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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Oh, its started already! So far I've been called a 'silly cow' and been asked 3 times if it was 'planned!'

56 replies

Disenchanted · 20/04/2008 20:27

Hmm
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hattyyellow · 21/04/2008 11:08

Alexa that's awful! Have only just worked out what a wizard's sleeve is!

hattyyellow · 21/04/2008 11:10

"On top of that both DDs are taking advantage of my limited mobility and playing up big time in public so I get all the looks (and sometimes comments) of how I shouldn't have had any more if I can't 'cope' with the two I have."

Bigbadmouse I know I'm going to feel exactly this if I get to late pregnancy - people look at me in horror anyway just having twins - as if it's some awful punhishment for some past life rather than me being blessed with two lovely healthy children in one go.

ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 21/04/2008 11:12

Someone tell me please

I'm not very bright

ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 21/04/2008 11:13

~Oh..

oh. Surely not??

cutekids · 21/04/2008 11:32

I was pregnant when my 1st child was 3months old;pregnant again when 2nd child was 3 months old....hence why i have x 3 birthdays coming up very soon!
After struggling to get pregnant first time around I was amazed that i got pregnant so quick second time around and again third time around!!!However, I was - and still am - really proud and I didn't care what anyone else thought! (apart from telling Hubbie to ring mum-who lives a couple of miles away from me-from Saudi and tell her I was pregnant again with my 3rd).Mum was't best pleased but they're all here now and they're all the pride and joy of the family.

Leenie · 21/04/2008 12:06

Don't worry wot other people say, i am getting all of the " you must be mad" "you are so stupid" " was it an accident" or " oh my god , just as you were about to be free of the ties of children you've gone and done this !" and the latest one was on saturday , at my nephhew's birthday party, this woman who i don't even like calls accross the room, do not tell me that that is a baby in there !!!, to which i replied, No! i have just been shoplifting in Primark !! how dumb can people be,I will never want to be free of my responsibilities to my children, and was actually worying about how quiet and miserable it would be in the future without kids in the house laughing and playing. i am 5 months + now, and huge, the reason for everyones comments in my situation, i am 35 and have a 17yr old and a 15 yr old, hence the shock to all that i am
"starting all over again!!" as everyone keeps putting it ! i don't care wot anybody thinks, i feel young (or atleast i did till i got pregnant) lol, , and me and my hubby over the moon, i look on this as a blessing, and am thrilled, i was young and on my own with my first two, i have a chance to hopefully really enjoy this time around, and hopefully have a bit more wisdom now then i did then , good luck to everyone

lollipopmother · 21/04/2008 12:34

I had to tell my mum to button it because she really wants mine to be a girl and kept making remarks that made me think she wouldn't even speak to the baby if it was a boy, let alone love it. It so happens that I've been told i'm having a girl, although the scanner was a little cagey about it so mum is 'ecstatic', I hope to God my scan in 4 weeks doesn't now show I'm having a boy, I could quite see her not speaking to me ever again.

monkeybutler · 21/04/2008 12:44

Lolli - you will have a new relationship with your third DC (whatever it is) if its a boy and your mum never speaks to you again - then you have made an excellent swop imo.

MrsMattie · 21/04/2008 12:46

People are arses sometimes. My friend has 3 under 3 and she gets dirty looks and comments from grumpy old fuckers on the bus. Get a few sharp retorts for such comments under your belt and go about your business.

See you on the Dec 08 thread!

lollipopmother · 21/04/2008 13:05

Monkey - Yes I know what you mean, it could be a blessing in disguise!

I have also had the 'was it planned' questions, and I always think 'well yes actually it bloody was, not that it's any of your business you nosy bastard!!'.

WombFor1More · 21/04/2008 14:18

Oh disenchanted sounds like the comments I've had too!

I look very young, 17/18ish, I am most definately not though

Today I was walking into town with my 3 dc's aged 6, 4 and 9months and the amount of, mostly elderly, ladies who tutted at me as I walked past the bus stop was unbelievable

Big deal granny, I'm having number 4, GET OVER IT.

I too had many family and friends ask if it was planned. Actually some just presumed it was an accident, ggrrrrr.

Disenchanted · 21/04/2008 15:02

I probaly will have more after this one! I love kids, babies pregnancy and I can't see myself not feeling the urge for another one for 20 years!

Had the 'oh I expect you want a girl' comment again today.

In all truthfullness, yes I would like a girl, but Id like a boy too... I really don't mind but it would be nice to have a pink one at some point.

Am CONVINCED this is a girl though

OP posts:
missyhissey · 21/04/2008 15:41

Can I just hijack for a quick moment?
I remember your nursery thread,Disenchanted, how are you and your ds doing now you've taken him out. I'm having a similar situation with my dd at the moment

Neenzandhertwinbeans · 21/04/2008 18:22

I never realised having 3 kids was such a big deal. I am one of 4 and DH one of 3 so when people say to me 'boy-girl twins, you are so lucky, you can stop now' I say 'Oh no, we'll have at least one more, maybe two' and yes they look at me like I am mad.

It does annoy me when friends get pregnant for the second time and they say it is the 'perfect' age gap and how it is 'what they always wanted'.

I think 'you sad f*ck, just have a baby when you want one - if you are lucky enough to be blessed with one!' I think it is sad to map out your life like that and think of it as 'perfect' just cos there are exactly two years between your precious DCs. My mum had four kids in six years and her life is all the more rich for it.

bogie · 21/04/2008 18:24

I got the same and still get it now i'm 20 weeks not from my mum or mil but from friends and extended family.
It pees them off even more when we say it was planned.

serendippity · 21/04/2008 18:27

Bollocks to them! You are happy, that's what counts

Alexa808 · 22/04/2008 01:27

Disenchanted: well, some of the comments were made from dp's family who do not seem to like me no matter what I do. His father is nice by all accounts but his GF (my dp's Mum died when he was young) seems to hate me and always makes snide comments and says stuff like 'Oh I believe you've never had to do this'. 'You know, this is how real people live, work, etc' 'Oh don't worry about the cooking, we'll find a restaurant, we don't want to burden you and then regret it later'. (I'm not a great cook and the few dishes I do very well are either German or Persian/Pakistani and they refuse to eat either. They certainly wouldn't 'regret' it...) It's a long story but she thinks I'm stuck up because of my family and education and always finds fault...

Anyhoo...sry, just got carried away in my misery: my dp and I were very open we had been trying and got lucky quickly. (Despite one of my ovaries not working.) That up front statement about us going at at it for 3 months has somehow shut them up.

As I worked on a trading floor the tone is quite rough and the boys give as good as they get. I said stuff like: 'You don't have a vag and you're still sitting at the same desk as 5 years ago so I guess some aren't born for glory'. Or: 'you must know what your talking about, how's your wife?' (To the guy that asked me if I'll have a wizard's sleeve' (they have 3 kids).

Girl's comments were more difficult but resorting to lies and a bit of cattiness solved it: To the slapper that pitied me I said: 'Well I guess you'll never find out.' (She has previously told me that her dh and her tried for a baby but nothing happened and now she's getting too old and has given in to her lot.)

The stupid receptionist got:'Oh, no worries, X (my dp) has just gotten a 500k basic contract, I'll be lounging in the sun all day, going for lunch and doing bits of hedge fund introduction which is going to earn me a bit on the side. X doesn't want me to work anyway, I'll get a nanny, maid, driver and cleaner and life will be bliss. How's it going with x (her BF, now ex), any chance he'll come back?'

It was bitchy and a bit of a lie, but I felt so much better. She's been effing half of the trading floor to get a BF that'll swathe her in Gucci. Serves her right to get FA.

hattyyellow: You know, for all my bitchy retorts, some comments did strike fear in my heart. I don't want wizard's sleeves (a fanjo that hangs down like a wizard's sleeve) and I am afraid that I'll never get back into my career again. Who wants to be parted from a little babe and go back to stressful 60h weeks? But I'll go along on the chosen path now and think about the rest later. I just find it absolutely out of order to make comments like this to a mum-to-be when it's a time of doubts, worries and dizzy hormones. I'm seriously wondering though since when has it become acceptable to insult a woman that's given birth naturally???????

What I also don't understand is the tutting and sheer antipathy people show you when you have more than 2 or max. 3 kids. What's that all about? Since when has it become unacceptable in society to have more than 2.4 kids? Wombfor1more let them stare. Their generation had kids as early as 18-20, anything older than 25 was considered too late.

monkeybutler · 22/04/2008 09:59

Yikes Alexa - glad I work in a shop! We all have 'top of welly' fanjos - furniture has been known to disappear - hahaha.

SpuddysMum · 27/04/2008 19:26

People are w*nkers aren't they!

Sorry, Hi everyone this is my first time here!

3rd pregnancy, my boys are 8 and 3. I am 37 and separated from my boys' dad who is also dad to the 12+5 week gremlin in my belly (momentary reconciliation - trip too far down memory lane with 2 bottles of rose!!!).

I have been told that I am a silly girl i am 30 effing 7 and what am I going to do.

Admittedly my situation is not ideal but I am happy ( now the morning sickness has stopped!) and will cope with whatever happens, we all do somehow don't we!

The worst however was from some of my best friends who have asked if I am going to keep it, like it is a pair of size 12s that may (read definitely!) never fit again!

Oh and I get all the time are you sure there is only 1 in there and you got your dates right? and don't worry it will be a girl this time AAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

whomovedmychocolate · 27/04/2008 19:43

Cheeky buggers. Tell them you are raising a master-race to take over their mere plebian lives so that they don't have to flaunt their ignorance so freely in the future.

Divvy · 27/04/2008 19:49

I am getting anoyed at peoples coments as well.

I am expecting my 5th baby, as this one is a boy and I have 4 girls, they all say

"Ah, thats it now then, you dont need any more, now you got your boy!"

I didnt have more children so I could get a boy!

VictorianSqualor · 27/04/2008 19:49

I can't stand these comments, I was asked almost immediately with no3 if he was an 'accident', from some of my closest friends, er yeah, an accident I spent 6 months trying to conceive!
I can't wait to see their faces when I start ttc in a years time (DC3 is only 12 days old)
Congrats.

becaroo · 28/04/2008 13:51

I had my first ds at 30. Am now pregnant with my second at nearly 36.

You just cant win...if you have one, you're cruel.

If you have two of the same sex, well, you must want another to get a girl/boy obviously.

If you dont want any you are seen as somehow not feminine/normal.

Tell them all to feck off.....!

Heartmum2Jamie · 28/04/2008 19:19

Ohhh, I feel sooo much better reading this thread! I am currently 13+5 with my 3rd baby. I have 2 sons aged nearly 7(end of May) and nearly 4 (end of June). We told the families this weekend and thankfully, they all seem genuinely pleased, but annoyingly I got the "I really hope it's a girl" comments. As ds2 has some serious health issues, we told the family that we really don't care what sex we have so long as the baby is healthy and the MIL said "Well, girl first, healthy second, we can't have 5 grandsons of 6 grandkids" I was tempted to tell her I should have ordered my baby from a catalogue then.

I know things will only get worse, with the comments about owning a tv, being an accident and obviously we gave it one more shot for a girl. Grrrr! Feckers, the lot of em!

Divvy · 28/04/2008 21:22

On yes TV comment!

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