Responses to third pregnancy…

[Notunplanned]

I’m 10 weeks into my third pregnancy and have two children aged 3 and 1.

My husband and I have hoped to have three children since our eldest was born. We both have decent and stable jobs (he is full-time and I’m part-time), own a four-bed house and do not rely on family for childcare. We absolutely love being parents and I like to think we are good parents.

I know that my family will not react positively to this news - they are great in many ways but can be judgmental of people who make different life choices to them, and they have repeatedly said things like “you won’t see much of us if you have another”. So I’m anticipating that.

My husband’s family are more open-minded and I thought they would be less negative. I’ve told my mother- and sister-in-law this morning and they couldn’t have been less impressed.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to be excited about baby three, but I really don’t want to tell anyone else if everyone is going to be openly negative.

Not sure why I’m posting. Maybe I’ll just keep the whole thing a secret and let them know if the baby arrives safely.

Troll
How many siblings have you got out of interest? The last 20 years or so have seen families getting smaller & smaller. In the 80s most families had 3 or more. Most families near me had an average of 5. I'm not sure why you're taking the moral highground here.

Meant to mention that my Mum was one of 7 and Dad one of 14 !!

Love this 😍 my grandma was one of 14 too love big families

@mydogisthebest maybe stick with your dog as your name suggests, if you take that approach to children! Utterly ridiculous! FWIW, we are absolutely fine financially and do not rely on any benefits

Thanks to all the lovely well-wishers on this thread! And congratulations to all of you who are also expecting ❤️

I’m not sure what the pearl-clutchers are hoping to achieve here? I think there are echos of what I expect my family’s reaction will be - which is horror that anyone could make different life choices to them.

It might help you sleep at night to learn that we don’t qualify for child benefit or tax free childcare, so this embryo won’t have any impact on your wallets. We can well afford them. And, should some tragedy befall the entire family and lead us to become unexpectedly penniless, I would expect to be able to use the welfare state, to which I happily contribute.

It’s offensive to project some presumption that anyone with more than two children is a feckless scrounger. I’m sure all the wanted third babies on this thread will be adequately taken care of!

@Notunplanned couldn't agree more!! In fact, finances and being able to afford a third was a big thing for us!

People are never happy. We have one and plenty of pressure to give her a sibling. You are about to have a third and have the opposite. Ultimately, it's your decision and your family should support you, especially as it seems it's not going to mean any extra work or anything for any of them! (My parents look after DD during the week so it would be very different for them).

Good luck and congratulations from us, your kids will be so lucky to have each other.

Very pleased to have found this thread, also expecting no 3 and nervous about telling family! Although I've spoken about having a third many times in the past, I think the in laws in particular will be shocked because there's going to be a big age gap. I've told a couple of close friends who have been really excited (probably because they know how much I have longed for another but agonised over the decision for years for all the practical reasons!). We're definitely waiting until after the 12 week scan.

Hi @Threelittlebirds1 congratulations! How many weeks are you? And how old are your two? It’s lovely to find a community in the same position! Xx

Hi @8weekscrossed I'm only 5 weeks! DC are about to turn 9 and 7. I can't wait to tell them, they are always asking for a baby brother/sister! I'm hoping their excitement will help the in laws see the more positive side.
You must be so excited for your scan now!

I'm expecting no 3 aswell, was a complete shock to me and husband as i was on the pill and also I'm nearly 43 !! Once we got over shock we were happy. I'm 24 weeks now and expecting another boy. We already have a daughter who is nearly 18 and son aged 13. I have received quite a bit of negativity, due to my age, the fact it was unplanned, that we already have 1 of each gender, and the large age gap. So many people saying why on earth would you want to go through all the baby/ younger years again. I wish people could just keep quiet if there going to be negative!

I was pregnant with my 3rd when my 2nd was only 7 months, so it was a big surprise for us! My parents were thrilled, my in laws were less than, even though they never have, and still don't, have much to do with our children so I'm not sure why they felt the need to be bemused by it.

I'm now 11+3 with our 6th. We've not told anyone yet, we are waiting for the scan to make sure all is well, but you can imagine the reactions we're going to get this time!

I always have a suggestion for people yourself but MN would ban me (and rightfully so) if I actually voiced it to you 😉

OP, some people get congratulatory fatigue.

After the spate of being celebrated for your weddings, christenings, first girl, first boy, yada, in this time of life some of us just can’t expect exhausted cheerleaders to haul their sorry arses back onto the pitch for your benefit.

You’re doing it for you, not the applause. Enjoy - 3 is a lovely number of kids 🎉

Congratulations, on your happy news 👶🏼

I got some comments about gender, was it planned, my age, you must be mad, have you figured out what’s causing it, you’re game ……🤐 Some people have no filter!

I dont know why they cant just say congratulations, hope all goes well and leave it at that.

I will admit I have expressed surprise when people tell me they have five or more kids but its more in awe of how they manage that many kids.