Anxious about giving birth

[Mamtobe2024]

I'm a first time mum to be, I'm currently 24+4 and the further along I am getting the more I find myself thinking more about birth and I'm getting quite anxious about it to say the least.

I think for me it's the unknown and not knowing what to expect which is making me anxious and as a first time mum I really don't know what I'm in for however I was just wondering if anybody has any tips for not getting too worked up about it? I know it's a nerve wracking thing but I do want to try and stay as calm as I can and not get myself into panic mode when the time comes 😊

I was exactly the same. My friend recommended the Positive Birth Book and it was soooo helpful. Understandably you'll still have some worries but it really helped me to understand what to expect and what's actually going on in the body during the stages. Can't recommend it enough!

Hey, ive got 5 kids, been through different labours/ deliveries, my 1st was induced labour, had my waters broken, epidural, episiotomy and forcep delivery, 2nd was spontaneous labour, pushed my water sack out (gross haha), gas n air, natural delivery, 3rd was twins and planned c-sec, and finally last was induced labour, waters broke the day before on their own, gas n air, natural delivery, Feel free to ask me any questions, my top tip for keeping calm is have someone with you who can make you laugh but can also be strong enough to pull you back when they see you’re getting anxious and scared xx

Just remember you get no medals at the end for not having pain relief

I'm same weeks as you - my mindset is that many women give birth every day all over the world, and the majority in far worse contexts than us in the UK. And if it was that bad, everyone would be an only child. it's got to happen - and don't see it as a failure if you decide to use pain relief etc. All I want is a healthy baby, don't care how I get there!

Think about how many women have given birth for you to even be here! We are designed to give birth :)

How was it OP...?

I am 36 weeks pregnant with my second, and guess who's searching 'birth anxiety' 🤦 I'm absolutely terrified and considering doing a hypnobirthing refresher!

It wasn't a great time if I'm completely honest. I ended up getting pre eclampsia at 40+4 and had to be induced. I was induced with the pessary and the hormone drip and unfortunately as soon as I was put on the hormone drip my baby was really stressed. Was in labour for 17 hours, in the end he got stuck so had to go to theatre and it ended up in a forceps delivery. It's been a tough recovery due to tearing etc and I've found it hard getting over my birth as I found it abit traumatic without sounding dramatic haha!

But baby boy is now 10 weeks old and he is the best thing to ever happen to me so it was all worth it! It's so normal to feel anxious and I think if I was to do it again I'd certainly still feel anxious even though I've done it before 😂 just remember you've done it before so you can most definitely do it again, we're made to do it. You've got this! I hope it goes well for you lovely x

Oh no, I'm so sorry you had a rough time of it! It doesn't sound dramatic at all, that sounds like exactly what I'm scared of so no wonder you were a bit traumatised by it all! I had a really straightforward first birth compared to yours and am still panicking now which makes me feel a little bit silly

I'm so glad your baby boy is well and hope you are taking care of yourself, that fourth trimester can be intense 💗

Honestly as scary as it was I just went with it and the doctors etc were all amazing! The recovery was the worst part for me as I had to be cut and I also had a 2nd degree tear however I will say it's not as bad as I was expecting it to be! Remember most births do go to plan and are straight forward it's only a small percentage that have complications. Don't feel silly for panicking it's completely normal, birth is a scary thing and the unknown causes so much anxiety. For me that's what was the hardest approaching birth the unknown and not knowing what to expect as you don't know how things will go.

For me in the end I just accepted what will be will be. Giving birth is such a big thing so feeling anxious is a normal response. I'm sure everything will go smoothly like it did with your first. I totally understand where you're coming from.

I'm getting there, being a mum is hard work haha and I didn't quite realise how hard it would be but he's worth it and that's all I keep thinking it may be hard but it's going to be worth it. I'm here if you ever need a chit chat about anything! Xx

Reading all your positive stories and the support given is amazing
I'm 47 and was too scared to have a child, so I didn't. I'm a bit sad as I wished you guys had been around when I did have a time of thinking maybe I'd like a child . ...

I have always been anxious about the unknowns of a vaginal birth - risk of baby getting into distress, tearing, pain, long labour, incontinence in the future etc, so I chose to have a c section.

it’s still scary as it’s surgery but it’s a very chill experience as it’s all planned and calm and I found recovery very easy. Home the next day and pushing the pram on walks after a week.

Yeah that was my fear before I gave birth and my baby ended up distressed due to the hormone drip and then he got stuck so ended up in theatre for a forceps delivery. Which resulted in an episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear, I think If I had another baby I'd consider a c section as my birth did traumatise me abit

my first ended in episiotomy and 3-4 degree tear forcep delivery and i have also had a planned c-section and would take the planned c-section over a forcep delivery any day, but would avoid either where possible, ive had 2 births that have gone smoothly and the recovery time is so much easier, its always worth trying for a normal smooth delivery even though its unknown and scary xx

@Avie29 ouch I can't imagine how painful a 3rd/4th degree tear was! I'd love a straightforward birth and because my first delivery has been traumatic I am abit traumatised to have another baby. I would like another as I've always wanted two but if my birth went like how it did the first time I'd be petrified. I mean I know I could always opt for a c section but I know that's difficult aswell and don't really want to put myself through it. Hopefully if I do choose to have another it all goes to plan this time xx

@Mamtobe2024 tbh I’ve been told by lots of friends who’ve done both that they found c section recovery much easier than dealing with recovery from tearing. It’s easier to keep the area clean, and it’s all planned to be that way whereas tearing can happen anywhere, internally and externally. C section recovery I found a breeze after the first week, I was pretty much back to normal.

Having said that though, I also hear that second vaginal births are much easier than first ones x

It was worse than my c-section if im honest, could barely stand long enough to wash and sterilise bottles after 3/4 tear and for years i thought it was because i was induced and was so worried about being induced again, but i had my 5th baby 11 months ago and was induced and it all went so smoothly and quick, im almost disappointed shes my last haha, every labour/birth is different, and it does get easier/quicker with each one in my experience, my first labour was 15hrs 35 my second (not induced) was 6hrs 35 no intervention, my 3rd was planned c-sec (twins) and my last was 1hr 29 no interventions despite being induced hopefully that makes you feel more confident should you want to have another baby xx