Declining antenatal care

[Casuallydresseddeepinconversation]

I've declined midwife appts,I had a call last week to try and change my mind and another today,I feel coerced and bullied,patronised and ignored,I'm 20 weeks today and just want to be left alone, considering not going to my 20 week scan now too, the 13 week one wasn't a pleasant experience either and I feel very anti NHS,tho I don't have funds for complete private care, just feeling very emotional atm

What are your plans for the birth?
Have you considered a birth doula? Mine advocated for me during my first's birth in a midwife led centre and actually delivered my second during an unplanned home birth.

I have this BP machine, and it works well. As a T2 diabetic, I use a continuous glucose monitor but you can buy ones that work off a finger prick of blood.

OP, you are at a higher risk because of your age. Any expectant mother who is aged over 35 is classed as a “geriatric pregnancy” or I think they call it Advanced Maternal Age now.

Over 40 and you’re supposed to get consultant-led care.

So you’re very definitely in the higher risk group, and almost in the consultant-led group.

I had no problems with my pregnancy. Working long hours, playing sport, all fine. And then I attended a routine appt - pre-eclampsia. I was admitted to hospital and went into early labour at 32 weeks. The shock was unreal! No history of it in my family, either.

We were in SCBU for several weeks and although it was mainly premature babies in there, we also saw regular term babies arrive. The parents often looked in a daze - with a premature baby you know there’s a good chance of SCBU, but when you’ve had a normal term pregnancy, you don’t expect it.

Talking to those parents, some of the birth stories were terrifying. A home birth is all fine…until it’s not. And things can change so rapidly, not being in a hospital is just a huge risk. Many of the term babies that came in probably would have died if they’d been at home because they nearly all had stories of sudden complications.

I’m a bit of a hippy and hate hospitals so I understand the appeal of home births. But having seen what I did, just never. Things can change so rapidly and why risk the life of your baby?!

If you have the money, how about having a doula with you in hospital? They can completely transform the hospital birthing experience.

I had a healthy pregnancy; had I not gone to my 36 week appointment and subsequent growth scan my baby would have died.

I had both NHS scans and private scans. The private ones are nicer settings obviously but the scan itself was probably no different to the NHS one and if there's an issue you'll get referred back into the NHS anyway so might be worth keeping your money and sticking with the NHS scans and tests that you choose to have.

Of course it's your decision. While posters might not like it, it sounds like you are fully aware of the consequences of making it – i.e. social services getting involved.

However, in all this talk about your body, your autonomy, how you want to proceed, your baby sounds forgotten. Who is advocating for their health as you proceed to term?

Are you saying you think they wouldn't take advantage of pregnancy healthcare if it were available to them? I really do find that hard to believe.

It’s your choice of course but … you say you are intelligent, so please explain how the risk of your baby dying - however small you may consider it - is worth taking over the inconvenience or annoyance of some ante natal appointments with perhaps not brilliant staff.

I'm really struggling to understand this. Just on a risk benefit basis, why wouldn't you do the appointments. The downside risk you're protecting against by going to the checks is absolutely catastrophic, so even if the probability is small, I'd still do the checks. What exactly is the benefit of not doing them? Occasionally some midwives are dickheads, that's kind of all I'm coming up with. I endured those occasionally annoying appointments because I didn't really think it was all about me and my comfort.

You can feel very well and have pre-eclampsia; or any number of other things going wrong, which you cannot possibly monitor (and which used to cause maternal and infant death before we were able to monitor for them). And where are you having the baby? You will need a midwife in attendance wherever that is, and a home birth must be agreed to by your doctors. So what are you planning?

I have always felt perfectly healthy. 1st baby was perfectly healthy too. 2nd baby was born with a genetic condition and a serious heart condition. You feeling healthy doesn't mean anything!

My pregnancy with my son at my last midwife appointment she listened to his heart beat and it was very slow. Sent straight to hospital had a scan there was restricted blood flow through the cord and I had to have him later that day. I had no symptoms no reduced movement. Had I not been to that midwife appointment things could have been ended badly x

This, I despair at the attitude of the OP and her cheerleaders on here. 'Yay you go girl put that baby at risk, that's your RIGHT and don't let anyone tell you different!'...

Oh ffs!!! grow up, you sound like an immature wee lassie. It's not just about YOUR needs/wants.

Declining Antenatal checks to make sure the baby is healthy does flag you up to social services.
You might feel fine, but your baby may not be and there's no way of knowing without checking.
Even before all these scans, women were monitored to make sure baby and Mum were ok.
The rates of maternal and neonatal deaths are reduced by monitoring.

Hi OP, I can completely understand you wanting to feel like you have control over your decisions, after all this is your pregnancy and your baby! We are extremely lucky in the U.K. to be supported by the Human Rights act and you should exercise your right to bodily autonomy! Ideally you would already be supported in a way that made you feel that you were in control and your care was personalised but I suspect that due to your post this is not currently the case. My biggest piece of advice is to see if there is a consultant midwife at your hospital - a consultant midwife can work with you to create a plan bespoke to your wishes even if that plan says ‘I decline all hands on care’ 😉the important part of this is that the consultant midwife will spend time with you, getting to know and understand you and will also explain everything to you so that you can make a fully informed decision. This service and care exists in lots of NHS trusts, you sometimes just need to know who to ask for. Midwives are experienced caring for so many women like you so you are not alone. There’s no such thing as one size fits all. All the best 😊

Instead of declining the checks and care, you could empower your knowledge. I'm not saying you're not knowledgeable as I don't know you but I mean doing the positive birth company course as it'll empower you to know your rights and the medical science behind things so if you feel pressurised in a certain situation you have the knowledge to feel empowered with your decision. I hope that makes sense. It helped me when I was being pressurised into having a sweep and induction when I knew I didn't want one and I had the knowledge to know I was happy with my choice. And all was absolutely fine!

I’ve just gone through my 3rd pregnancy. First 2 were textbook. At 29w I had a weird twinge. Turned out to be nothing but while I was there the nurse did a swab. It confirmed I was highly likely to give birth within the next 48 hours.

I amazingly got to 31w before my waters broke. Labour didn’t start on its own so I was monitored closely for signs of infection. The major worry was me/baby getting sepsis. I needed blood & urine tests to check my infection markers. If I had left it until I was feeling unwell before seeking medical help it could have been too late.

I ended up having a c-section at 35w because my placenta wasn’t working properly - something which could only be checked via a scan. During my c-section I was told a natural labour was likely to have caused my uterus to rupture putting both me & my baby in danger.

Had it not been been for the amazing care I got at my hospital & consultant (I was moved to a specialist one for very premature babies at 29w) I dread to think what the outcome could have been. My point is, I FELT fine but clearly stuff was going on which only the antenatal tests could have picked on. Thats why they are there - to protect to both of you.

You or the baby could die. Especially so if there is no health professional in attendance.

In 1963, years before scans were in routine use, my elder sister almost died when the placenta detached a couple of weeks before her third baby was due. She collapsed at home and was only saved because her husband came home for lunch very soon after to find her lying in a pool of blood. Their son died. These things happened quite frequently before it was possible to check on the baby in the womb. To take this kind of risk unnecessarily, when you have two other children to consider as well as the baby, seems hugely unwise.

I had a friend like you 3rd baby healthy women rang me at 10pm at night to say not felt the baby move told her to go straight to hospital she didn’t want to go. I rang her back but already at hospital, her 34 week baby had died. Traumatising for her & her husband. This isn’t about you as others have said.

@Casuallydresseddeepinconversation , medical perspective here.

Everything can seem absolutely fine, until it's not and it's too late. Asymptomatic UTIs, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, etc. can all occur in individuals with no family history and no significant risk factors. Antenatal appointments mean these stand a better chance of being picked up in time to keep you and your baby alive. Healthcare professionals are trained to recognise subtle patterns in presentations and to ask questions that you might not think to ask yourself, to give you a better chance of a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Anatomy scans are done at the 20-week stage because before then it's not accurate enough to reliably exclude some key developmental issues. A reassuring 13-week scan doesn't mean your 20-week scan is guaranteed fine - these scans are medically advised check-ups for your baby. There are things that may be picked up at an anatomy scan that could be fatal for a baby but which are treatable if caught early.

Some aspects of care can be accessed privately, but two big risks from this are: 1) that private doesn't give the same continuity of care and information sharing, so if something goes wrong and you get rushed to hospital, they won't know anything about your baby; 2) unless you're paying for a full private antenatal package, you aren't going to get the comprehensive input available on the NHS.

Social services get worried about pregnant women declining antenatal care with no private equivalent in place, because this group of mums is more likely to have adverse outcomes in pregnancy, either for themselves or their babies.

My advice would be grit your teeth, go to the appointments (take someone with you gor support if you want), and put up with the relatively minor inconvenience of doing so, because that minor inconvenience is significantly preferable to the potential alternatives.

seems youre batting off any attempt at reasoning.
which is of course your privilidge. Feeling emotional and expecting body autonmy when your pregnant requires a bit of a work round. The appointments arent meant to make you feel awful-but as you are aware being a mother already-prevention is often better than a cure. Nobody can actually force you to do what you dont want to.Truth is nobody will actully say "told you so"if god forbid anything that could have been prevented or covered does. it seems....unfair/unecessry risk to put on yourself and the baby.
i hope all goes well .

Unnecessary in whose book? (NB you wrote 'necessary' - Freudian slip?)

You can of course decline any medical care. That is your right.

However, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. If you do not want all appointments, have a careful think about which tests you consider important, and at what intervals. For example, perhaps you don't want to go if it's just a discussion and a urine test - that might not be unreasonable if you are able to test at home and you do so. But blood tests you can't replicate. Scans you can do privately if you choose and book them.

People here are concerned that you might not get appropriate care for your baby. If something goes wrong it might not be picked up on time unless you are either attending schedule a appointments or have appropriate replacements in place.

Pregnancy and childbirth are risky. Think carefully about what risks you are prepared to take and how you can mitigate those.