39 and dreading tell my parents

[MammaJoe]

I’m 39 and have a six year old son. I’m currently pregnant with my second child which will be born when I’m 40. I’m dreading telling people especially my parents as I know they will think I’m way too old and being selfish. Anyone else experienced this?

Haha yes, I felt like a naughty school girl telling my parents about my first and I had just turned 37! I had come out of a 15 year relationship/ marriage and was still legally married but pregnant to my then boyfriend of only a few months (we're now married and DD1 is 4).

Second pregnancy and I'm 41, I'll be 42 on the due date and I put off telling anyone for ages as l felt like everyone would be so negative about my age.

They were fully supportive both times, it was all in my head.

Assuming you don't live in their home and are not expecting them to provide childcare then they have no right to share their opinion with you

Just tell them in a cheerful and breezy way and they might just surprise you and respond with excitement!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Many women have a baby at 40 in this day and age (as many women had before contraception came along). 6 years is a lovely age gap. Are you worried about telling your parents because they will think they will be expected to provide childcare?

Congratulations! You just need to tell them with the attitude this is something to celebrate and you are delighted.
I had my last child just shy of 40 and it never even crossed my mind that anyone would think I was too old - none of their business!

How do you know what your parents will think? Most parents are delighted to be GPs. If one of my daughters were pregnant at your age, I would be delighted for them, if it was what they wanted, which clearly in your case it is. As for other people, don’t give them a second thought. People who know you will be pleased for you, and people who don’t shouldn’t matter. A neighbour had a baby at forty, another at 42 and her last at 44 - it didn’t occur to me to think that she was “too old” (although I gather her MIL was less than tactful!) Just enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to welcoming a new family member.

My parents would be absolutely delighted....why are you worried? 40 is not old

I had this, I was 41 and it was my third. Thought they'd think was absolutely ridiculous, they were over the moon and have been utterly brilliant :)

What does it matter what they think? Are you projecting your own insecurities about the pregnancy onto them? I had my one child four months before turning 40 and was bang on average for my London NCT group.

What?

I was same age, great time to have a baby

How strange. When I told my parents I was pregnant at 41 my dad punched the air in delight.

My husband and I are in our late 30s and expecting our first baby. It would never occur to me to think it was too old, but I come from a family where most of the women, going back to my grandma's generation, had babies well into their mid-40s. My mum had me at 43 and there are plenty of later babies in my husband's family too so nobody batted an eyelid when we told them we were expecting.

You’ve not done anything wrong and have absolutely no reason to dread telling them. I’m sure they’ll be happy for you. I’m pregnant at 40 with my third but my parents couldn’t really say anything as my mum was 41 when she had me and my sister (twins)!

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I had my third child when I was 40 and was worried about telling my parents as I had two sons aged 17 and 15 at the time. The only comment my mother made was it was a shame that I hadn’t got pregnant years earlier but we weren’t ready before.
My daughter has been an absolute blessing in my life so I don’t regret anything.

I feel exactly the same. I’m 37 and 8 weeks pregnant with a 6 and 4 year old and all our friends and family assumed we were done. I feel like they will think we are stupid and it’s a terrible idea (I’m worrying about this myself tbh).

In my friendship circle it's entirely normal to have babies in your late thirties so I wouldn't bat an eyelid, but I'm aware other areas are different. Perhaps you're worried about the age gap and people assuming it was an accident?

Someone mentioned to me once that she was ready to be a grandma because she was "already 45" which blew my mind because my mum had a baby at 43, so 45 for me seems very much a primary school age mum. Grandma to me is 60+. Congratulations on your pregnancy ☺️

I'm in a similar situation OP, 40 and pregnant with DC who will be 8 and 6 when this one comes.

I'm worried about telling people too, hopefully irrationally

"mum, dad I'm pregnant". If they start with anything cut them off and say "oh you misunderstood.. I'm telling you my amazing news, I'm pregnant. Im not asking for opinions or advice"

I'm 37 and TTC... Fairly common in this day and age! Why do you care what anyone thinks?

Most people I know had babies late 30s/ early 40s. I am 45, and my youngest is 1. Everyone was delighted for us.

Congratulations, we had a surprise 3rd. Almost 2 and it's been great apart from the sleepless nights 🤣

It's increasingly common these days!

Congratulations!

Tell them in a cheery way - if you sound apprehensive when you tell them, they will respond in a similar way becuase they won't be sure whether you are happy or not.

40 really isn't that old to have a baby that is your second or third child!

I'm pregnant with happy accidental 3rd pregnancy. I've been told I'm in an idiot. Just trying to learn to ignore. Not worth stressing over.

I don't understand why anyone should say anything at all to a pregnant woman who wants a baby other than "congratulations".