Due December 2024 please help

[Sammie9212]

So just to start this of this is for no other reason except general curiosity. Just pretty confused that’s all.
i went for a dating scan that showed I was 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant on the 12th of June this year then I had my 12 week scan a week later and both said my due date is the 30th of December this year.
now my dilemma here is I had sex on the 10th of April and that’s the only time I had sex in like the space of a month so that’s my only possible date I could of got pregnant. but everything I put in on conception calculators and everything come up with the 8th of April or earlier then that. So what I got pregnant from thin air apparently?? Haha just doesn’t add up to me. I have pcos and an irregular cycle so no idea when my last period was around that time.

That’s the thing my due dates always been consistent all the way through they’ve never even considered changing it that’s what I’m confused about and me and this baby’s dad are both small like short in height so chances of him being a tall child is unlikely haha

So you said your due date was given at the early scans. Did you know your due date prior to this?

No I didn’t even know I was pregnant till my dating scan came around it’s only because I got a uti and the doctor wanted me to do a pregnancy test because of some symptoms I was having that I even found out and I was already 11 weeks 2 days by this point according to the dating scan then I had another 12 week scan a week later and they both gave me the same due date

I think the key thing here is you are trying to use the scans to date conception, but they are based on the first day of your last period.

If your due date is 30th December then they're estimating your last period started on 25th March. When people ovulate varies wildly, but assuming you only had sex on 10th then you must have ovulated around 8th-12th April. That means you ovulated around cycle days 14-18 which sounds perfectly sensible. There's no way of narrowing it down any further just from dates as both the egg and the sperm hang around for a few days.

If a conception calculator is giving you the 8th that's the best guess based on regular cycles, which you don't have. At best it's accurate +/- two days, at worst it's totally wrong! I can't see how that would be more accurate than personalised scans that have remained consistent, so I'd go by that!

Isn’t it possible for the egg and sperm to meet the same day you have sex as long as your ovulating that day?

So that means on the day you attended the scan, that's what your baby measured. You do not know your last period so therefore you do not know when you ovulated. Conception calculators assume ovulation on day 14 (and even at that they're unreliable.) You have irregular cycles and PCOS so you have no idea or any way of knowing when you ovulated. Therefore it makes the calculation null and void. Does this make sense?

But every pregnancy is different so you won’t necessarily have an identical experience with second and third babies.

The Flo app where I’d been tracking ovulation, sex and cycles estimated my due date to be the 26th September. A private scan, my scan in EPU and then my NIPT scan at 10 weeks estimated the 27th September. A week later, my 12 week scan estimated the due date to be 5th October. The sonographer was struggling with getting measurements due to the baby’s position so they said to come back in 2 weeks time for a repeat scan. That scan put my EDD as 29th September. Baby turned up on the 14th September. I had very regular 28 day cycles too.

EDD is exactly what is says: an estimate rather than a definite. Lots of things will have impacted its calculation, from when the baby implanted to the sonographer’s skillset and position of the baby on the day of your scan.

It just confused me when I kept reading about other women as well I’m on a group on Facebook December 2024 babies and the ones with the same due date as me they all conceived somehow between 31st march and 7th of April then there’s me that’s out of that bracket it just didn’t add up

It's uncommon to know when you conceived or to even discuss conception date. So they're probably wrong.

But you're also not listening to what I'm saying. You have PCOS and don't know when you ovulate. Every woman ovulates at a different point in their cycle, so you won't be the same as those other women.

Conception (where sperm meets egg) happens within 24 hours of ovulation. Sperm can live in the body for 5 days. You see how it's so variable?

Is your partner questioning you or not believing when you conceived?

But if your ovulating the same day that you have sex then the sperm and the egg could meet that day so it would mean date of conception is the day you have sex right?

No, so you can get pregnant approximately 5 days before and 1 day after ovulation. You don't know that the day you ovulated was the day you had sex because you weren't tracking ovulation.

now this conception calculators giving me my date that I did have sex but it also says possible at the bottom so what’s that supposed to mean??

So I wouldn’t have even got pregnant on the 10th??

Yes of course.
But were you ovulating on that day.
If you ovulated a few days later then any sperm hanging around would fertilise the egg. Sperm can hang around for 3 days.
( of note female sperm survives longer than male )

I’ve got to have been ovulating on that day cause if I wasn’t that would make my due date way out then if it’s any later then the 10th

I think everyone here has tried their best to explain it in more than enough detail. You're either not understanding or not accepting the information given. You're seriously obsessing at this point so all I can advise is to just accept that dates are not an exact science and enjoy the last couple of weeks of your pregnancy.

Please I’ve got a learning disability and severe mental health I’m not trying to be annoying I just don’t know 😭 and I can’t help but obsess over things it’s part of my mental health I don’t just obsess over the pregnancy I obsess over everything

Suggest you talk to your midwife for confirmation of everything MNs have explained here.
Dates are not set in stone, they can’t be completely accurate. That’s life I’m afraid.

And I’m having a boy so that means like the previous poster said female sperm live longer then male sperm so that would mean it didn’t take long for me to conceive

I'm sorry OP. I think it might be best to discuss with your midwife because it's easier to speak in person than typing it out as it can be a bit complicated. I'm finding it hard to explain it in another way for you.

Dates aren't an exact science. If you had sex 10th April maybe you ovulated the 11th April. The sperm would still be there alive and waiting for your egg. Then it takes some time to travel down and implant.

Also, some babies are smaller than average, some are bigger. So when you had a scan between 11 and 12 weeks, your little baby measured certain millimetres = 12 weeks on their charts. But at the end of the day it is an estimate. It does not mean it was conceived exactly X number of days and weeks ago. It's all estimates.

Are you getting enough mental health support from your maternity care provider? Definitely think about asking for more input if you feel you need it x

The dates and ranges are approximate. You will probably have this baby between 15.12 and 101. That's a range of normal.

You really need to stop wishing for exactitude. Birth and babies don't respond to it.

Good luck.

I understand
so what your saying is yeah my scan could of said I’m due on the 30th of December due to measurements but actually I could be due on the 1st 2nd or even 4th of January if your pushing the boat out?

It says on my scan photo what he measured 44.8mm

Yes. 'Due' is still just a guide. So that's why full term is defined as 37-42 weeks. It's the range of normal considering bodies are all so different.

Absolutely and then of course babies very rarely arrive on their due date.