Anyone pregnant at 44?

[Alwayssomething14]

I'm 43 and posted several times over the last two years about deciding on a 2nd and final child. After two traumatic losses in 2022, I'm terrified for my physical and mental health if anything went wrong but I'm filled with guilt that my almost 10 year old is an only child. I wish I'd tried in my late 30s for another when the age gap wasn't so big, I have so much regret. It keeps me awake at night it's that bad. Is 60 really too old to have a 16 year old? I'm fairly healthy, not overweight, exercise and eat a balanced diet. In other words I try look after myself and will continue to. I just can't make a decision. Would love to hear from anyone pregnant at 44 or who have had children at that age. Thank you

No, but I can say that at 47, nearly 48 I’m feeling my age way more than I did just 4 years ago.

I think I’m properly perimenopausal which makes my sleep worse, I ache, brain fog, the flushes…

I can’t imagine feeling like this with a young child to care for too.

oh, and I have 2 teens. I’m regularly up at night to collect them from a party, waiting for them to get home from a party or (only this weekend) nursing them their first overindulgence with alcohol. I wouldn’t fancy doing that at 60.

Thank you for your reply, you are very lucky having two and in their teen years at your age. We had fertility issues and had my daughter when I was 33 via IVF . I'm filled with deep regret that we never tried again in the following years but we were just in a bubble, then covid hit when she was 5, just as we started to think about it again. I couldn't face the treatment during that difficult time and having to spend time in hospital alone, so we just put it off again. Then two surprise natural pregnancies in 2022 unfortunately ending has just got me feeling there's a missing piece. I don't want my age to be a thing.

Had my third at 44. It was, and still is, great! Best of luck.

Thank you for replying! Did you have any issues with your pregnancy? Lovely to hear everything is going great 😊

No issues. Conceived within two months of trying, smooth pregnancy, easy birth, happy (big!) baby, delighted siblings. I know I’m lucky (in my opinion, you’ll have people like pp saying it’s madness!).

This is something that I am also wondering, so I will shamelessly place mark!

I also note that I know multiple women who have had babies or are considering babies within this age range - what I DON'T know is anyone who is 60 with a 16 year old...

I have a 16-year-old at 50 and no, I wouldn't still want to be doing GCSEs and all the teenage stuff in ten years' time. TBH, my tolerance for nonsense has massively reduced in the past 3-4 years and I find myself looking forward to it being just me and DH again in the not too distant future. If your older one is 10 too, I wouldn't want to go back to babies and nappies, teething and potty training, etc. If you had a baby next year you'd be 48 age by the time s/he started school, which to my mind is horrendous!

Kindly, why do you feel guilty that your child doesn't have a sibling?

I turn 59 in November, and have a 16 year old. It´s been absolutely fantastic for me. I had DS at 43, great pregnancy, healthy baby and I really believe he has contributed to helping me stay youthful. I´ve thoroughly enjoy been his mum.

I had my last baby at 44 and he is an absolute joy. No problems with the pregnancy except morning sickness.

I had my only at 45 & 2 month, naturally conceived (a bit of a shock), but all good.

I had a problem free pregnancy, wasn't queasy once. Worked until I was 37 weeks. DS arrived naturally at 40+6, 8lb. Slightly slow labour, needed a bit of help right at the end.

DS is now 16yo, 5'11". Doing maths, physics and DT A'levels. Eats for England 🤗

It's hard work OP, but I don't regret any of it for a second.

I'm an only child myself but I have cousins, my daughter doesn't. She has two on her father's side but one is in her 20s and the other has learning difficulties, there is unfortunately no relationship there. I worry about her not having any family around her when we aren't here.

I am a sixty five year old with a 20 year old.
I am not superwoman at all but honestly things are fine. I have a good relationship with my son and have managed all the ages and stages. I had the attitude " he's meant to be here and I'm his mum- end of!"
Maturity can make up for a lack of energy

I'm 60 with a 16yo.

We practice martial arts and cycle together. I teach him to cook and he tells me off for being a TERF 🤗 We get on fine.

I still work full time. Life just carries on as normal. I'll pack in work when he goes to Uni.

@LatinJules

Thank you for all the positive posts, it's so great to hear 🩷

Hi OP,

I have a 12-year age gap due to secondary infertility and I'll be honest, my eldest has very little interest in her toddler sibling (they do have their moments ).

Now of course this may or may not change as they age but at the moment it feels a bit like having two only children.

I know this doesn't cover the age topic (I was 25 and 37) but just wanted to give an honest perspective on the age gap side of things.

Thank you @ImDuranDuran did your eldest ever ask for a sibling? Our daughter has continually asked us since she was 3! Id like to think she would be really involved, she's very loving and motherly but of course I know that's my rose tinted glasses !

I'm 43 and currently 30 weeks pregnant with a shock pregnancy ((was on the pill!) we already have a 18 year old daughter and 13 year old son. Its taken time for the older kids to come round, my daughter is happier than my son at the moment, think my son is used to being the youngest and feel a bit threatened (I'm expecting a boy) As for my pregnancy it's been easy and straight forward so far just like in my 20s. Just the usual pregnancy symptoms.

She did when she was younger, it started to ebb-off around the early teen years.

Please don't feel guilt for having an only child - I am an only child and love it! Life gets the way and sometimes a baby just won't come when the mum wants it to! That said you can absolutely still try at this age! I'm 43 and thinking to try for a 2nd. First was born right before my 40th.

A little bit younger in that I had my second at 41 after hitting 40. My DH was worrying about our DD who was 6 at the time being an only child, I didn't think I'd fall pregnant again at that age, but I did and DD2 was born when DD1 turned 7. I'm fit and healthy, possibly a bit more tired this time round running after my now 2 year old, but wouldn't change it for a moment. My eldest was desperate for a sibling, and struggled in the first few months when the realisation hit of not having us to ourselves but is now just amazing with her little sister.

I’m 59 and my 3 all left years ago…..im granny now to 3 GD ….I honestly couldn’t imagine raising children at my age…,the menopause was brutal during my 50s…I just don’t have the energy now I had…..and I just love the freedom I have now to go away whenever I want and knowing that my money is my own, no financial dependants….. when I look back, at 43 I wasn’t much different to when I was 33…,but come 53 there was a massive change …..but lots seem to do it ….so if you do, I wish you well

Hi 👋🏽 can I join? 😘 I’m 44 and we have been trying for the past year. I’ve had 4 miscarriages in this time. But I’m feeling positive! Having acupuncture and Bowen therapy plus taking a shit load of supplements from “it starts with the egg” book. It’s costing an absolute fortune but I know it will be worth it 🥰 x

Hi @BigSmallFigBall @Hopefull441980 @Sab1981 @YogiBearcub wondering how you are all getting in with TTC or still thinking on it? I'm still on the fence, I've took a bit of a nose dive mentally over our losses and just don't know if I can go there again but desperate to fill the gap I feel we now have in the family. I'm terrified in all honesty of things going wrong, I have a tendancy to catastrophize! I'm permanently on here looking for posts from women our age. I've put a call into the fertility clinic as we have two frozen embryos but it's not going to be cheap. I just dont know what to do. Hope everyone is ok and further on than me!

If you want another baby and can get pregnant, why not? I wouldn’t do it to give your 10 year old a sibling, though. I doubt they’ll be that interested once they hit their teens.