Husband unable to attend 36w growth scan

[Pregnantthenscrewed]

This is my 2nd baby, fingers crossed no issues so far. My husband has realised he now has an urgent meeting with work where he needs to be in Manchester for a day which happens to fall on my 36 week growth scan date (in about 4 weeks time) I am beyond upset that he can’t come, what happens if there is bad news etc? Also they will likely discuss my birth plan because I had a c section last time.

what shall I do? Is it a big deal if he can’t come? Are they able to move appointments?

I think you’ll be able to handle this. Now XH (was DH at the time) came to zero appointments foe DC2. It was fine, and they confirmed a planned CS was necessary.

You'll be fine to go by yourself. Unless you have someone else you can take with you?My husband worked away and only attended a handful of appointments. Good luck OP X

Can someone else go with you?

Just ring up and ask to move it, I've moved maternity appointments a few times and it's always been fine

The only scan my husband missed was this one. It was fine. Bit weird him not being there but the sonographers are more chatty because you’re by yourself. She spent a while showing me babies hair. There wasn’t any labour discussions, they were saved for midwife appointments.

It’s not a big deal, go for the scan ❤️

Could you go with a friend or family member? I went with a friend to a scan as her dh couldn't go

My DH only came to the main 12 wk/20 wk scans. I had growth scans throughout the third trimester and he didn't come to any, it's hard to get the time off work. The birth plan is for you to agree and decide with the consultants, surely he will do whatever you want - its your birth not his. Discuss your options with him beforehand and make sure you are on the same page with needs and wishes. You can feedback any changes afterwards.

I do sympathise, it would be lovely for him to be there and I know it feels very stressful having to make all of these medical decisions for yourself and your baby but in reality he won't have any say/opinion apart from ensuring that you both are safe.

I went to most of my scans on my own or with my toddlers. Dh went to the 12 and 20 week ones with me. Can your dh get back quickly in the unlikely event that they discover a problem? although if the growth scan is in 4 weeks I'm assuming they don't think it's likely to be an urgent problem.

Ring them and change the appoitment

Work has to come first. Take a friend, if you don't want to go alone.

In my experience most people come to growth scans on their own.

I'm another one who went to scans by myself. It's good to be able to do these things by yourself sometimes. It brings confidence and more independence.

I did all my scans and appointments by myself as DH was sleeping between night shifts hence I don't think it's a big deal if you attend by yourself. But if you don't want to/cannot deal with it then change your appointment.

I had 10 growth scans with my last pregnancy and dh couldn't be there for loads of them. It was a total non issue to me. Yabu.

I went alone and it was my first born. Tbh it wasn't very interesting as the baby was too big to see much at that stage and we didn't discuss birth plans. I don't think my DH missed anything. My birth plan wasn't worth the paper it was written on but that's another story!

I went to loads of scans alone with both my pregnancies. I was high risk and had a lot of appointments. DH attended 12 and 20 week with my 1st. With my second it was COVID and he wasn't allowed to attend anything. Rearrange it if you want or take a friend/ family member.

This happened to me a few weeks ago with my 12 week appointment. If you can't rearrange, could you afford to book a private one at window to the womb a few days before the 36 week one? That should put your worries to rest

This is a weird concept to me, I can't imagine booking time off work for both of you for all appointments 🤷🏼‍♀️ my partner came to one private gender or 4d scan for both my pregnancies and that's it. I did also have a loss between my two kids confirmed at a 14 week scan.

Surely you don't need him there?
I mean, what for?

Another person who went to most scans myself here. He really wouldn't be much use if he was there. It's your medical appointment.

My DH came to my 12 and 20 week scans in my 3 pregnancies but none of the others. It was fine, I didn’t need him there.

I wouldn't be bothered but then I quite like going to the appointments myself. My last pregnancy was during the back end of COVID so there's probably a lot of us on here that had to go alone to all scans and all midwife appointments. This time my husband has been at my 12 week scan and will come to my 20 week scan but that's it. We are happy with this arrangement but if something was urgent then obviously he would come, I wouldn't think a 36 week growth scan would mean he should miss a day off work personally.

DH couldn’t come to any of my dc2 scans because it was during covid, like millions of others. It was fine! It would have been nice for him to have been at one but honestly, if he’s been at 20 weeks that’s the best anyway. By 36 weeks the baby is really squished in there and it’s very difficult to see anything properly. If all has gone well so far you are extremely unlikely to be given bad news. You can do this.

I went to most scans by myself. Had to, I was having growth scans every 2 weeks with a fluid and placental blood flow scan between each one. It was literally at least one a week. He couldn't take off work that much and at any appointment they could have said they're doing xyz. He made a few when he could but couldn't be helped. Unless its absolute emergency life or death it won't be immediate. 36 weeks they won't induce unless absolutely necessary, they prefer to wait until 39 if they can. Go, if more questions ask for another conversation with consultant afterwards that DH can attend.

My DH missed this one. It ended up being a complicated one for me as the scan showed baby being breech so i had to have various discussions with the obstetricians about ECV vs c section etc afterwards and it was helpful to have a second person with me for that. But you could always ask to come back the next day with DH to discuss further with a doctor if you needed to. We arranged a teams call with the birth options midwife for the next day when we could both be there. I then had a midwife appt after the scan where it was discovered that my BP was very high so i had to be monitored for a bit, get medication etc. I ended up not getting home until after 7pm even though my scan was at midday 😳

So even though it should be fine to do it by yourself, it might be helpful to have a back up for childcare for your eldest in case you get held up at the hospital for any reason.

DH didnt come to my other growth scan (28w) or the 20w scan as our eldest had been sent home from nursery with a D&V bug that morning.

If its 4 weeks away though, you could probably just ring and ask if there are any slots for the next day.