Am I insane to ask for a c section?

[AnxiousSoonToBeMum]

The thought of natural birth terrifies me (the unpredictability of it, possibly more pain than I can handle, the risk of interventions leading to an EMCS, trauma and possible long term effects) so I’ve opted for an elective, a couple of friends had a very positive experience with it.

But I start to have doubts. There are 13 other women in my antenatal class and not one of them considers a section, unless necessary. In fact they look at me as if I’m mad.

Its major surgery, I have zero medical reasons to have one. I have a big frame and so far my baby measures average/slighlty below. I’m 33 weeks. My body handled pregnancy really well so far, I don’t have any pains or issues apart from occasional acid reflux, although I’m 41. Still going sport, I wouldn’t even say that I’m uncomfortable as everyone else seems to be at this stage of pregnancy.

Am I crazy to choose surgery under these circumstances? Do I let my fear of a natural birth get the better of me and cloud my judgement? I’ve done hypnobirthing and still don’t fancy natural, but at the same time I start to wonder if I make a wrong decision.

I had a scheduled c section. There were some medical reasons but it was still my choice.

I am not in the UK but I absolutely loved my experience. Recovery was absolutely fine. I have zero birth trauma and was able to really enjoy those early moments.

Birth preference is a personal thing so everyone is going to say different. It depends what YOU want and no one else experience or judgement x

I chose to have a section for my second birth after having a bit of a traumatic first birth.

I imagine it's the recovery that makes people think you're insane, I was pretty incapacitated for the first two weeks and my husband had to do pretty much everything and I had to lower my standards around the house being clean but I'm 3 weeks after surgery now and pretty much back to normal. In contrast, I was hoovering for guests coming day 2 after my first birth and drove us to the shops 4 days post partum as my husband didn't drive so the recovery was much easier with a vaginal birth.

I loved my section and I'd choose one again if we were to have anymore. It's totally personal, look at all the pros and cons and choose what's right for you!

Yeah, I think so.

Having had a c-section, however good your recovery is, it’s not as good as it would have been from a vaginal birth and you miss that time with your newborn. Labour is scary, but manageable, and most labours are lovely. My friends labour stories are brilliant, and I’ve always been quite envious that I didn’t get that.

It is personal choice, absolutely, but yours seems entirely based on fear. Which is fine if you’re happy, it’s your labour in the end, but I can see why they think it’s a crazy decision!

Be really well planned for recovery. I was walking again within a few hours and didn’t have a bedbound period, but it’s given me back pain that still hasn’t gone away nearly 3 years later, and it ruined my core muscles, which are hard to get the time and energy to focus on when you’ve got a toddler! I didn’t get the all clear to start exercising until he was toddling and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Scar care is really important and I underestimated how much my body shape would change - I’m back to my pre pregnancy size but can’t wear a lot of my old trousers because of the overhang. I know two people whose scars burst, which was pretty horrible.

I would erinktrly say it’s not an easier option.

Have you talked to your midwife about this? Birth doesn't have to be painful. With DS I was induced and had an epidural put in right at the begining and never felt any pain (until it needed adjusting half way through - but you will feel sensation returning and can request an anaesthetist to adjust it for you before you feel bad pain).

Look into using a peanut ball to keep your pelvis open and reduce the risk of emergency C-section as if you've got an epidural you won't be able to move around.

At 41 they'll want to induce you at around 39 weeks anyway. Chances are baby won't be ready to come out and the induction process could be drawn out (speaking from personal experience with having a baby at 41 in 2022), your request for a section isn't unreasonable and you need to do what makes you more settled and comfortable. You'll get lots of different views and experiences, but at the end of the day you've chosen it for your own reasons and that's all that really matters. For what it's worth my first was delivered vaginally without induction and a great experience, second was induction and less so, both my experiences were very different

OP - you are absolutely within your rights to ask for a C Section without any explanation other than it's your preferred birth plan. Talk to your midwife and ask to speak to a consultant.

I had exactly the same anxieties that you mention about interventions and an induction. As a result my consultant agreed that we would see what happened and if my son decided to come or his own accord, they put me in for an elective c section at 41 weeks. I still prepared mentally for a natural birth by doing a hypo birthing course and the hospital ante natal courses etc. But knowing that I didn't have the prospect of an induction, complications and then end up having an emergency c section in the end anyway just took away so many anxieties.

As I look back, I think my body was telling me what to do. My son was engaged from 36 weeks but made absolutely no indication he was going to come out by himself and we ended up with the c-section. It was really calm, relaxed and I knew was to expect. The first things the midwives said when they measured his head was 'thank god he was a c-section'

So I would say, listen to your own intuition.

As a bit of useful information, you may hear from people that hospitals are reluctant to offer elective c sections. This was historically the case, because the number of c sections done by maternity units were as a metric for their success. The idea being they were failing the more they did. Of course this led to c sections not being done even though it was clearly the safest option. And sadly there were many tragic outcomes. Luckily they have changed this way of thinking and no longer use the number of c-sections as a measure of success...

That said, there will be some midwives and doctors who I think still are resistant. But you can keep asking.

Yes the recovery is going to be different and you will need to plan how you are going to manage not driving for six weeks. There is a myth about not being able to lift your baby. Again this is not true - of course no heavy lifting but during your recovery, your baby will be tiny enough for you to lift.

C-sections have been practiced for millennia as a way of safely delivering babies when a vaginal delivery is just not possible. Babies heads are getting bigger but women's hips are not. C sections are therefore a human adaption to ensure survival.

Try not to get drawn into comparison with other people's birth plans, especially if it feels like you're doing the wrong thing - I find this was a very common way of other people justifying their own actions in their own minds rather than meaning to be critical.

Good luck and enjoy the ride. It's the easiest and hardest thing you will do, however your baby is welcomed into the world. But totally worth it xxx

I had an emergency c-section two weeks ago today and wish I’d gone for a planned section from the beginning. My recovery has been so much better than expected, I was able to go for a walk to a cafe on day 5 and feel about 90% recovered at day 14.

Even though it was an emergency, I felt so calm and relaxed during it and the operation itself was done so quickly.

I had done hypnobirthing prior to going into labour and fully expected to be able to cope by just doing the breathing exercises and no pain relief which was definitely not my experience! Yes it is major surgery and not something to rush into but do lots of research and decide what is best for you, and don’t let anyone make you feel uncomfortable about the decision you make.

I’m asking for a c section for very similar reasons. I also get the same looks! I don’t know if mine will be granted yet but my midwife seemed happy enough with my reasons. I think you’ve carried and grown a baby for 9 months and you want to know they can come out in the best way for you. Everyone is different and I’m sure if we could all guarantee the baby will arrive on a certain day with a complication free labour we’d all be happy to have one 😂

Not ‘crazy’ but pregnancy and birth obviously come with some risks, with different risks for vaginal birth and surgery.

Wouldn’t discuss your situation with other pregnant women who have made different decisions. If you’re unsure would use quality online information about your options and/or speak to a health professional, if you have trust that they will provide evidence based info.

After two c sections I wish I had natural. But you are always going to get people who are in favour and others that think it's mad .
The unknown is such a worry . For all you know you may have a very quick natural birth . No issues .
But same goes for planned c section . You may find it very manageable.
Only thing with c section planned or not is it is hard going after . Even if some people are saying they are ok after 5 days. You can't get back to normal for several weeks . And a lot of pain is involved.
It sounds very sensible that you have considered this so much. Good luck whatever you decide.

I had a section for my first due to breech, and a vbac with my second with diamorphine (so minimal pain until the very quick pushing stage). It took me many weeks to walk past zombie speed after the section, and I was in absolute agony for a couple of weeks. That's why I opted for the vbac - I was right, despite the shoulder dystocia and deep 2nd degree tear, I was bouncing around the same day, nothing beyond a little soreness from the stitches when I walked too much. I was on absolute high for a long time.

I was indecisive the second time round though. At one point I had an induction and a section booked for week 41, but did go in to labour after 2 sweeps at 40+6.

If you've considered the recovery, which varies hugely from a doddle to living hell (mine healed beautifully with no complications, I must have a super low pain threshold), then opt got a section if that's what you need. It doesn't matter what other people think.

I had an EMCS for my third, and honestly wish I'd just chosen to have an elective because I'd endured a 5 day induction and got to 10cm dilated, pushing the whole caboodle and ended in EMCS anyway.

Having had two previous vaginal deliveries, I can't say the recovery was any worse. The key with a c-section is to get and keep mobile, the temptation is to lie around recovering but it doesn't help. I was up and about pretty normal straightaway, had quite minimal pain (in contrast after my first vaginal delivery I hurt all over my body, like I'd been in a car crash), and I had no discomfort down below which was a blessing as previous two births had resulted in stitches. (Which also meant I was a lot more comfortable in the bedroom department when it came down to it - not important to everyone, but important to me, and I had the FEAR after my previous births and it was a good while before it felt right).

I did get a slight infection in my c-section wound but that was cleared up easily with some antibiotics. I was back driving around as normal within two weeks (the six weeks thing is a total myth, you can drive when you feel safe to do so).

After 2 very quick natural births , which I believe were easier as I was quite sporty, I had a c section. It was recommended by the doctor due to rising blood pressure. I was gutted . The recovery was much longer and I still have a “pouch” . But it’s your choice .

You’re not mad at all!! I had one and it was the best experience I have ever had. The birth was calm, relaxing, painless. I was discharged within 12hrs and I was walking around the park on day 3! I had no issues picking the baby up etc. I took paracetamol and ibuprofen regularly for 3 days and felt no pain at all. I would have another one tomorrow!!

I had a planned c-section with my first and it was so straight forward, pain free and I was prepared for a long recovery but after the first few days I was a-ok. I have an underlying health issue so it was granted quickly. A c-section is your right though and if you want it they have to accept that.
Also the no driving thing is a lie, I called my doctor and he said if you can do an emergency stop then your fine, I called the insurer and same answer, so if you feel able to do that, you can drive.
I had an induction with my second which was not great and failed, so then went in for another planned c-section, wish I hadn't fannyed about with the induction and skipped straight to the c-section again.

I'm also 33 weeks here and feel exactly the same as you do, don't really know how to go about it. I felt the same at my antenatal class, everybody there seemed very happy to go natural but I completely get your feeling of being so scared of the unpredictability of a natural birth. I've been considering speaking to my midwife about booking one in for, say, 39 weeks and if I go into labour before then then I will try for a natural birth instead but would just be nice to have some sort of solid plan in place even if things end up changing. You don't always need a medical reason, sometimes it just has to be what you're most comfortable with.

You're absolutely right to look at all the options open to you, but a c section is a big operation and obviously not without risk or complication.
You may find your labour progresses without any complication, and there are pain relief options at all stages of labour.
I have had both normal labour and elective section (due to medical reasons, not simply my request) so I can speak from both sides. My first section and recovery went swimmingly, my second absolutely didn't. It isn't as simple as just choosing a section, there are huge implications in opting for major surgery. Talk to your midwife/obstetrician, they will be able to help you look at options available to you.
Good luck!

I wouldn't let fear influence your decision. I have had 5 vag births and a hysterectomy. The recovery from the surgery was hard and I struggled with being in pain and uncomfortable for weeks, were as after the births I was fine within days. I was induced for the last 3 as they were high risk pregnancies and I will admit that this made them more medicalised and harder than the first two but again it's more pain for shorter time than the surgery recovery. I had an epidural for the last 3 and it took most of the pain away but I could still feel the contractions so new when to push and followed what my body needed me to do and didn't need any other interventions. Our fears are normally much worse than the reality of a situation.

At 41 they'll want to induce you at around 39 weeks anyway.

Just to respond to the below, they'll want to induce you at 39 weeks but by no means do you have to agree. I'm 40 and likewise had a trouble free pregnancy. The consultants were keen to induce or book a planned c-section from 38 weeks but I refused to entertain the idea of either until I was 41 weeks as a minimum, unless it became medically necessary. As it happened I went into spontaneous labour at 40+4 anyway and had him 20 hours later.

I was actually quite looking forward to labour, but so averse to induction that had I gone significantly overdue I would have opted for c-section over induction I think.

Entirely up to you anyway OP, but I just wanted to point out that if you and baby are healthy and happy that you don't have to submit to any pressure.

If I would meet you after birth, I wouldn’t say anything. But as you are asking on a public forum for opinions: I think it’s bonkers to ask for a c-section without risk indications. Your body was made to do this.

Having had a c-section, however good your recovery is, it’s not as good as it would have been from a vaginal birth

I think you mean…

“Having had a c-section, however good your recovery is, it’s not as good as it would have been from a straightforward vaginal birth where everything goes well and mother and baby are injury free.”

The fact remains that on a cohort level, an ELCS is safer than a vaginal birth, for mother and for baby.

For me, I absolutely do not want an instrumental delivery (10-12% chance at my local hospital), and the fact that one in three vaginal births ends up as an emergency caesarean there is also something I wish to avoid. An ELCS is a no-brainer.

Thank you to everyone who has replied, I appreciate all the views and perspectives!

Personally, an ELCS is not for me, but everyone views birth differently, and you should do what feels right for you. My sister and I both ended up with forceps deliveries after our first babies. To be fair, hers was more complicated / emergency than mine. She now says she would do an ELCS for any future children, non-negotiable. Me? I'm opting for a home birth for this pregnancy. We all view birth, risk etc differently. Just do what feels right for you and ignore all the opinions around you, its just noise.

I’ve had both - C-section due to position and then a vaginal north for twins - I refused a second C-section.

The recovery was quicker, I could get up straight away and feed the babies, didn’t have to ring the bell for the nurse to pick up the baby or adjust the bed. I had a rush of hormones which made me feel like I could do anything! I could pick up my 2 year old and drive.

I could get breakfast, my legs weren’t swollen, I would wee without pain.

I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have a serious reason to do so.

@AnxiousSoonToBeMum Don’t listen to people who are “gutted” to have a c section. We don’t all think like this.

I had two epidurals. No pain at all. After effects don’t last long. Just so easy.