Please tell me about all the good and lovely things with a newborn (particularly after c section)

[Cinai2]

I’d love to hear positive stories of these first few weeks with a newborn! I have a c section next week and currently I’m mostly scared how I will manage (the practicalities are taken care of, DH will be there for the first 10 days and then my mother afterwards, I also have a private midwife visiting daily for the first week). All I hear is that these first weeks are incredibly hard due to needing to recover but being awake and feeding 24/7, while getting mastitis, wound infections etc. I’d like to balance this with some positivity to look forward to meeting my baby, rather than to fear all the challenges that are ahead…would anyone like to share positive post partum moments and stories from these first few weeks?

It can be hard but not necessarily for everyone. I had an emergency c-section under general anesthetic and nearly died... The recovery was a million times better than I would ever have imagined. I loved watching my baby sleep, smelling her newborn goodness, watching her slow-mo little strecthes. It was awesome. I recommend protecting your wound with a pillow or something when you laugh or cough for teh first few days. As the days and weeks went on and it was appropriate I used scar patches which helped me feel like it was covered and also helped the scarring. You can attach a towel or sheet to the end of your bed to pull on to help you get up. Go easy with lifting the baby, but as long as you don't twist it should be fine after a couple of days. It sounds like you're really well prepared so I hope you enjoy it!

I was absolutely fine after my c section, yes it was a bit sore for a few weeks like you’d expect but nowhere near the horrors of recovering from my VBAC!! You do need to keep your wound clean (just gently, flannel and warm water) then give it some air as well. I’d have a shower and go and lie on the bed for a bit and leave DH with the baby so he got some bonding time as well.

The first few weeks with a newborn can be absolutely magical. Yes you’ll be tired and recovering but omg newborn snuggles and head sniffs are the best! Or you might struggle a bit, or a lot, or somewhere in between. Everyone has a different experience but if you’re well-supported it helps a lot.

I can't comment on the c-section recovery as I didn't have one, but despite exclusively breastfeeding I don't recognise the 'awake 24/7' or getting mastitis as they weren't my experience and won't necessarily be yours.

What I can tell you about is the overwhelming peace that comes with a tiny baby snoozing on your chest (mine's getting a bit big for this now and I miss it!), the joy of the first smiles, getting to know this new little person and learning how they tick, and seeing their personality form. Oh and obviously the new baby smell! I wish I could bottle it. We're still exclusively breastfeeding and I love the milky smell of his breath!

It's hard, I too had an emergency with GA so was dopey for first 48 hours etc.

If you can, a next to me cot may be helpful. I had one in hospital and it was amazing. Home was just the moses basket which meant more bending / stretching/ lifting, but even that was manageable.

Use all help possible. Do no housework, let others take over, and just enjoy the baby. It's actually freeing to have nothing but baby to focus on. (I had help to mind my older two).

It's not ideal to have 6 weeks no driving, but you'll be fine.

I totally understand why people are keen to prepare new mums for the difficulties post birth but it is such a shame that you've been made to feel like this!

I had a 4th degree tear the first time and a c section the second so a fair bit of recovery needed after both children and the weeks post birth remain some of the happiest of my life.

Getting to know your baby, lovely lazy afternoons on the sofa snuggling them and enjoying not being pregnant anymore! I'm not saying you won't have some hard moments but truthfully, the sheer joy of your baby will outweigh the pain x

Thank you for the replies…cuddling (and smelling) my newborn is one of the things I look forward to.

Yes it's hard. But you're not pregnant 😁😁😁

There's really nothing like a newborn snoozing on you while the rest of the house is empty

Even two weeks makes a huge difference. Just keep telling yourself "two weeks ago I was doing X, but now I'm doing Y and it's better"

I had a planned caesarean with my twins. I was very worried about how I would cope with two newborns after such a big operation but I was pleasantly surprised. It was nowhere near as painful as I thought and I was able to hold them and move around quite quickly, with painkillers. But managed to stop them after a few days. DH had two weeks off then I was on my own during the day. Obviously there were some down times but generally it was all fine. And even better when I could drive again and get out with them.

It's a magical time OP.

I have fond memories of sitting on the sofa with ds1 watching endless box sets while he fed. I love the way newborns stick one arm out while they sleep like they are trying to catch a bus! And their tiny little clothes. I could just cuddle them for hours.

Here are the joys:

You get to completely withdraw from social obligation. If you're not feeling up to it - say not today thanks.

The cuddles. You're baby will not this be this tiny for long, drink it in.

Self care - especially while your DH is there. Rest as much as you can. Eat well. Try and get out in the fresh air when you feel up to it.

Take each day as it comes and take no notice of the show offs with dream babies.

Honestly it is hard, and some of them just won't sleep or be put down.

BUT, it's grand really. I had sections both times and the recovery was fine, just take it slow and walk a little further each day.

‘No driving for six weeks’ is only worst case scenario. You can drive as soon as you feel able to perform an emergency stop.

Take in every smell and cuddle, it goes so fast - people kept telling me that but I didn't fully believe them (especially during this long sleepless nights at the beginning) , but then I blinked and DD is now 4!
My ELCS was a very positive experience both during and after. I was fortunate to recover quickly and had no complications. Take the help, avoid lifting or straining too much, rest when you've got help, stay hydrated and fed, follow the instructions for wound care.
The vast majority of women are absolutely fine, I was pretty much back to normal after a couple of weeks.

L

You're tired but you can sleep a lot too. It's a bubble for the first weeks and you basically get to snuggle with a sweet little blob a lot of time and kiss their little head and fingers.

I had a C-section last year. The couple of days spend in hospital weren’t great (but in the middle of the night I remember having the most magical moment with DD, just holding her thinking “she’s beyond perfect and this is what life is meant to be”.

Got home and got straight into bed. I slept for a few hours until DD woke up. I felt like I spent the next week just watching TV in bed with DD & DH. It was magical. The three of us in bed, watching favourite films (not feeling guilty) and feeling like there was nobody else in the world. It felt like every day was Christmas.

Imagine, guilt free time to relax/watch tele with this amazing cute little thing.

The first couple of weeks aren’t the hardest as they just want to eat and sleep.

Those first few weeks with my newborn were just magic. Very sleep deprived but so full of joy and wonder. Her dad and I just adored her straight away and we bonded as a couple over being her parents. I have lots of happy memories of sitting in bed together binge watching box sets while I breastfed and tried not to laugh because it hurt my section scar.

I'm due another baby in a few weeks and looking back at the photos from last time make me so excited for it. To be clear it was also exhausting and disorientating and I cried a lot worrying I was getting things wrong. But it was a very special time in my life and the c section at least ensured that when I met my baby I was rested and in control, so although obviously I was healing from major surgery I had dodged the potential trauma and exhaustion of labour which must also make the newborn days hard. So, swings and roundabouts.

If you have help you'll be ok post section. Don't push yourself, take advantage of any support that's offered, and accept that lounging around with your baby is the most important thing you could be doing. Get organised with plenty of snacks, phone charger, bottles of water at hand wherever your are settled, and keep nappy change supplies in several rooms so you don't need to go far. Have little walks when you feel well enough. Get the freezer full of meal options and don't fear the odd takeaway. It can be a really wonderful time. Gold luck!

I am envious of you!
I have had both of my now grown up children by emergency c section. 1969 and 1972. Both under general anaesthetic, and like a previous poster, nearly died during it.
In those days things were different, two weeks in hospital afterwards so back on your feet almost and all stitches out before you come home.
You still felt awful though.The reason why I am envious of you is that you are getting loads of help.I had very little.Husband back to work as soon as I had the first one, my mother hardly showing up as too busy, MIL giving occasion visits to cuddle the baby then vanishing.Second time husband working away at sea, did not show up all two months after.Mother too busy again except for the odd visit.MIL was a bit more helpful as she took my then toddler out for a few hours each day.I managed as I had too.Also the longitudinal scar, not the neat bikini one you get now.I did not attempt to breast feed as I knew no help available
You will manage fine, enjoy your baby and never shun any help!
I hope you don't think I am being cheeky, just that everyone has different lives, it would be boring if not.
You are very very lucky, make the most of it !
I am now a great grandmother, if I had not had cesarians it would have been a different story.
Please let us know how you get on, my love to you.

I very rarely reply to comments (unless I’m debating!) but this read as you were sitting in front of me, not just another anonymous post.

Every generation of women have different battles. I had a C-section last year, and it wasn’t pleasant (aftercare by overstretched NHS is all I have to say..) and it’s not something I’m particularly looking forward to next time (not pregnant but not looking forward to that either!) BUT, your comment made me think ‘actually it wasn’t that bad, DH was wonderfully supportive and getting home as a family of three was magical’.

I’ll just remember to batch cook more this time around as living off DH’s cooking wasn’t great. But then again, I’ll always remember yelling from the living room instructions on how much milk to use for mash potatoes.

Thankyou SoddingSoda

I found the first few weeks hard, but it's so worth it to be a parent. I think I'd read too many stories of people saying recovery was easy and I took it at face value so actually I found it harder than I'd expected. I think if you're expecting it to be hard then you're more likely to be pleasantly surprised than the other way round. I remember waking up after the first night in hospital looking down at DS thinking how cute he was and looking forward to DH arriving so we could snuggle him together. It's an amazing feeling becoming a parent.

Recovery is very much a spectrum. I literally bounced back physically from both my emergency sections. Dc2 was born early Thurs morning...midday Sat saw us in a cafe having lunch. I made up baskets with things like books, snacks, bottles of fizzy water so I could just crash on the sofa however small babies are very portable if you want/need to get out.

I watched dc2 be born and it was amazing, would absolutely recommend. I fell head over heels for her grumpy little face before her feet were even out of me. There is nothing like cuddling your baby for the first time. The smell, the things you notice...Dc1 had pointy hairy little ears like a baby werewolf.

I had a c section with my first. I found the recovery surprisingly slow, but other than how long it took me to get back on my feet, it was also surprisingly pain and trouble free. No infections or mastitis, I could do everything for my baby with the help of my husband of course. I found it hard to move around but it really wasn't so bad.
Those first newborn weeks are honestly magical, it's overwhelmingly beautiful and yes tiring but you'll manage.
My tip would be to stay right on top of the painkillers and also to take laxatives xxx

Honestly just them snoozing on you for hours is the best thing in the world. The milk drunk smiles.

Also I know it's silly but walking around town in the middle of a weekday with them in the sling, no where to be, nothing to rush to. The smiles when people see you in shops, strangers saying congratulations - there's nothing quite like a newborn baby. (Much better than the horrified looks I got when I was waddling around two weeks overdue 😂)

I had an EMCS and yes the recovery was hard it was better than I expected. First 48 hours were the worst part but after that it was better every day.

Nothing beats a snoozing baby curled up on you. I have photos of DD barely a few weeks old lying on me with her arms around my sides like she was giving me a big hug - just gorgeous.

I wish I had taken it a bit more easy than I did - I forced myself out for a walk after a few days and felt awful for it! There was no need - don't feel the pressure to be out and about if you don't feel up for it! Plenty of time for that later on!

Oh and take loads of videos! I treasure the few I did take - newborns make the funniest sounds! My fave is DD in the bath at around 8 weeks old and me encouraging her to kick her legs (and she did with a big smile!)

She's now 5 and just gone into year 1 - it really does go as quickly as they say. I believe the saying is the days are long but the years are short. It certainly rings true!