Please convince me it's OK to go on mat leave again!

[brambleshortcake]

I feel so silly. Just found out I'm pregnant this week. Overjoyed of course. However, I went back to work from mat leave last June and now I am dreading the thought of mentioning my pregnancy to my manager... I feel... embarrassed. Like I'm milking the system or something. I also went back PT but recently had been considering going back to FT as my DS loves his nursery and more money would be good but now I am scared it will make me look like I want more money over mat leave. I'd obviously stay FT when going back after this mat leave, as now I know that DCs are fine when settled in. I Initially wanted PT as I feared missing my DS but we're all getting on well with our nursery/work routine!

Welcome your thoughts...TIA xx

our thoughts?

well, you don’t really have much choice do you 🤷

you pulled a blinder deciding to recently go back full time

You’re entitled to maternity leave so you’re fine to take it.

There’s also no limit on the number of maternity leaves you can take.

career and money wise you may want to take a shorter leave but that’s up to you.

There’s literally nothing your manager can say or do about this, even if they do think you’re trying to milk the system. All they can do is say congratulations, even if inside they’re cursing you.

congratulations by the way! I know it feels big at this moment but this is such a small part of your overall life. If you intend to stay at the company it really makes no difference whether you’re pregnant now or in a year, either way you’ll have had 2 maternities.

Re full time, do what works for you. Again, your manager can’t say ‘no you can’t go FT because you’re pregnant’, even if they have their suspicions about why you’re going full time.

Hold your head up high! You've done absolutely nothing wrong. You're entitled to go on maternity leave and to have another baby.

Blimey. I do really feel for your employer and work colleagues but what can they do? They can't legally discriminate against you but it does feel a bit like taking the piss. However, you can't put the pregnancy back so go for it.

Nothing wrong with going on maternity again. Your manager may not want you full time, and nothing to do with the pregnancy but they will have probably put things in place for when you went part time.

@modgepodge thank you! That’s a great way of looking at it. Just a small portion of my life and whether I take it now, next year or the year after, it’s still taking x2 mat leave

You've done nothing wrong! I went full time when I knew I was pregnant for financial reasons so definitely go full time if you can! I'd go full time prior to letting them know, just in case they find a 'good business reason' to not let you have full time if they know you're pregnant.
It's your right to have a child and as soon as you let them know you are pregnant it's a protected characteristic but if you requested full time after telling them they may find a decent enough reason to refuse.

You're on Mumsnet and you have an issue with someone having a second child and taking the maternity leave they are entitled to? Wow.

It isn't taking the piss at all. You're pregnant and so you will need maternity leave. All perfectly reasonable and normal.

Will you be able to go back full time whenever you want to, or have they already used that resource elsewhere?

All I will say is all babies are different. My first adored nursery, my second doesn't. He copes fine once we're gone but the separation anxiety is setting in at 12 months and the mum guilt all day is horrible. Plus double nursery costs is a bugger! I'd stay PT for a good few years if finances allow. Once they're in school their social calendar is ridiculous! I take time off every week for something or other parents are required for

Oh and FYI you pay NI contributions for SMP too so it's only what you are owed back

Don't feel bad! It's only 2 maternity leaves!

Also sounds like by the time you start mat leave, you will have been back from your first for two years? If so, that's plenty of time!

Lots of women are in the position that they get pregnant during or shortly after they return from maternity, and for others they may be new to be the job/business altogether.

I'm about to start mat leave after being with the firm for just over two years, and I'd be miffed if anyone tried to make me feel bad!

Congratulations OP and cross this off your stress list ☺️

🙄🙄🙄

Lots of women return from mat leave already pregnant with the next child, myself included. Nothing to feel guilty about.

Whatever you do, don't tell your manager you plan to come back FT after maternity leave. You genuinely don't know how your new baby will be or how your toddler will cope with a new baby or how you will cope with two under 4.

Plenty of people have back to back maternity leave with two under 3, so don't feel guilty about that at all. Just be realistic that PT is more likely when you return, although that might not be financially manageable with two childcare costs.

Returned from mat leave June 2024 or 2023? If the latter that's loads of time to be back in post, can't see why they'd be annoyed! And either way, it's your right to take leave and grow your family so enjoy it.

Did you go back from mat leave this June or last year 2023? Either way you shouldn't feel bad! You're entitled to the maternity pay and to go full time if you want to. Although I would maybe tell them about the full time before the pregnancy otherwise they may be inclined to decline.

Totally understand though. My mat leave ended last month but I've not gone back to work yet (using up accrued annual leave) and have just found out this weekend that I'm pregnant. I am DREADING have to tell them when I go back and feel hugely irrationally guilty too

If it's over a year that's plenty of time, plus you won't be going on leave straight away. It sounds like a perfectly normal gap to me. It's to be expected that many people will want more than 1 child

Do not feel guilty! I had 5 months in between my two maternity leaves. Even if people did think anything of it they didn't have the balls to say it to my face...

But now that part of motherhood is done and dusted, still working for the same company and had a promotion since being back after DC2.

You went back last June and you’ll be due around June 2025, you’ll have been back at work for two years so I see no issue?

I'm another one who went back to work pregnant after maternity leave, not sure anyone cared?
Can't say it was very good for my career, but that was my problem not theirs.

Just throwing a legal point in, your contract is now legally part time, so just due to wanting to go full time they don't have to let you, the work may have been given to someone else or done different. Its worth noting that going Ft to Pt for most roles takes a bit of thinking and effort on both sides so it might not be that easy, I say this having had two mat leaves, been part and full time and being in HR! But do not feel bad about your pregnancy.. its life and you should absolutely celebrate that. I also wouldn't plan your return yet either. My second child was a nightmare and i had to take the first out of nursery and have a nanny at home as was one fee rather than two so dont make any plans yet...

I was already pregnant with my second child when I returned from having my first.

I told my boss at the return to work interview.
His face 😮🤣

It was a large organisation, multiple locations, hundreds of staff so nobody was inconvenienced.