Do I need to tell midwife I’ve had 2 abortions?

[EGH89]

I’m 35, happily married and expecting my first baby.

However when I was younger I had two abortions.

The first was when I was 19. I considered keeping the baby and changed my mind late on so I had a late term surgical abortion.

The second was when I was 22. I had an early medical abortion at around 7 weeks.

When I log into my NHS account I can see the second abortion is in my medical notes but there’s no mention of the earlier abortion.

I know people will say midwives don’t judge etc. but I do feel embarrassed that I’ve had not just one but two abortions and it’s really upsetting for me to talk about that time in my life so I can’t face having to talk about this at what should be a happy and exciting first appointment.

Is there any medical reason they would need to know I’ve had two previous abortions or is it fine to just mention one?

Yes you should tell her. They want to know if you've had any surgeries in/to your uterus before. They will not judge you in the slightest. They've seen and heard it all.

They do need to know how many times you've been pregnant but they do not need to know how the pregnancies ended.

Congratulations on your pregnancy <3

The reason would be relevant if it was due to a congenital disorder diagnosed during early pregnancy, or you'd been very ill, or a DV victim or anything like that. All sorts of things related to a past pregnancy could affect a current one. I wouldn't be annoyed unless they were sounding judgy!

One example reason to tell them is that pregnancies, miscarriages, abortion methods can all cause uterine scarring and complications - the different experiences your body has had affect different likelihoods of different complications. So they really do need to know how many pregnancies you have had and how they ended. They use it to assess risk throughout your pregnancy.

As another person has said, they may also ask you about the reasoning that led to ending pregnancies. Multiple unplanned pregnancies could for example be the first clue that someone is in a sexually coercive relationship.

All the questions should be done in a straightforward and judgement free way.

They asked me how many pregnancies I'd had before and how many children I had. They asked the circumstances around the pregnancy that didn't result in a child and I explained ectopic. They wanted to know how far along I was and if I had surgery.

They ask a million questions to be honest, you have to tell them about any surgery you've had in the past and broken bones! I had to explain a childhood leg break. Honestly you wouldn't think half of it is relevant but they obviously think it might be.

They won't judge you and they'll move on very swiftly. Don't feel the need to explain!

They won’t ask you more than the basic details and on your notes it’s all coded so that anyone who looked at them wouldn’t see anything.

I guess I felt I was being judged - maybe my own paranoia!

They need to know if you've been pregnant before. People have abortions for all sorts of reasons and it's nothing to be ashamed of.