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Original poster

Do I need to tell midwife I’ve had 2 abortions?

33 replies

EGH89 · 16/10/2024 18:46

I’m 35, happily married and expecting my first baby.

However when I was younger I had two abortions.

The first was when I was 19. I considered keeping the baby and changed my mind late on so I had a late term surgical abortion.

The second was when I was 22. I had an early medical abortion at around 7 weeks.

When I log into my NHS account I can see the second abortion is in my medical notes but there’s no mention of the earlier abortion.

I know people will say midwives don’t judge etc. but I do feel embarrassed that I’ve had not just one but two abortions and it’s really upsetting for me to talk about that time in my life so I can’t face having to talk about this at what should be a happy and exciting first appointment.

Is there any medical reason they would need to know I’ve had two previous abortions or is it fine to just mention one?

OP posts:
Undethetree · 16/10/2024 18:49

I have no medical training but surely if they ask the question they need to know the answer to give you the best possible care. You won't be the first, nor the last and they know that there are all sorts of circumstances that can lead to abortion. They won't judge you and at least it will be out there and you won't always be wondering whether you should have mentioned.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

ScaryGrotbag · 16/10/2024 18:50

They won't judge you. And yes they need to know.

Grepes · 16/10/2024 18:51

I was honest and it was written down and never discussed further. Not once in the whole pregnancy!

I’m not a doctor, so can’t advise on a situation where they would need to know this, but I’m always of the opinion that when it comes to mine and my child’s health, I would want them to have the full picture.

I can’t stress enough that I felt no judgement, it was never brought up again, apart from the appointment where I mentioned it (I think I just wrote it on the form), I completely forgot about it for the rest of my pregnancy.

LittleshopofTriffids · 16/10/2024 18:52

Yes, they do need to know if you’ve been pregnant before. One example is that if you are rhesus negative and your baby is rhesus positive and your body has already made antibodies to positive blood types due to previous a previous pregnancy with a rhesus positive fetus, your immune system could attack your baby. There’s a easy way to prevent this medically if they know it could be a risk.

whiskeyarmadillo · 16/10/2024 18:52

They won't judge you.

wiesowarum · 16/10/2024 18:53

I think it's best to be honest with them. They will have come across folk with all sorts of pasts and situations before. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Cotswoldmama · 16/10/2024 18:54

I'm not sure if they ask or not I can't remember, there's quite a few questions at the booking app. I think they might ask if you have had a child before or given birth, something like that. I can't remember for sure, I'm sure someone else will but I don't think they ask and I don't think there's any reason to mention them unless you're asked. I honestly don't think you would get any judgement.

Allswellthatendswelll · 16/10/2024 18:54

Yes, they will ask at booking how many times you have been pregnant and it could be relevant. Midwives will have seen and heard everything. They won't judge you.

mathanxiety · 16/10/2024 19:00

There will be no judgement.

They do need to know about any previous pregnancies though.

They can signpost you to MH / emotional support if there was trauma associated with the previous pregnancies or if memories of that upsetting time resurface as your pregnancy progresses. This can sometimes happen, so please try to see the midwives as friends, allies, and supporters who are there for you through this journey

readyforroundthree · 16/10/2024 19:03

I had a termination at 19 like you and then again last year. I found myself pregnant again this year (third baby) and was completely embarrassed and ashamed about the whole situation. I answered honestly at my booking in appointment and it was never spoken about again, nor did I feel judged. I completely get how you feel, but she didn't even bat an eyelid and I had created a much bigger deal of it in my head than I needed to.

Original poster
EGH89 · 16/10/2024 19:04

LittleshopofTriffids · 16/10/2024 18:52

Yes, they do need to know if you’ve been pregnant before. One example is that if you are rhesus negative and your baby is rhesus positive and your body has already made antibodies to positive blood types due to previous a previous pregnancy with a rhesus positive fetus, your immune system could attack your baby. There’s a easy way to prevent this medically if they know it could be a risk.

That would apply from one previous pregnancy though so medically it wouldn’t change their approach whether you’ve had one or two previous pregnancies. My question is whether there is any medical reason they’d need to know I’ve had two (rather than one) as I can’t find any reason online.

OP posts:
Honeybuney · 16/10/2024 19:06

I’ve also had two terminations. I told my midwife. I was not judged at all. Be honest. Good luck with your pregnancy.

justusandthecat · 16/10/2024 19:09

I was asked if it was my first pregnancy, I said no I had an abortion 10 years ago. She put it in my notes and it was never mentioned again.
Second baby they asked the same question and I said it was my third pregnancy but I only had 1 child. Midwife don't even ask how the other pregnancy ended just put in my notes something like 2 previous pregnancies, 1 birth.

pizzapizzadaddio · 16/10/2024 19:12

Do. Not that it should matter - because who’s counting - but my friend is a midwife and has had more abortions than you.

Oh and congrats on your pregnancy!

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 16/10/2024 19:15

They asked me about terminations and asked the reasons for them! I was pretty pissed off about it tbh.

doodleschnoodle · 16/10/2024 19:17

@EGH89 Rhesus status only matters past around 10 weeks' gestation, so you need to mention the later term abortion for your own safety/baby's safety as the 7-week abortion wont flag as a risk factor. You should have been offered an Anti-D if you were rhesus negative when you had abortion 1, but I wouldn't risk not telling them about it just in case.

mandarindreams · 16/10/2024 19:18

Given that your first abortion was later term, I do think it's important to mention this. It could be medically relevant for a variety of reasons. You won't be judged.

HaleyBrookeandPeyton · 16/10/2024 19:19

I didnt tell them as it had no bearing on my current pregnancy. However, I had given birth twice before so knew there were no issues that could have affected the subsequent pregnancy and I didnt want it recorded on my notes that could be picked up and read by friends/family as I hadnt told anyone.

Original poster
EGH89 · 16/10/2024 19:22

doodleschnoodle · 16/10/2024 19:17

@EGH89 Rhesus status only matters past around 10 weeks' gestation, so you need to mention the later term abortion for your own safety/baby's safety as the 7-week abortion wont flag as a risk factor. You should have been offered an Anti-D if you were rhesus negative when you had abortion 1, but I wouldn't risk not telling them about it just in case.

Thank you. I don’t think I am rhesus negative and I’ve never been offered anti-D but helpful to know.

OP posts:
Original poster
EGH89 · 16/10/2024 19:23

Thank you for the kind responses everyone.

OP posts:
Motherrr · 16/10/2024 19:36

Definitely mention it- like another poster said it could be relevant medically as it was a late one. They will not judge you and will have heard all sorts of things before. I understand where you're coming from though as it makes you feel vulnerable revealing personal details. I had to tell them I had 3 STIs and some other things and was cringing inside but doubt they batted an eyelid

MittensForKittens123 · 16/10/2024 19:41

Honestly, one of the booking in questions is if you are a blood relative of the father, so I really doubt there is anything that you could say that would shock them!

Singleandproud · 16/10/2024 19:45

I think the ask how many pregnancies you've had and how many live births if I remember rightly although it's been awhile

Notsuchacleverclogs · 16/10/2024 19:49

They ask the question but you can also ask for it to be "locked", which means reference to it doesn't appear in your notes or on your paperwork. It's hidden in the system somewhere. Not sure if it is called this everywhere or if it has different names in other trusts.

meltedchocolateandstrawberries · 16/10/2024 19:51

I'm currently pregnant with my second and at my booking in appointment, she asked how many pregnancies so I answered honestly with 2. I said one resulted in an abortion. She then asked if my husband knew about it, presumably so it didn't get mentioned in front of him if I didn't want him to know and I had to admit that the abortion was his baby, just a lot earlier in our relationship and before we were ready. She didn't even react really, just typed it into the laptop. There will be no judgment but you should be honest. Congratulations on your pregnancy😊

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