Due February 2025 - Thread 4

[UrbanSquirrel]

Just creating this so that we have somewhere to continue when Thread 3 fills up. If you're due to have a baby in February 2025 (or late January or early March, as we have a wide spread!), come join us for support, advice and (at present) some really useful Black Friday recommendations! Big welcoming hugs to all the usual suspects coming over from Thread 3 🤗

@UrbanSquirrel semi on that topic... I was looking at getting some Always Discreet for postpartum. Anyone more experienced than me - do I need disposable underwear and maternity pads or just one or the other? Despite my best intentions I have yet to start packing a hospital bag 🙃

@superj21 Hmm, good point, hadn't thought about postpartum for incontinence... how long after postpartum were you thinking? Because if in the first six weeks, we were told at NCT to use special maternity pads and not standard sanitary pads, because the latter have some kind of gel in them which can cause thrush when your vulva area is very tender and irritated. And that can then be passed on to the baby when breastfeeding and it all sounded rather unpleasant.

After six weeks, I get the impression that we can pretty much do what we want.

I am not experienced, but I've bought disposable knickers and maternity pads (I'm currently in the panicking, 'argh! Buy everything!' mode). Something else that NCT threw up is the sheer number of maternity pads we might need. Our group leader said that in the first few days we could be getting through as many as 16 PER DAY 😱

@superj21 my no nonsense pals said sod the maternity pads and go for the adult pants! Much safer, comfier and hold far more!!!

Her other purchase advice was ‘disinfectant wipes for the maternity ward’ as ‘some women in labour are disgusting’ - told you she was no nonsense but loves a frilly babygrow!!! It was not what I was expecting her to say 🤣

@UncharteredWaters Which pants did your friend recommend? I haven't seen any period-pant style maternity pants, just the disposal cotton ones that you wear with the added pads.

Good recommendation on the disinfectant wipes!!!

@UrbanSquirrel I was thinking just for the blood and whatnot rather than incontinence! Sixteen maternity pads a day is WILD!! I never really need more than a liner for a period so I can't comprehend that 😅.

@UncharteredWaters that's good intel 😂 I did actually see detox wipes on another hospital checklist as well!

@superj21 Yep, the room definitely went quiet when she said that. She said, "Even if you have heavy periods, this is likely to be in a different league." It sounded... dramatic.

Maybe one of the gang here who already has kids can share their experience?

@UncharteredWaters @superj21 @UrbanSquirrel I personally found post birth bleeding wasn’t THAT bad last time, other than dragging on for 7 weeks! I was using big thick maternity pads for about a week then moved over to sanitary pads for about a fortnight then was onto pantyliners; I got told after a couple of weeks to go to normal sanitary pads as that way you can tell if there’s an abnormal amount of blood (because you’d have contextual knowledge of what a sanitary pad should be able to hold).

I did have a 1.7L PPH last time so not sure if that’s relevant to the post birth bleeding, but it definitely wasn’t unmanageable! I’ve got some boots adult nappies at home for if it’s worse this time but hoping to get away with maternity pads again (and a pro tip with maternity pads: you can see them through every single item of clothing you wear because they’re so bulky! My friend wore leggings to leave hospital and was filled with regret!)

Midwife and mum of two here 🙋🏻‍♀️

If you’re soaking SIXTEEN maternity pads a day please seek medical advice! That’s not normal.

I have heavy periods and I would say my bleeding was about on par. I changed my pad pretty much before or after every breastfeed, partly because I drank so much water (the thirst is real!) and also it just meant if I got stuck under a baby I had an empty bladder! Breastfeeding makes your womb contract so you can bleed a bit more when feeding. I had an infection after my daughter and I still didn’t get anywhere near 16 pads! I also quickly went to boots ultra thin ones, much comfier albeit needed a bit more regular changing because of the thinness but much nicer. After my son I don’t really remember a huge amount of bleeding! Nothing more than a heavy period.

Genuinely if 16 pads a day are being soaked through that’s a sign of concern! That’s almost one an hour! 😳

I think I'm more worried about having to wear maternity pads/pants than any other aspect of this whole birth thing. Sorry for the overshare, but even just the thought of wearing proper knickers rather than one of my trusty black thongs fills me with dread, and that's before you add a pad. All that fabric rustling about, bunching up, and riding up back there - unbearable!
I know, I AM ridiculous😂But I can only think I have a differently shaped backside from 99% of the population. I've filled an M&S basket with different styles of pants to try on and this weekend will undertake the quest for something passably comfortable. Ideas welcome! I wonder about trying boy shorts but I've no idea if I can put a pad in them - does anyone know? I've also no idea whether someone with my particular affliction would find tena-lady type pants more tolerable or worse - they look quite expensive for something I may end up flinging across the room in disgust. Then again, natracare pads have no wings which sounds like leaks are inevitable.
Maybe the answer is to shut the curtains, whack the heating up, and walk around starkers with a lot of kitchen roll to hand and some towels on the sofa😂

Has anybody completed their hospital bag as of yet? I'm 30+4 and not sure when to start washing clothes and sterilizing dummies 🥹😬

@apple67cherry haven't even started the hospital bag! I've got a list but that's just pixels in my computer. I'm 31+6, and soon I have to go to France for 3 weeks for work. Hopefully baby will sit tight for a while yet.

@OrangeSlices998 THANK YOU for that! I've been worrying a bit about that ever since she said it, and also fretting that my hospital bag is going to be so full of pads there's no room for anything else. Seriously. Thank you 🙏🏻 x

Thank you for the tip about the leggings!! They're all I wear these days and I genuinely would have never thought of that. Going to buy some extremely long t shirts that will totally cover my pad bulk.

Oh yes 16 pads a day sounds ridiculous. As others have said, I did get bleeding heavier than my period but I still only used around 5 pads a day I think! And this only lasted for a few days then I switched to smaller ones. I didn't know you couldn't use normal sanitary towels and I did use them, so maybe take all of this advice with a pinch of salt.

These are the maternity pads that were recommended to me. They were big but did the job!

amzn.eu/d/fKzxefl

@QuantumPanic Also recommending tunics over leggings, if you don't mind looking like a bohemian art teacher of a certain age. Got a Seasalt one in a charity shop and actually it'll be perfect for covering up lumps, bumps and pad outlines 😉 I shall have to style it out with chunky necklaces in honour of Mrs Bryant, art teacher of fond memory...

@Redapple21 Again, this is hugely reassuring. For a start, it means I don't have to buy all that many more packs of the darn things... The info on the gel thing was also from NCT so I had assumed it was reliable but I'm sure @OrangeSlices998 or others will be able to advise us on that.

Thanks for the link!

I think I’m getting old as I refuse to wear a thong anymore I find them so uncomfortable with my big bum 😂 I’ve been wearing full briefs recently they go right over my bump! Sexy? No. But comfy, oh yeah!

Sanitary pads, didn’t know about the gel, they don’t have gel in surely? I’ll admit ignorance there. They can often have a coating on them, and it can irritate as they’re meant to keep you feeling dry during your period which is fine but post birth we don’t want dry and possibly chaffed vulvas! I’d avoid always or the like, and go for maternity pads.

These are the ones I’ve used for two births now, once we were over the worst of the bleeding the day of & after birth I abandoned the giant pads SO UNCOMFY!

www.boots.com/boots-ultra-slim-maternity-towels-12s-10291542?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc--LIAs---_-pmax_mother%26baby__gg_shopping__lia___pmedia&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAA-AdmwSpdWh-aQ0a5Ed2lsSdkQlhN&gclid=Cj0KCQiAu8W6BhC-ARIsACEQoDAv6k61kLCXU1BqvXN8O3Q1Vkcc6FnOEe1Zqpus1FpIRGURGSs7_NQaAh0TEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Awesome @OrangeSlices998 thanks for the Boots link. They look much more manageable than the aircraft-carrier-sized Lil-lets ones I have at present...

Yes +1 on the thank you for this link! I also panic bought both massive maternity pads and disposable underwear (went with Frida brand for both after getting some recommendations), but feel like I want some lighter ones for after the initial deluge 😅 Especially because I live in leggings!!

And thank you for the updates on the health visitor @UrbanSquirrel ! Glad it all went well, you definitely hear horror stories. We have a virtual appointment next week, which is making me nervous- do I need to clean the house because they’ll ask to be walked round?! Very unclear

@EastLondonCoffeeFiend I guess it may differ depending on trusts, but ours just sat in our living room and chatted to us. Slightly annoying as we really had tidied up and I'd finally got DH to move his WFH stuff out of the nursery... But I guess it's a bit unfair to ask to be shown the nursery at this point as most people won't yet have got it sorted. Maybe they'll ask to see where the baby is sleeping after it's born?

Her visit was primarily to see how they can help us. Eg, do we have secure jobs, will we need any financial help or advice, what benefits or vouchers might we be eligible for, do we have any health conditions they need to be aware of, etc. For example, I flagged that I take medication for anxiety, so she has a note for that so she can look out for me postpartum to make sure everything is OK.

I was really impressed with her actually. And she was just nice and normal and around our age, so I can imagine I'd feel comfortable giving her a call if I had any worries or questions.

But let us know how your appointment goes, because it would be interesting to see how different areas deal with things differently. And we're on opposite sides of London, so there isn't likely to be any crossover!

Chiming in here because I just love the maternity pad chat and postpartum bleeding - everyone has such wildly different experiences 😂

I have heavy periods (we’re talking clots the size of the palm of my hand earlier this year before falling pregnant - anything that size postpartum would be a rush back to triage job!) and naturally first time around I was terrified when I was told the bleeding would be heavier after giving birth. First time around the heaviest bleeding was similar to a normal period but only for the first 24 hours or so. After that it slowed right down and was much better than a period for me. It did drag on longer than a period though (10 days or so?) but my experience with “lochia” is that it is different - it has a very different smell to a period (not particularly unpleasant, but very distinctive) and for me faded to a sort of yellowy colour after a few days which I imagine is related to the wound from the placenta healing up. My first placenta was removed manually in theatre after giving birth as it didn’t come out on its own, so I think they must have done a very tidy job of cleaning it all out! Second time round the bleeding was slightly heavier and the cramps were worse when breastfeeding (dreading the cramps third time round!) but again it was only for a couple of days and no worse than a period for me. It slowed right down again a fizzled out over about 10 days.

In terms of pads, whilst the big maternity pads look ghastly, I preferred them as everything down below was feeling very delicate and the big pads were a nice cosy cushion against stitches. Top tip is spritzing the pad with Frida Mom witch hazel foam - it is so soothing on the stitches! I absolutely hated using the disposable knickers or adult nappy type pads as I felt robbed off all dignity and quite grim wearing those, so I stuck to my big granny pants which I would usually wear on my period with the pads.

With health visitors, my experience was different as first baby was born April 2020 so he has literally never seen a health visitor. Second baby was 2021 and he had one HV appointment at home when he was a week old, and a second one at a clinic at 6 weeks where we were signed off and we haven’t had any since. The home appointment after giving birth was mainly around how I was feeling, how feeding was going and she did ask where baby was sleeping at night although never asked to see any of the house. We just sat on the sofa, had a cup of tea and she was lovely. I think this time round I will decline the service, although I can see for FTM it could be a useful source of support and advice. The main thing is it is a good check to ensure babies are in a safe environment but I doubt they are interested in nurseries and how tidy things are - they will have seen all ends of the spectrum and not having a nursery ready definitely doesn’t mean anything in terms of parenting. ☺️

Many thanks for that very helpful and practical advice @sohomum18! Yep, I'm sure few of us expected to be having a detailed discussion about postpartum bleeding this morning 😂... but honestly it is SO helpful for those of us who don't know what to expect.

Yes, totally get what you say about health visitors and makes total sense - I think, for me, it's definitely the first-time-mum thing: feeling a little bit overwhelmed by everything, and assuming that if the house is tidy when anyone 'official' comes to visit, it shows that (in contrast to what I feel inside) I genuinely am a functioning adult 😜