Please tell me about all the good and lovely things with a newborn (particularly after c section)

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I’d love to hear positive stories of these first few weeks with a newborn! I have a c section next week and currently I’m mostly scared how I will manage (the practicalities are taken care of, DH will be there for the first 10 days and then my mother afterwards, I also have a private midwife visiting daily for the first week). All I hear is that these first weeks are incredibly hard due to needing to recover but being awake and feeding 24/7, while getting mastitis, wound infections etc. I’d like to balance this with some positivity to look forward to meeting my baby, rather than to fear all the challenges that are ahead…would anyone like to share positive post partum moments and stories from these first few weeks?

Oh and the first smile - I remember the health visitor saying 'makes it all worth it right?' it really did.

I'm not a baby person - I don't think I had changed a nappy before DD ever! But the minute she was placed in my arms after birth she just seemed to calm down hearing my voice as it was obviously a familiar sound and a comfort. It really is the little things that are so magical.

Also (I'm on a roll now) the way your body responds is quite something to behold. The first jabs are obviously a bit stressful so as I was BF I whipped out my boob to feed DD to calm her down post-jabs and as my body was reacting to DD wailing I promptly sprayed milk over the poor nurse and her desk in the process!

C-section recovery is really not a problem, especially when it's a planned one. Remember, a planned one is much less 'traumatic' than an emergency one after the mum has been in labour for hours or maybe a day or so. You won't be incapacitated for weeks, I was home within about 24 hours of both of mine and I don't recall having much difficulty with daily activities.

Newborns, the first 12 weeks is chaos in many ways, just do whatever it takes to get through it, but it is also very special and you'll look forward to their little eyes opening in the morning (well, I did). Looking into a newborn's eyes is really something, especially just after they're born.

Snuggles with your newborn are the most magical thing. Line up some box sets, wear comfy PJs and enjoy the chance to settle in to the sofa with your new baby and absolutely nowhere else to be.

Honestly, the two things that were the hardest were sleeping and feeding. So if you have someone to hold baby while you sleep, and someone to help with breastfeeding, you are absolutely winning!

You will just marvel at the tiny fingernails - I could just stare at them all day.

I can't remember those first few months at all (baby is now 11 months), but I remember that everything practical was a lot easier than I was expecting.
I had (have) PND so I think I've blocked it out, but even through that haze I know that things weren't as bad as I was expecting.
Even the really hard bits are short-lived, and interspersed with less hard elements.

I enjoyed the lazy days, and having a really good excuse to laze about and spend the day relaxing at home.

The only bit I really remember and even then it is not a vivid memory, but I actually really enjoyed the night awakenings. It was just me and baby. There was no pressure to be up, no waiting for the midwife to visit, no pretending I was okay, and my anxiety levels were at their lowest. It was so calm and peaceful.

There were lots of hidden benefits, the best for me was everything was clean around the house as I didn't have the energy to cook (or in my case eat) so we didn't make a mess.

It's hard to not tell people about how hard it is, as I wish people had been more honest with me. I felt even though they said it was hard, I took that to mean in a very practical way. I didn't consider how hard psychologically it would be, even without PND.

3-4 days of main recovery I'd say. The first 2 definitely the worst but you'll be surprised how quickly you feel better.

Breastfeeding was a killer and couldn't find a good latch but not the end of the world. Currently have a thriving formula fed 2 year old as strong as the hulk.

It's hard. It's magical. Get all the help you can to catch up on sleep but try to soak up those special moments. If something is hard or baby isn't settled it'll seem like the end of the world but it's not. Things change quickly.

Take lots of videos. You forget because it's a bit mad but in months and years you'll yearn to see those tiny hands and feet again.

I had an ELCS, and although you have to take it easy(oh no, no vacuuming!) really didn’t have that much pain. Ibuprofen was enough and I was lucky and had no issues feeding. In the first week or two binge some good tv with good snacks and enjoy the teeny newborn snuggles and when they first give you a gummy smile 😊

Congratulations OP.

I had an EMCS and I was just so relieved that she was finally out and safe and well. I had an anxious pregnancy. Nothing beat that feeling - and simply the overwhelming feeling of “Wow. I’m somebody’s mum.”

Also, sorry to lower the tone for for TMI (welcome to pregnancy, childbirth and parenting!) but, in the run up to her birth, I was so scared of the first post vaginal birth poo! So even though I was a bit sad to not have the birth I wished for, I was really relieved that I didn’t have to worry about this after having a CS! 😂

My sections were painless, my recoveries surprisingly easy. I've had far worse periods. I was amazed. But it's a spectrum and nit everyone gets so lucky.

As for having a newborn, they were the best times of my life. It was far easier than being pregnant, and I found I snapped into role and it was like I'd been born for the job.

I spent the first few days, weeks and months seeing friends, eating cake, baby groups, meeting new friends and doing all the things I didn't have time too so when working, like visiting museums. I'd had a beer demanding job and got more sleep with a newborn then most of my adult life (they slept worse as older babies and toddlers and that's when it got tough though). I know we aren't supposed to compare maternity leave to a holiday, but for me it really was. I was the most relaxed and most rested I'd been in a decade and it prompted me to make some big light changes to never go back to how stressed I was.

And I got to have these lovely days with my tiny lovely little babies, with their tiny fingers that clasped mine, and their beautiful smelling heads.

If only I could bottle first first few months.

I’ve never had a c section so I will just tell you what I miss the most about the newborn phase. I am 5 months in and I loved having my family and partner looking after me (I can now cook for myself haha! And I loved it when they made me meals).

I loved the fact that they had a very simple routine. As the get older they are more wiggly, want to touch everything and are just bigger on your lap, when they are so small it’s nice having them fall asleep on you, when you are ready and if you want, carrying them in a sling after a few weeks was more e effortless.

Binging on so many tv shows as I spent most of the time on a chair - recovery was fine but you might be a little sore at first so having a comfy corner and nice warm PJs is great.

I had 2 one emergency and one elective.
I was driving 5 days after the emergency. I was up and about a few hours after. When I got home 4 days after the elective, I cleaned the house from top to bottom (idiot ExH had left it in a hell of a state) had to care for a newborn and a 2 year old alone because he was down the pub 24/7

I had a emergency CS after 36 hours of labour.
Recovery wasn't worse than my two first non CS births just different.

My best advice. Limit visitors. Take painkillers. Buy take away. Let husband do his part.

And enjoy baby!

As awful as my c sections were, I loved the tiny baby stage!
They do not stay as tiny babies for ever, it is when they are older and start answering you back, and going out and you wonder where they are, who they are with and what they are doing.
My two c section births are now adults, one is a grandfather, and I still worry!
I remember words from a hymn I leaned in my childhood, "Can a mother's tender care cease towards the child she bear?".

My section was brilliant. Planned. Lovely. Calming and healing after a particularly traumatic first vaginal birth.

I was so much more coherent and with it it was unreal. Probably to do with the fact I lost so much blood the first time round....anyway. Day 3 I was at the park with 3 day old DH and 2.5 year old. Week 3 back to 'normal' driving doing the nursery run etc.

Things to help. Take it steady and keep on top of pain meds. Set an alarm.

Take shifts with DH. We did this with both babies. It was a lifesaver. Harder if you're breastfeeding I suppose but we did 7-3am I was on duty and 3am-7am DH was on duty. We even slept in a different room. It meant we both got good chunks of sleep and carried this on after his 2 week paternity leave ended.

Don't feel pressured into raving to groups. Literally sit. On the sofa. And snuggle your newborn and watch trash tv. When you sit have phone charger snacks water and tv remote to hand and enjoy ALL the snuggles. You can't spoil a baby.

We did the same with the shifts for my first (and like you proper shifts, not 'dad does until his regular bedtime' ones 🙄). I was never really tired, it was amazing!

The second refused bottles from birth so even up being breastfed. I was so much more knackered.

Definitely share if you can.

I had all of those things go 'wrong' post c section (plus the baby's father leaving me the month before it!) but honestly the LOVE you have for your new little one is so amazing. Those snuggly days with them asleep on you is just magical. You've set yourself up well you'll be fine!