Please convince me it's OK to go on mat leave again!

[brambleshortcake]

I feel so silly. Just found out I'm pregnant this week. Overjoyed of course. However, I went back to work from mat leave last June and now I am dreading the thought of mentioning my pregnancy to my manager... I feel... embarrassed. Like I'm milking the system or something. I also went back PT but recently had been considering going back to FT as my DS loves his nursery and more money would be good but now I am scared it will make me look like I want more money over mat leave. I'd obviously stay FT when going back after this mat leave, as now I know that DCs are fine when settled in. I Initially wanted PT as I feared missing my DS but we're all getting on well with our nursery/work routine!

Welcome your thoughts...TIA xx

Don't feel guilty. It is a small part of your working life.

Also two kids with a two year age gap is totally normal, they are probably expecting it.

I did pretty much this, I was still at work for a year between mat leaves which I don't think is outrageous.

I think few people will be surprised that you have another baby within 1-3 years of your first

Congratulations

A friend/colleague at who was on maternity leave with her first child returned to work announcing her pregnancy, same with her third after returning from her second.

Nobody thought any less of her, congratulated her, usual welcome backs with open arms.

Ha, I rejoined my old workplace and found out same week I was pregnant with my second Luckily my boss thought it was great and told me his wife started a new job when she was 8 months' pregnant! So think you're fine, OP!

Why? A lot of women have two babies and so two mat leaves. Isn’t it almost better to do it closer together. Plus OP presumably has a baby a bit over 1 year old, so will have a two year age gap, which is perfectly normal. I know many families with a two year age gap so they must have done exactly this.

I don’t see the issue, lots of people have two or more children so will need to take maternity leave twice.

It is an inconvenience to an employer but a completely unavoidable one and there are plenty of other things employers have to deal with, this is just one of many! Don’t feel bad.

As others have said, don’t make any decisions on FT/PT yet if you don’t have to.

Women work and have babies and thankfully in this country (unlike in some others) employers have no rights or expectation to be involved in the family planning process.

Go back up to full time and then tell them.

And don’t worry about how it looks, I’ve spent far too much of my own working life worrying about that kind of thing when the truth is most
businesses don’t give a shit about you. Not in a bad way, just that it’s just business.

the attitudes of "pulling a blinder" "milking the system" etc etc are terrible!

Women really cannot win can they whatever they do. Society wants women in the workplace, but if society doesn't support women to take maternity leave women may feel like they can't have children because they are milking the system etc. society NEEDS women to carry and birth children there's no other way of the human race continuing.

so time and time again we are literally screwed whatever we do! I am so sick of the attitude of society expecting women to work and bring children up but don't take the piss don't complain don't do x y and z, no wonder mental health is rock bottom!

congratulations on your pregnancy op, you're fine, maternity leave is in place to support women to remain in the workplace if that is their choice, you are entitled to request to increase your hours to full time (your employer is entitled to decline this if it won't work for the business) and you are entitled to go on maternity leave.

I wouldn’t feel guilty about that. It’s so normal for women to have children close in age and I fully expect managers to know that.

Oh and on taking the piss…

I worked 3 days a week after I had my first
went up to 4 days
within less than a month after going up to 4 days got pregnant (was a surprise)
ended up with some complications and was off for appointments the 4th day for the first couple of months.

just one of those things and not planned but these things happen

I know someone who discovered she was pregnant a week into a new job and has now had 3 back to back mat leaves as she’s fallen pregnant each time a couple of months after birth. She’s been on mat leave for years - it happens.

I went back from maternity leave already five months pregnant with my second child. I was only back in the office three months when I went off on maternity leave again.

I felt a bit guilty, but there really was no need. In my case they got the person who covered my job the first time to do it again, so it was pretty seamless from their point of view.

As others have said:

(1) if you're already pregnant then the decision has already been made;
(2) if the plan was to have two children then in practice it shouldn't actually matter that much to the business whether they're close in time or four years apart - and two kids is pretty standard!

Lots of people have their kids in quick succession, I remember a colleague of mine coming in with her six month old baby to let our boss know that she was expecting a second later that year...

First, congratulations. Second, don’t feel bad at all. Legally they can’t stop you. You’re entitled to it. I came back off mat leave in nov and then told them I was pregnant again in feb/ march.

Would you feel the same if one of your male colleagues had similarly spaced babies? Of course you wouldn’t. Just because you’re a working female doesn’t mean you can’t make the choices that are right for your family life.

If you've been back since last June, then I don't even see why your employer would think anything really. Don't forget you'll still be working for the next 9 months or whatever before going off, and as PP said it's only a short period in the grand scheme of things.

Absolutely gorgeous back full time and the tell them at 20/24 weeks. The extra money will help your family, why wouldn't you. Feeling guilty when you're not doing anything legally wrong won't put food on the table. These rules/benefits are there for a reason, so women can have their families and their careers.

Lol, I mean go back full time.

Very important to remember this!!

On the other hand, if they refuse you after telling them about baby, you can say this was refused due to baby (therefore discrimination). I would just request full time asap :D