Pregnant, 40+ and Proud: Fabulous Mummies Sign Up Here!

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Following Ms Dynamo's wonderful news of her pregnancy and all the rest of us who are coming out of the woodwork ...a new, morale-boosting thread for those of us in our 40s currently going through pregnancy.

Come on, sign up: we are 40+ and FABULOUSLY PREGNANT!!!

JeanJeanie Congratulations on the birth of Verity!
A big welcome to all the new girls! I only joined this thread last week!

Herb I used opk's twice a day, I checked my cervical mucus and I 'temped' every morning, really wish you all the luck in the world!x

mrsboogie I haven't breast fed any of my children, I had a breast reduction many years ago, so was unable to. My children are all fit and healthy, and also extrememly clever, so don't worry if it's not for you, we all have the right to do what we feel is best for all concerned!

jeanjeannie Congratulations on the birth of Verity

I grew up in High Wycombe can't believe they are closing the maternity unit there

msdynamo you are allowed to wallow not only have you lost your baby but you have lost all those dreams and expectation you had for them. It takes a while to start to learn to live with it I still have wallowing days and I lost my daughter 16 years ago now.

Belgiumbun with jeanjeannie on the having fun is the way to get pregnant had tried on and off for years and got no where when I hit 40 decided it obviously was not going to happen and it was time to move on and look what happened I only had sex once

Congratulations to jeanjeanie on the birth of Verity - lovely name!

johnworf - thinking of you and Katherine,she sounds a real little fighter,hoping that she goes from strength to strength.

msdynamo - so good to see you posting, hope that you will soon be a fabulous 40+ mum to be soon!

mrsboogie - one thing that was great was when DH could do a bottle feed in the night and let me get some SLEEP! Bottle or breast, they all grow just the same, I really don't like the breast feeding fascism that seems to exist....

Herb - I became pregnant when I had given up all hope, so I guess relaxing is good and the odd glass of wine

JeanJeanie; Congratulations! I love the name Verity (it was on our list if DS had been a girl)
Herb there is...(dare I say it)...(whispering)..an MSN site called Fertility Friends Over 40 with a lot of info about ttc including a recipie (Junes Recipie)of suppliments that might help things...it certainly seemed to work for my last 2 pregnacies (and for June, a friend of mine who invented it and had her gorgeous now 2 yr old son just before she was 48!). Good luck and as they wish you on there tons of Baby Dust to you
MsDynamo; you are doing brilliantly to just sound positive and very brave to keep posting here. I sadly know exactly how you're feeling...I've been there 6 times(7wks, 10wks, 6wks, 6wks, 11wks and 17wks)from 3 months after getting married almost aged 40 (birthday on honeymoon) to 2 months before my 43rd birthday when I got my bfp with my now 8 month old DS. It can and will happen for you again when you are ready I'm sure.
JohnWorfJust checking in to keep a check on how your Katherine is doingand looking forward to seeing more photos.

Afternoon all. Gosh, baby life is very tiring...but very pleasing. Thanks for all your congrats and HELLO! to those of you've I've not chatted to before. Good to see this thread/little club! picking up more of us

Cheers Kaz1967 Ah, a Wycombe girl eh?! So, you escaped! I was lured here by DP - away from the bright lights of London. I'm still stealing myself for the first venture out with the double buggy - up and down the blo*dy HUGE hills here! hahah and like me...you fell preggie first time..42nd b'day celebrations First bit of unsafe sex 9 months after DD1...Whoops

msdynamo I echo everything positive that's been said here....sounds to me as though you're doing really well....and wallowing is right...natural....and I suspect, incredibly healthy and ultimately healing. Loss needs to be acknowledged and allowed otherwise, locked up inside, it can't break free so that you can go forward. I love the fact that you're still posting here. Infact - I'm still posting here too....so maybe the next thread (as we're running out of space!) should be 40 somethings...ttc, preggie and beyond! I just like the supportive feel to it all...and the humour too.

Johnworf how goes things in Manchester? x

jeanjeannie LOL aren't there just huge hills Mum and Dad live on top one it was always up on the way home s a kid LOL

Oh and had not used precautions for years think I was just trying too hard before

Thanks everyone for your nice positive thoughts. I shall wallow guilt free. Floriatosca you have been through an incredible perseverance test, you are amazing.

jeanjeannie I like the sound of the future thread. Or it could be called the Salma Hayek
meets Halle Berry support club. (Newer mumsnetters will have to refer back to jj's earlier thread to understand that one)

Tried to see Sex in the City tonight but all the local cinemas were sold out till the end of the week! Will have to sneak in during an afternoon.

Hope all the new arrivals are doing well. When do we get a pic of Verity?

Whew!!! I thought I'd have a quick read to see what I'd missed in the last 3 weeks while on hols in the US. Three hours and a rollercoaster ride later - I'm shattered!

Congratulations Didoreth, Wahwah and Jeanjeanie (love your choice of name, JJ). Johnworf - hope Katherine is going from strength to strength (and strength to you and DP too).

Babycakes and msdynamo, so sorry for your losses. Msdynamo, I had similar missed m/c at 12 wks in August last year. At my age (43) I was sure I'd lost my last chance for second DC, but amazingly got pregnant again within 4 months.

I have to get to bed now - as Dad used to say "It'll not be this in the morning"! Glad to be back with you gorgeous lot.

Hi ladies,

Just a quick post as I drop in before the day gets underway.

Katherine is doing really well up to now (she says with 'fingers crossed' after it!). Her weight has gone down slightly but it's to be expected. She is now on my milk - albeit 1/2 a ml an hour The arterial line has been removed and once again we heard the CPAP machine mentioned last night. She's 8 days old today so we'll have to wait and see what the day brings us. She's still on antibiotics for a suspected infection but nurse said she'd had a lovely night and has been such a good girl

We're into the routine of making up sandwiches for hospital over the lunchtime and driving over there now. Part of our life. Still a slight friction with DH who is really not pulling his weight looking after me (IMHO). The fact I drove to hospital and back on Monday as he was tired really pissed me off ....and I only did it so I could see my daughter. I dunno if this is something that will right itself over time but I must admit, last night I was really upset about various things. Worried about my baby's and my health, I'm thinking of asking the midwife tomorrow to admit me into Katherine's hospital so I can have a rest. She needs to check my bloods so I'm hoping this'll be my excuse.

Sorry to vent but my dog is sick of me moaning to him!

Hi Johnworf, I think you are such a brave and amazing woman. When it comes to looking after our little ones, we women somehow find the energy, men are usually "too tired".

I can totally relate to what you are saying!

You are doing a fab job and i am sure your little one loves you for it!

Thank you heron22 Your comment means a lot to me

I'm going to post the link to my blog on here and then I can have a normal mums conversation with you ladies. You can follow Katherine's progress on the blog if I've got the link right!!!

The link to Katherine should be here

Off to hospital soon so will keep the blog up to date and speak to you ladies later on when I get 5 minutes.

xxxxx

Hello all,
This thread is so fab that it´s taking me away from my holiday and down to an internet cafe in deepest Fuengirola! I miss you all and tell DH that I must check my emails but really it´s to see what´s been going on with you.

jeanjeannie multos contratulations. Lovely Verity - great name. Glad to hear all is well.

johnworf sending hugs to you and baby Katherine. The reason you are annoyed with DH is a)because you have more important things to concern yourself about than male nincompoopery and b) men in crisis become practical not emotional. When I get upset my DH just starts telling me what I ought to do to alleviate the situation whereas all I really want is for him to put his arms around me and tell me it´s going to be ok. I´ve told him this but it simply doesn´t go in.
You are super brave though and I am full of admiration.

herb sex every 36 hours at least from when your period stops til a week before it starts again. God it gets SO BORING after a while and you just want to go to sleep and never thought you´d lie there wishing it would be over so you get some shut eye Also, once sex over, don´t move, don´t go to the loo, I didn´t ever get out of bed - we always did it at bed time so I just rolled over and went to sleep. Worked though.

That´s all for now - will check in when I can and catch up - so much to read and want to comment but saying hello to everyone -msdynamo - thinking of you - and we are 40+ and fabulous FOR SURE.
XXX

johnworf so sorry that you are not getting the emotional support that you need from DH right now. My DH was the same when my Dad died last year - he was worse than useless, couldn't cope with my grief at all and we ended up going to relationship counseling - so not one of my better years!!

We are fine now, but some men have the emotional intelligence of a slug I hope that you can get the support your need on Mumsnet and elsewhere. Big hugs to you and Katherine

johnworf - glad to hear all is still going ok with Katherine. It must be horrendously exhausting for you especially after the trauma of giving birth and losing blood. I don't know how you do it - I know you have to but you sound so positive and on top of things - you wouldn't be human if things didn't get to you a bit now and then. If your DH has been a good bloke up to now maybe he is just finding it hard to cope - or maybe because he is a bloke he has the luxury of being a little bit selfish and feeling sorry for himself that you don't have. All you can do is talk to him I guess, when you get a chance.

Morning everyone else. I am having yet another fret abut my LO's movements. Every week he has a couple of quiet days when he doesn't move much. This week he has been very quiet since Monday. He only wriggles about a bit after I eat each day and maybe once or twice in between. The movements seem more muffled as well. But he is still moving and the hb sounds ok on the doppler. At 25 weeks I would have thought the movemnts should be getting more frequent and stronger rather than the opposite.I don't know whether I sohould be worried enough to call my useless midwife...

MrsB I have to laugh at the worse than useless MW comment, I had the same last time basically she was la la la everyting will be fine! regardless of the issue.
I think it isn't unusual to still be having random moments at 25week, there is still a lot of room in there .

I have been pondering the significance of being older and having a baby today. I'll be 42 when this LO is born so that will make me 62 when he/she is 20 I'm wondering whether I'll have any energy left by then. My bf from school had her kids in her 20s and her oldest is off to Uni this year! I feel more mature and able to cope with stuff than in my 20s. I'd be interested in your thoughts of pros and cons??

well, I think I can comment - having been pregnant at the two extremes of 18 and 40. At 18 (and later) I was a terrible mother, didn't have a clue, resented the loss of freedom, selfish and didn't really understand what being a mother meant. Now, having made those mistakes I am a different person. Yes I will be older but they say that having young kids keeps you young and I won't be some decrepit old biddy stood at the school gates! People don't have to look or dress "old" these days and as for dying and leaving them alone in the world - well dying isn't the preserve of the old. Anyone can die at any time but haing a young child in middle age is an incentive to keep oneself in good nick.

As for actually being pregant at an older age - I feel absolutely fine. Only a little tired and that is normal for anyone. The only drawbacks for me are; firstly, having to listen to all the scaremongering crap about the risks of 40+ pregancy and secondly you are more acutely aware of the time pressure - so if something goes wrong - like a miscarriage you feel that you have lost half a year out of the two or three that you may have left.

thanks that quite a big age gap you will have. I'm finding this pregnancy pretty thought, I'm very tired even if I go to bed a 8 when we put DS to bed.
I know what you mean about the time pressures I know when we were ttc every month and not pregnant seemed like it was never going to happen.

Hey everyone

Just wanted to pop in to say hi as I miss you all xxx

Oh so much has happened but so glad to hear that baby Katherine is doing ok Johnworf how the devil you are coping I just can't imagine - but you are a strong woman so I know you just will cope - big hugs to little Katherine she looks so beautiful
MsDynamo I don't know what to say honey - huge hugs to you too - I can relate to your pain having had a very similar experience last year and obviously with recent events - there is just really nothing to say - don't give up - we'll get there!!!!
JeanJeanie WOW WOW WOW congraulations I have been thinking about you lots in the last week and so had to pop in to see how you were doing - Verity is a very pretty and gorgeous name - big hugs to your little one XX

Update on us - we are doing Ok - started to get out and about a bit - friends and family being fab - lots of flowers, letters and cards - everyone seems so devastated for us. It is Zac's funeral tomorrow at 3pm so we are getting ourselves prepared for this now - just a simple little service with a few close friends and family - oh and I should say a very camp Vicar lol - he would have to be wouldn't he!!?? We have had a good few giggles though in the last week - he lives with his 'good' friend Raoul and is the campest man in cloth I have ever met - all rather hilarious and has been a good diversion.

Had some blood tests at hospital yesterday to check out DH and I (chromosomes) we have had these done before and all was Ok but we have opted for a second opinion. All being well we have decided to jump (as it were) back on the bandwagon within the next few months...so we'll see...hopefully back on here with a bump by Christmas when I will officially be '40' and fabulous....

Lots of love to all BC xx

Hi babycakes, I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were getting on. Glad you're doing OK. I wish you all the best for the funeral tomorrow. Thanks for your kind words.

On a lighter note you're not even 40 yet?! You baby you! Plenty of time! Heck, you could take a few years off and come back at 49, according to some of the little miracles on this thread.

Be lovely to know you have a bump by Xmas, will keep everything crossed for you. I hope I'll be joining you too

Hi babycakes I hope the funeral is a comfort to you and DH tomorrow I'll be thinking of you too.
See you both back on the thread very soon I think Jeanjeanies idea of a "40 somethings...ttc, preggie and beyond!" thread fopr when we fill this one up is a splendid idea. H

babycakes I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow and am sending you a big hug.

The vicar and his friend 'Raoul' sound surreal though...like something out of a sitcom. I'm glad it put a smile on your face though

I think you are very brave jumping back on the horse as it were. It's a thought that has crossed my mind a few times over the past week TBH. Mebbe it's one of those female instinct things? Whatever it is, I really really hope that I see you on here in a few months time asking all the usual paranoid, frantic, over the top questions that we've all asked once we've peed on the stick and jumped for joy

(((((hug)))))

Not sure about me being strong at the mo. I think I've just gained about 10 years in 7 days! I've started doing a bit of sit down work to take my mind off things but now I'm fretting I'm losing my milk. After Googling what I should do (yep, I'm silly for doing it I know!) I think I've possibly been expending too much energy. Advice was to stay in bed for 2 days Fabulous! I've printed it off for DH

Johnworf 2 days in bed sounds good, are you drinking enough (a lot) and eating OK I know it must be hard to do with all the hospital trips. Also, can you express in the hospital when you are with Katherine? I always found I was hopeless at expressing except if Ben was near when I would get a good "let down" (is it called that? I am having trouble remembering) . Also a friend who couldn't breast feed but did express found an electric pump really helped, she hired from her local NCT . Good luck with the bed rest, looking after everything while you are resting will give DH something practical to do . Saw your new picture on you blog (I have never viewd a blog before) she looks lovely.

Evening girls. Thanks for all your messages of congrats xx Had to go and get a nursing bra which depressed me to find I was a 36F I'm officially distressed by my knorks.

johnworf wow, katherine is doing so well - but I just can't begin to imagine the rollercoaster you're on. I only had 20 days in SCBU, which is nothing but I can empathise with the milk situation. I spent days and nights trying to express.....it's damm hard. I had friends who were ace breastfeeders (olympic worthy) - they could flood a douvet over-night BUT give them a breast pump and bugger all happened. So there must be something psychosomatic about it. It's the desperate need to do something so natural in an unatural environment that creates such upset, which in turn makes the expressing harder.

Try not to stress too much about DH. I agree totally with pwcbird (waves hello over to Costa del crime!)men become practical, not emotional in a crisis...sometimes they even retreat and become a bit selfish. Their coping mechanism is to become guarded, which is bugger all use when you just want a cuddle and some dinner popped on the table. Nincompoops! I checked out the link to your blog....yep - painting toenails and shoe therapy is DEFINATELY a medically recommended way to relax Good girl!

babycakes I shall be thinking of you and your family tomorrow. You are indeed one hell of a lady....and an honory 'almost 40' something....SO YOUNG! HUGE hugs for tomorrow and your vicar (and Raoul!) does indeed sound like a sitcom character. Good to see you've had tests and are thinking about the next time....I have great hopes for you guys....*places hand on forhead in a mystic Meg, psychic kinda way!!! xxx

fortified welcome back from US and checking back in with us!

hedgepig STOP IT!!! We'll be the MOST glamorous 62 year olds out there Seriously- age is an odd thing. I see loads of women who are often 10 years younger than me-and hell, they not only look older but it's their attitude....tired, beaten, down-trodden....no vigour. I've just had a visitor today for tea - she's 84 - and she totally smashes any preconcieved ideas about age. Such energy, passion...and style. I want to be like her!

So - if we're all agreed - I reckon we should definately re-name the thread when this one runs out to encompass us all...then none of us are allowed to leave...hahaha...trapped in fabulous 40 land!!

Night all....off to get some beauty sleep x

Just had the dreaded maternal serum test done today...I pretty much know what to expect after 3 previous false positives. Why do I do this to myself ?
Baby was hiding as gyno looked for heartbeat today at only 11 weeks.
Be more reassuring after the 12 week scan on June 17.
Still completely knackered. Can't wait 'til that passes