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Original poster

Reasons for not drinking at a wedding

88 replies

FeminineRageTheMusical · 02/10/2024 19:15

It’s my cousin’s wedding this weekend and I am currently 1st trimester pregnant with my second child. Now for obvious reasons I don’t want to tell people at the wedding, it’s her big day and not a chance in hell I’d try and steal any thunder.

Only my DH knows, I’m not telling any of my close family until after the 12 week scan as they are an anxious bunch and I’ve miscarried in the past so there is no point putting everyone through the worry!

Trouble is, everyone knows how much I (used to!) love a glass (or 4) of wine and last time I tried to not drink at a wedding years ago when I was pregnant with DD I did a terrible job of hiding it! The ceremony and reception are all at the hotel and we are staying there, because it is 4 hours from where we live, so I can’t say I’m driving.

Please can you help with any successful, or unsuccessful ways of not drinking at weddings or big events x

OP posts:
Original poster
FeminineRageTheMusical · 02/10/2024 20:00

Thank you for all of the suggestions! The most successful seems to be the hold a glass of wine but don’t drink it!

My next question to those who have done this… how easy was it?? I can imagine myself just absent-mindedly drinking it because it’s there and completely forgetting I’m not supposed to be drinking it 😂

I agree once the dancing starts it will be easier to get soft drinks, it’s just the sit down meal with the table wine that will be the tricky part!

For those who asked, unfortunately I can’t say I’m driving as we are all staying at the wedding hotel!

OP posts:
MarmaladeJars · 02/10/2024 20:04

Just start acting drunk and argumentative early on in the day. Everyone will be telling you to stop drinking after that.

vincettenoir · 02/10/2024 20:06

Super easy. At dinner I would have my alcoholic drink next to my dh’s drink and he would drink them both. I would drink from a water glass on the other side. I think you will be surprised how easy it is. It’s much better than making some kind of excuse as people at a wedding/ big night out often try to twist your arm (which is a damning indictment of our attitude towards drink in the UK but that’s another thread).

Cinai2 · 02/10/2024 20:08

Another vote for just carrying a glass of wine or Prosecco around without actually drinking it. Even better if you occasionally swap glasses with DH so that your glass is half full, but as long as people see you with a glass in your hands, no one will notice it. Successfully tested at my own wedding 😁

Changingplace · 02/10/2024 20:12

MyOwnToes · 02/10/2024 19:34

Don’t say anything. Just accept a drink then don’t drink it.

Absolutely this, I’m known in my group for loving a wine & I got away without drinking my whole 40th birthday weekend with 25 people by doing this.

People take a lot less notice of how often you’re filling your glass than you’d think, I always had a glass in my hand, then swapped them/threw some away, took a drink if I didn’t much in my glass but only turned one down if I had a full glass.

Actually surprisingly easy done and saves the ‘I’m on antibiotics’ lie that basically means you may as well scrawl I’m pregnant across your forehead in felt tip pen 🤣

NCISveryspecialagent · 02/10/2024 20:12

If you are staying at the hotel its a lot more simple. Non alcoholic wine in your room, get a glass of wine and wander around with it, excuse yourself for whatever reason, pour it out in your room and replace with non alcoholic from your room that you can drink.

MaybeItsJustTimeToStop · 02/10/2024 20:13

I hid it really well a few weeks ago at a wedding, not one person noticed I wasn't drinking. Appetiser looks very similar to prosecco, so I was also seen actually drinking that drink, I literally just discreetly went to the bar and had it in a flute instead. Had a half glass if white in front of me at dinner, just drank the glass of water next to it, the fizz for the toast I just had a tiny sip at the toast, in the evening just had my usual mixer without anything in it. Nobody else really notices what you're drinking unless you draw attention to it 🙂

MaybeItsJustTimeToStop · 02/10/2024 20:13

Appletiser! Not appetiser!

Neurodiversitydoctor · 02/10/2024 20:17

DownWhichOfLate · 02/10/2024 19:21

Just hold a glass of wine but not actually drink it. If your husband also drinks wine every so often swap glasses with him so you have a partially drunk glass.

This my SIL did rhis 2 uears ago very successfullu, she also likes a drink. None of us guessed and were flabbergasted when they told us in late January...

DreadPirateRobots · 02/10/2024 20:20

People notice the moment when you refuse a drink. They never notice whether you are actually drinking from the glass in your hand. Just wander around with it for a bit and then discreetly spill or pour it away. Repeat as needed. Nobody ever clocks that one. "I'm on antibiotics" is like holding up an enormous "I'M PREGNANT" banner.

AllAboutNiamh · 02/10/2024 20:20

Saying you’re not drinking because you’re on antibiotics is akin to announcing your pregnancy.

Just fake it with soft drinks and having fizz in your glass but not drinking it.

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 02/10/2024 20:36

Take wine at the table as usual and then when your husband is down to half a glass he takes your full one. Later on go on to a massive glass of "gin"

Simples.

DappledThings · 02/10/2024 20:44

Just don't think about it. Don't draw any attention but if anyone asks just be honest. They'll probably guess anyway.

I was at a wedding at 10 weeks. Couple of people asked why I wasn't drinking so I answered honestly "I'm pregnant but it's early days so nothings's certain". That meant no big fuss, no thunder stolen, no awkwardness, no distraction of people gossipping and trying to guess and everyone just cracked on with enjoying the evening.

All the subterfuge and the knots people tie themselves in are so silly and unnecessary.

kitsuneghost · 02/10/2024 20:59

Even though you are staying over, you can say you are driving tomorrow
Many people don't drink if they are driving next day.

Changingplace · 02/10/2024 22:21

kitsuneghost · 02/10/2024 20:59

Even though you are staying over, you can say you are driving tomorrow
Many people don't drink if they are driving next day.

Virtually everyone will be driving the next day! Any kind of made up stuff like this draws unnecessary attention to the not drinking situation.

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 02/10/2024 22:38

Shoesshoes87 · 02/10/2024 19:45

I genuinely had a kidney infection at my cousins wedding and on strong antibiotics and nobody believed me and wouldn’t stop asking me if I was pregnant and I was single at the time 😂

I had the same. I was taking metronidazole, which is the antibiotic you really actually can't have alcohol with. No one believed me.

To add some cruel irony to the situation, I was taking it for an infection following a miscarriage.

TheFluffiestCat · 02/10/2024 23:04

My friend got away with it at my wedding with lime and soda. I assumed it was G&T so didn't look too closely.

grungey · 02/10/2024 23:14

I would have one alcoholic drink at a wedding when I was pregnant, just make it last?! Then top the same glass up with Nosecco from your room, it looks exactly the same!

PMAmostofthetime · 02/10/2024 23:16

readyforroundthree · 02/10/2024 19:22

I would say I'm on antibiotics for a horrible UTI so don't want to make it worse or become physically sick.

This! Always works, say you wasn't going to come at all as you have been really unwell but didn't want to miss it, also gives the great excuse for all the extra loo breaks.

Congratulations x

Leopardprintlover101 · 02/10/2024 23:20

Fizzy water in a gin glass!

Or if asked say oh I haven’t been well recently so I’m just taking it easy. No one asks questions if they think you have the runs 😂

TemuSpecialBuy · 02/10/2024 23:40

FeminineRageTheMusical · 02/10/2024 20:00

Thank you for all of the suggestions! The most successful seems to be the hold a glass of wine but don’t drink it!

My next question to those who have done this… how easy was it?? I can imagine myself just absent-mindedly drinking it because it’s there and completely forgetting I’m not supposed to be drinking it 😂

I agree once the dancing starts it will be easier to get soft drinks, it’s just the sit down meal with the table wine that will be the tricky part!

For those who asked, unfortunately I can’t say I’m driving as we are all staying at the wedding hotel!

Incredibly easy...

but i couldnt get excited about drinking half a unit or a unit so if i had the odd sip i wasnt bothered.

cherrybl0ssom5 · 03/10/2024 00:25

I had a function in my first trimester & it was an open bar, I sipped on cranberry juice the whole night, my friends were either tipsy or drunk so hadn’t a clue. Did turn down a couple drinks but nobody suspected anything as they’d witnessed me drinking my cranberry throughout the night. If that did fail I would’ve went with i’ve got a migraine 😂

Avatartar · 03/10/2024 00:33

Say you’ve got used to G&Ts and have fizzy water/ice/slice

riversflows · 03/10/2024 00:34

FeminineRageTheMusical · 02/10/2024 19:15

It’s my cousin’s wedding this weekend and I am currently 1st trimester pregnant with my second child. Now for obvious reasons I don’t want to tell people at the wedding, it’s her big day and not a chance in hell I’d try and steal any thunder.

Only my DH knows, I’m not telling any of my close family until after the 12 week scan as they are an anxious bunch and I’ve miscarried in the past so there is no point putting everyone through the worry!

Trouble is, everyone knows how much I (used to!) love a glass (or 4) of wine and last time I tried to not drink at a wedding years ago when I was pregnant with DD I did a terrible job of hiding it! The ceremony and reception are all at the hotel and we are staying there, because it is 4 hours from where we live, so I can’t say I’m driving.

Please can you help with any successful, or unsuccessful ways of not drinking at weddings or big events x

You are driving home or back to the hotel ?

Star81 · 03/10/2024 00:35

One of the cancer charities - I think McMillan - is doing sober October so make a donation to it and then there’s your excuse and a charity made a bit of money too