scan at 7 weeks privately, after a prior missed miscarriage. Saw little embryo and heartbeat.
It was so worth it for me.
It doesn't help anxiety much, as you worry again as soon as you're out of the room. However, it was reassuring to know that probability was high all would be OK this time around.

Hi All - wanted to update! I paid for that private scan. I just felt it was the right thing to do. I’m glad I went… they were very thorough and put me at ease. I saw baby and heart beat. everything looked fine. Wish I could go back every week until 12 weeks, but at £75 a time bank balance says nope ha.

Congratulations @cgwx what a perfect scan!

I’m so relieved for you! Congratulations! What a great Xmas present!

I did pay for an early reassurance scan around that time and it was magical to hear the baby's heart beating!
I also wanted to know how many babies and check not eptopic.

Aww congratulations, that's a lovely picture! You can relax and enjoy Christmas now 🙂

thank you all! I definitely feel better now and more reassured. Of course I could still miscarry, but they said everything was looking normal and they could see heart beat flickering away. I feel les anxious. I still check when I wipe for blood but I don't feel as nervous not knowing if everything is ok or not. Perfect little Christmas Present. Husband feels like it's more real now to which is nice.

yes i think for your own sanity it's worth every penny. I also wanted to check for etopic and things like that. Its only a quick 15 minute appt but its worth every penny isn't it to get clarification on the things your most worried about.

update - Has anyones symptoms ever started to drop a little around 8 weeks? I've noticed my stomach aches / sickness has stopped. boobs are still hurting or tingling on and off and i'm still getting the odd cramping. Wondering if i need to go for another scan or whether to wait it out a little. I also really don't fancy paying another £75... what do you think? I think I have become over cautious now because i was in this position before 9.2 weeks I lost my last baby, didnt know until 12 weeks.

Hmm. I went to emergency gynaecology at six weeks because my symptoms had gone. They told me that my symptoms going was not a concern as it's normal for them to fluctuate. Unfortunately I did go on to miscarry a few days later despite emergency gynaecology finding everything to be ok when they tested and examined me.

So the medical opinion is that symptoms going is not a concern but my anecdotal experience is that mothers just know sometimes. Could you wait to have a scan until after pay day (presumably no later than a week's time)? As awful as it sounds, if you have miscarried then there's nothing that can be done. So if the £75 is a concern then maybe a compromise could be to have another scan but only after pay day?

I really hope you and your baby are ok. I imagine it probably is fine as symptoms really can come and go. I do also believe in mother's intuition though.

My symptoms dropped off around 8 weeks, that's what prompted me to get a private scan. In my mind I was 99% sure I'd lost the baby, but everything was fine!
I know it's so so hard, but try and distract yourself and just get through one day at a time until your next scan.

update - thanks both. Symptoms actually kicked me up the arse terribly the day after i posted about the symptoms dropping. Sickness isnt as bad now. I guess i wish i could just get scanned every week to be reassured but i also know its not realistic. I considered having another private one at around 11 weeks, then hospital one is scheduled for week 13 and then do a private gender one so my 2 other kids can be apart of that with us. Xxx