Did anyone find out the sex but not tell anyone?

[Elisabeth3468]

Thinking of finding out but just keeping it to ourselves. MIL said she really doesn't want to know the sex until the birth and so did my dad.
I know it's not about them and I wasn't going to find out but has anyone found out and kept it to themselves?
I keep going backwards and forwards. Maybe I should just be patient and wait till the birth.

If anybody asked I just said we didn't know.

Yes! We found out, so we could narrow down names, but didn't tell anyone. None of their business what our baby's genitals look like. Such a weird question if you stop to think about it, imo! And we didn't want to receive a bunch of gendered gifts and cards, that is just not our parenting preference. (Sorry if that sounds ungrateful.) Totally didn't work, because as soon as the baby was born, everything everyone sent or said to us was super stereotyped anyway.

Can I just make it clear that when I said we would find out and not tell anyone that I meant also say to people we don't know... so they are none the wiser.
Anyway we have decided we aren't finding out now anyway.

I am one of those “weird and precious” people. We found out but didn’t want to tell people. I wanted to know because I don’t like surprises & it would help me bond. But I just didn’t want to tell anyone else. 🤷 Wasn’t a huge deal.

think it’s fine to find out and tell people you don’t know as well. I think lots of people probably do that so go for it!

My mum let my dad find out with my brother but didn't want to be told herself, only managed a few weeks

Just wait. It's so nice finding out on the day and I was so glad we waited both times.

We did this. We didn't tell them we knew in general.
There's nothing precious about not telling people your personal information. It's your baby not theirs, they don't have a right to any information, it's entirely your choice.

Yes and baby we found out for ourseovea for logistics..want to surprise the family so not telling them.

I honestly don't get why it's such a surprise. I mean, it's a one or the other situation, it's not like there is a range of options it could be. We found out with both of ours and for ds1 my mum decided she didn't want us to tell her. It was a pain to be honest as we had to refer to him as the baby / it whenever talking to her. I think she realised with ds2 and allowed us to tell her once we knew. Just easier all round if everyone knows the same info.

We did and didn't regret at all. I get so irritated when people ask what the sex is! If I wanted to say I'd tell.

It's nobody's business but it's nice to know so you can prepare.

Because guarding something like it’s a state secret is nonsense. It’s your choice - find out the sex and tell, or don’t find out and don’t tell. Finding out and then being coy or sniffy about people asking is the remit of people who are extremely hard work

Weird POV.
I'd like to point out it's totally impossible to not know the sex now unless one has been really lucky to never stumble upon an article explaining the nub theory. It's almost 100% accurate and unless one doesn't look at the screen at all during the 12 week scan, it's impossible to not realise.

Especially as we had lots of scans, every 2 weeks for various reasons. There is so much knowledge out there now, and scans are crystal clear - not sure how one can ignore the sex unless one has a super straightforward pregnancy with only 2 scans and one looks away from the screen for the 12 week one.

Which surely requires insane discipline..

That’s such a disingenuous and incredibly unpleasant way to characterise what you know perfectly well is a completely normal question from your friends and family.