Am I insane to ask for a c section?

[AnxiousSoonToBeMum]

The thought of natural birth terrifies me (the unpredictability of it, possibly more pain than I can handle, the risk of interventions leading to an EMCS, trauma and possible long term effects) so I’ve opted for an elective, a couple of friends had a very positive experience with it.

But I start to have doubts. There are 13 other women in my antenatal class and not one of them considers a section, unless necessary. In fact they look at me as if I’m mad.

Its major surgery, I have zero medical reasons to have one. I have a big frame and so far my baby measures average/slighlty below. I’m 33 weeks. My body handled pregnancy really well so far, I don’t have any pains or issues apart from occasional acid reflux, although I’m 41. Still going sport, I wouldn’t even say that I’m uncomfortable as everyone else seems to be at this stage of pregnancy.

Am I crazy to choose surgery under these circumstances? Do I let my fear of a natural birth get the better of me and cloud my judgement? I’ve done hypnobirthing and still don’t fancy natural, but at the same time I start to wonder if I make a wrong decision.

I think it's important to appreciate that the recovery from a vaginal birth is as varied and unpredictable as a c-section.

No doubt, it he quickest recovering will be after a vaginal birth with no complications. I was very lucky after my c-section that it healed quickly and no issues with the scarring. But I know this is not everyone's experience.

I also know of women who have had longer recoveries after a vaginal birth due to tearing and also the added exhaustion of prolonged labour and no sleep for days, only to undergo the stress of an emergency c-section.

I think one of the greatest causes of anxieties for new mothers is probably caused by exactly what we are all doing. We only can draw on our own experiences whether negative or positive and I think with motherhood in general, there is a tendency to get defensive about how we did it because non of us want to feel like we didn't do best by our baby.

OP - the anxieties you feel are totally valid and the very fact you are exploring the options open to you in order to ensure your birth experience is the right one for you and your baby tells me you are doing everything right already xxx

I had a much better recovery from my elsc than my 1st natural birth. I had an episiotomy which they stitched too tight & i struggled to walk or pee or drive for months. I was induced, baby had pooed and i was so worried the whole, long day when i didn’t progress. Thankfully she was fine but i was exhausted and sore.

2nd time i went for elsc - knew the date in advance to prepare. Was fairly relaxed in the hospital until i was taken down. Spinal was easier than the 3 attempts they had did 1st time to get an epidural in. I was up next morning for a shower and forced myself to walk and move. Did all baby care myself and was home next day. Pain killers weaned down over the first week, could get up & down stairs st home slowly & was out and about pushing pram (gently walking) after day 3. Drove after a month i think - easier and less painful than the episiotomy. Episiotomy i couldn’t be intimate with my husband for about 6 months & it was agony. No further pregnancies through choice but i would have had another elsc if i did. Whole experience and recovery was much better however i think that was down to being in control. I have friends who had emergency sections and struggled with recovery as well as the shock from it all and after a long labour their bodies were exhausted as well. I also have friends who have laboured with no issues. Even with their first - few hours from contractions starting to babies being born with just a bit of gas and air. We are all different. Whilst i feel my 2nd experience and particularly my recovery was easier and ultimately “better” i’m just glad my babies were ok and neither birth led to a “better” bond - there was no difference.

i think i should have been taken for a section sooner but i think they push it as long as possible hence the panic when some woman need rushed round to theatre but i do think all woman should at least try to give birth naturally rather than just opt for a section as its major surgery at the end of the day with longer recovery. More staff needed etc.

I was so upset that i had to have a c section for my 1st baby (severe IUGR and placenta previa) but it was a great experience and have elected for another this time round. There’s no right or wrong and someone will always have something to say! 🤷🏼‍♀️ good luck whatever you decide

I had a planned c-section (no other reason than that I wanted one - didn't want the risk of a third or fourth degree tear and i incontinence problems). Recovery from a planned c-section tends to be a lot easier than an emergency one. I had by section at 1pm, and was out of bed and hobbling around my 10pm that night. Discharged the next day, and was going for short walks within a couple more days. No issues looming after my newborn. My recovery was a lot quicker and easier than many of my friends who had vaginal births.

I chose to have a c-section this time with my 4th the others were natural births but this time round my anxiety was too much with the unpredictability of it and the fact my husband didn't qualify for paternity leave so had to book the time off so I found c-section to be the best option for me this time plus i got a sterilisation done at the same time, the procedure was a nice experience not scary at all and the recovery has been fine and not as bad as people make out, it is perfectly OK for you to choose it just like it's perfectly OK for a woman to choose any other type of birth

Not crazy at all. I had a "natural" birth with my first and it was an awful experience, he was stuck and I ended up with a forceps delivery and panicking about having a second child. The hospital sent me to afterbirth counselling but it still didnt help.

I had to fight for a CV section for my second pregnancy, and it wasn't until my 35 week check up that they eventually agreed, but it was well worth the fight, my daughters CS birth was lovely, calm and soothing and she immediately breast fed unlike DS who was so out of it after all the drugs they gave me slept for a week after birth and had to be force fed formula!

Also, I didn't find the recovery too bad, I had a 2.5yr old at home and I was able to cope with looking after him and the baby.

I'm not saying that your experience will be anything like mine, but if that's what you want fight for it.

Going through the pain of labour has made me a mentally stronger and more resilient person. I'm glad I've experienced giving birth naturally as I feel connected to the millions of women who came before me, and feel especially thankful for modern medicine. I also feel privileged to have pushed my body to its limits, in a way that men cannot even imagine.

I've had 2 ELCS and I loooooved them both. The first was because DS was breech, but I point blank refused an ECV and opted to go straight to the section. I recovered really fast - I found recovering from having my wisdom teeth out infinitely worse.

#2 was just an ELCS. I point blank refused to even consider a VBAC. I file it under ultramarathons and bungee jumping as "good for you, not for me".

Going through the pain of labour has made me a mentally stronger and more resilient person

This is the argument male Japanese obstetricians use so as to deny birthing women pain relief in labour.

How very patronising! 😁

I had plenty of gas n air and general pain relief. I'm entitled to my own opinion based on my own experience. I'm not patronising anyone. Nor am I male.

I'm not using my experience as 'an argument'. When I'm finding life really rough, I think back to the experience I had during labour and know I can get through whatever I'm facing. Remembering the feeling of the contractions and the pain helps me during tough times. It reminds me that I'm a strong women who can't be bossed around by obnoxious men, particularly at work. Just my own experience which I wouldn't have had from an elective c-section.

I had two planned c-sections with my children, and they were both fantastic. I wa sup and about walking the afternoon of the c-section and felt very normally a few days afterwards. I did make sure I didn't lift anything and took it easy for the first few weeks.
Had amazing skin to skin time with both children straight away, my milk came in so there was so disruption to breastfeeding...I don't regret it for a second.

People might say the recovery from a vaginal delivery is quicker, but it depends on complications.

I had 20 hours of active labour back to back contractions that ended in emergency cesearean. I was totally exhausted. I am choosing an elective cesearean this time so I can walk into the hospital in the morning refreshed and ready to look after a newborn. Not off the back of an awful labour then surgery anyway.

Everyone focuses on the recovery time after, but it's also about the time leading up to delivery as well which can leave you more rested afterwards if you've not had sleepless nights and hours of labour.

Everyone focuses on the recovery time after, but it's also about the time leading up to delivery as well which can leave you more rested afterwards if you've not had sleepless nights and hours of labour.

Exactly @UrsulaSings123 I had five days of induction and no sleep on the post-natal ward before going into active labour. I was exhausted and on the verge of discharging myself because they kept delaying moving me to the labour ward as they were busy. In the end, I said I was leaving, and the head of midwifery came and found me a quiet room to sleep in before I was taken through. It was horrendous, and I was knackered. How can anyone have an effective labouring experience when they are on their arse?

Yes I didn't mention I'd already been in hospital for 4 days being induced so before going into active labour I'd already had sleepless nights! I was awake for a total of nearly 48 hours in the end as they took me down to labour ward to break my waters at 11pm in the evening!

I will never, ever be induced again!

I had an EMCS with first child.

VBAC with 2nd.

The second experience, while exhausting, was much much better post-partum wise.