Struggling with pregnancy after loss

[Gratefulbutstruggling]

I’m over the moon to be pregnant again after 2 losses in the last year. I have been given clexane injections, progesterone and aspirin. I’m so grateful for the extra precautions but I’m finding it all very overwhelming and feel like it’s overriding how happy I am to be pregnant, which I feel really guilty about.

The aspirin is fine, the progesterone isn’t nice but I’m coping ok with it but I’m really struggling with the clexane. I’m bruising horribly every time I do it and I’m really anxious about having to do it for the rest of my pregnancy. My stomach is sore and it’s going to be much worse when I actually get a bump and everything starts getting harder.

On top of all of this I’m anxious about the pregnancy itself. I’m under doctor led care at EPU and being seen every two weeks but because of my previous losses I can’t stop worrying.

Does anyone have any advice on how to make the clexane more bearable, and with how to try and relax a bit with pregnancy after losses? Thank you x

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say how amazing you’re doing, it’s a lot to go through and you’re doing great! I hope someone can ease the symptoms for you to make this bit more bearable and wish you all the luck possible 🍀

Thank you so much, that’s really kind!

I was in a similar position to you earlier this year, and put on aspirin, progesterone and Fragmin (I think very similar to Clexane) after recurrent miscarriages. On the concern about injecting into your bump - I was told it’s fine to inject into your thigh instead. I found it hurt and bruised less there. But do check with your doctor or midwife!

Pregnancy after loss is really tough. I wasn’t able to relax until A LOT further into the pregnancy but I did find the book Pregnancy After Loss by Zoë Clarke-Coates helpful for feeling a bit more positive and less alone in the worry.

It sounds like you’re getting the best possible care. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy.

That’s good to know about the option of injecting into the thigh instead. My doctor did mention it but said it’s more painful, but the thought of injecting into a solid bump makes me cringe.

I actually do have the PAL book, I started reading it during my last pregnancy but packed it away when I lost the baby. Now might be a good time to get it back out again though, thank you for reminding me!

Sorry to hear about your losses OP. If it helps to hear from others, I have been doing IVF for years and had two previous losses, but now in my third pregnancy and at 31 weeks now!

The first trimester was really hard, and I also found all the medication hard going. I found it helpful to try and think of it as something I was doing to reduce the risks of miscarriage. And hopefully you don't need to take it the whole pregnancy? Although I am now on a load of other medication: omeprazole, iron, fybogel... but not as bad as the injections.

There is a good thread with people who are pregnant after loss, really supportive, I'm finding it helpful:

Pregnancy after loss part 3 - www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5202885-pregnancy-after-loss-part-3

I was prescribed Clexane to fly with a broken leg, so not pregnancy related. I also bruised horribly, but I began experimenting with doing it at different times of day. The bruising was worse if I did it in the day time and then put clothes on, as the waistband of trousers would rub on the injection site and cause huge bruises. I found doing it at night before bed minimised the bruising. Also rub an ice cube on the injection site first to numb it a little, and whatever you do, do not rub it after, even if it stings! Take some deep breaths for 30 seconds. I really sympathise with you - I was on them for two weeks and it was unpleasant.

I can’t comment on the medicines but I am also really struggling with being pregnant after a 16 week loss. Just feel in limbo and like I can’t believe it’s happening until we get our blood tests back etc.

when I tell people I always end up saying ‘we don’t know if it’s actually happening yet’ and it’s just so sad.

I miss being naive.

I see other people posting stuff like ‘see you in June’ to their baby and I can’t help but think ‘how are you so confident?’ I want to just get pregnant and just expect a baby at the end.

I was in the same position as you before. After 4 miscarriages, I was a on all of those medications with my 5th (and only successful) pregnancy.
I found there was a knack with the injections, pinching skin around the belly button where it's more thin so I couldn't feel the needle as much once the skin was pinched. But it's still going to hurt a lot of days as you're doing it daily for so long. I think I was on the injections from about 7 weeks pregnant until around 10 weeks post-partum. It was a lot! But I had a blood clotting issue so I had no choice but to accept it...
What got me through, was the thought that I'm doing this for my baby and I would do anything for the hope of having a successful pregnancy. It might be worthwhile speaking to your midwife or a nurse about the injections to get some advice on where & how to inject them to help reduce the pain.
With regards to the anxiety, I'll be honest... That won't fully go. As the pregnancy progresses, you lose anxiety of miscarriage but then a whole new world of worries crop up. However, as the pregnancy continues, and as you pass certain milestones, you will find so much joy and excitement in new feelings and sensations and realisation that this could finally be the time you have a baby in your arms at the end of this pregnancy.
It's a total rollercoaster! Just know that you're doing absolutely amazing! You've gone through so much loss and you're still fighting a daily hidden battle despite the grief you still feel. You are so strong! Everything will be worth it. Take it day by day. Please try soak up the moments of joy and excitement that come to you, before worry and anxiety seep in...
Everything you are doing and every sacrifice you make is for your baby, and that makes you an incredible Mother. And that is exactly what you are... your baby isn't in your arms yet, but you are a Mother. Not everyone will understand your painful journey, but you are seen ♥️🙏🏻

After 3 miscarriages, I was anxious through the whole pregnancy. Immensely happy but anxious.

I was also on Clexane and lots of other medicines. I would just inject it on the love handles or wherever you have the most fat. I would put an ice pack before and after the injection to get less bruising.

Pregnancy after loss is always tough, I’ve had 4 losses, have 2 DC and am 16 weeks pregnant and still finding it tough. All I can say helped me in my pregnancies is to try and keep busy, focus on one day at a time. You can’t help but worry, it’s natural but you’re doing great. Each little hurdle is one step closer.

As for the injections as pp says can you inject into the thigh, might make you cringe a bit less.

Hi, my last baby (now 3) was after two losses and I found the first 12 weeks really long and full of anxiety: my anxiety peaked at the weeks where I lost the two previously.

Sadly the only advice is take each week as they come: I never looked too far into the future. Once we got past the 12 week scan I worked on 2 week increments and after 20 weeks it did start to get better. I had growth scans from 25 weeks due to risk factors and stop being terrified of the scans at that stage.

I have had clexane from 12 weeks with three pregnancies it does get easier. With this baby I don’t even blink with it anymore

i found it less sore the bigger the bump

Thank you for all the kind replies, so sorry to hear that so many people have been through similar but also pleased for those of you who had successful pregnancies!

I’m trying to take it day by day and focusing on the fact these painful/inconvenient things for me are doing (hopefully) a good job of keeping my baby heathy. I’m starting to feel wiped out with sickness that’s constant day and night but hoping it’ll ease up after the 12 weeks 🤞🏼

Hi

I wanted to say you're not alone. I've just found out I'm pregnant via IVF. It's before my official test date and I'm so nervous. We've had 5 rounds of IVF and 8 embryos transferred in total. This is the only one that's resulted in pregnancy. In between all the IVF we had a natural pregnancy that I lost at 5w3d. I was so scared then, the shock of being pregnant made me feel completely doolally but now every symptom I have, every time I pee I'm like a mad woman checking if I'm bleeding or questioning if I'm having a miscarriage.

I've wanted this for so long and it's supposed to be a happy and exciting time and yet all I feel is dread of what comes next, how will I cope if I lose this one. The daily questioning of am I still pregnant?

I'm trying not to test and trying to hang on to the fact that this was a healthy good looking embryo and there's no reason why I would miscarry.

Sending love