Anxious about giving birth

[Mamtobe2024]

I'm a first time mum to be, I'm currently 24+4 and the further along I am getting the more I find myself thinking more about birth and I'm getting quite anxious about it to say the least.

I think for me it's the unknown and not knowing what to expect which is making me anxious and as a first time mum I really don't know what I'm in for however I was just wondering if anybody has any tips for not getting too worked up about it? I know it's a nerve wracking thing but I do want to try and stay as calm as I can and not get myself into panic mode when the time comes 😊

You’re still at the stage of pregnancy where it’s normal being anxious about the birth. By the time you get to 35 weeks you’ll be desperate for the first sign of labour.

I reccomend an NCT course. It was invaluable to me. I ended up with a planned C section but it really helped me know what was going on and to make am informed choice.
Plus the other mums on the course are a great support now. We chat daily about kids, poo, and life. Well worth it.

That's true, Thankyou for answering!

You say you don’t know what to expect, have you learnt the science behind it? I think when you understand the process your body will go through and how normal and natural that is it can help ease your worries.

nobody can tell you how it will go for you because everyone’s experience of birth is different however people tend to share bad rather than good experiences. I had two good experiences.

I too was nervous, that’s normal. I went to hypnobirthhing classes and that really helped me.

Aw fab Thankyou, I will have a look into that!

Yes as I find it fascinating so I've read a lot about it, I know my body will just go through the motion. I'm just an anxious person in general so I think that's what makes me overthink it more!

I have heard really positive things about hypnobirthing, I might have to have a look into doing that. Thankyou

Being just hours away from being induced myself, I can say being anxious is normal.

With my first pregnancy I hated not knowing what to expect, that was part of my worry. I ended up watching a series of ‘One born every minute’ until it seemed ok and I accepted it.

It is also good to know that with modern medicine you get to choose how to cope with the pain. You are more in charge of what you want, so understanding your choices might make this experience more bearable. A good NCT course would help, and talking to your midwife about birth choices can also make it seem less scary.

Good luck OP.

Do a hypnobirthing course. I did one through the positive birthing company and it was 100% worth it. I honestly think my delivery could have gone a bit wrong if I wasn't so prepared

I didn’t do any classes but I also agree hypnobirthing is brill. I had a c section both times but listening to the affirmations really helped calm me and focus. Look on Apple Music there are loads

Aw best of luck for your induction! I've watched a few episodes of one born every minute I think I may start watching them more often as that seems like a good way to kinda expose my self to the "unknown" which is birth.

Yes I've researched about what medication etc is available and I think as you say doing an NCT course will help. I will also speak with my midwife at my next appointment too ☺️

Seconding NCT, and also Hypnobirthing - I’m 27 weeks with my first, but the fear of giving birth genuinely ruined the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy I’d say! I really enjoyed The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill and Your Baby, Your Birth by Hollie de Cruz. I’ve also been listening to a lot of positive birth podcasts (I like Pop that Mumma and the Nurture Nest), and am doing the Birth Uprising hynobirthing digital course. Absolutely no need to do all of the above, I’ve just found myself getting super into it and have found that all the positive reinforcement means that I’m now genuinely excited to give birth and meet my baby in a few months time!

I’d say watching one born every minute and accepting it isn’t a bad way to go. Giving birth isn’t a nice experience and it hurts, but it does end and you get your lovely baby afterwards. You’ll be with midwives who know what they’re doing and will get baby out. If you accept that then it’s a lot less worrying.

I am definitely going to look into a hypnobirthing course!

From what I've heard it's a really positive thing to do! I'm definitely going to look into it

I will have a look into reading those, Thank you! Yes I'd say now I'm past 20 weeks all I've thought about is birth and I can acknowledge that it's going to hurt etc ofcourse it will but for me I just don't like the unknown in any aspect of my life but I suppose with pregnancy you just have to accept the unknown!

I think that's the key thing accepting birth. I've accepted it's going to hurt, ofcourse it will however I think I need to accept that in 15 weeks that will be me. I think I just need to keep focused that the pain will bring me my boy and then it will be all worth it!

The stats say most births are normal ones so take comfort in that! My first birth did not go well, I won’t go into it but Im here and absolutely fine because we have great consultants in hospitals! So if things don’t go to plan (very unlikely) you'll be somewhere with people ready to help x

I did hypnobirthing etc and it was definitely useful up to a point. But the thing that actually helped was a midwife telling me that essentially your body does it all without too much input from you🤣😅 she was like just keep breathing etc and it'll happen. Quick note that in the end I was emcs so it's not 100%, but even having that experience, my body was doing it all up to that point anyway!

So I'd also recommend being very open minded about your options and not ruling anything out. Mostly, if possible in labour, know what's happening and why by asking questions (or your partner asking) so you understand each stage and feel involved - this has been shown to help even non-ideal births feel positive and really helped me.

I found the only part of hypnobirthing that I actually used while giving birth was the breathing techniques. The rest of it left my brain with the first contraction honestly.

I had a pretty positive birth, was in latent labour (contractions every 5-7mins) for 24 hours, then active labour for 6 hours. I got to 5cm with no pain relief whatsoever, just using the breathing techniques, then when I got admitted to the delivery suite I got on the gas and air and in 4 hours my daughter was born. Honestly the pain is intense but it doesn't feel "wrong" if that makes any sense, not like when you injure yourself, it feels as though you are able to cope and your body will cope. I would suggest you just follow exactly what your body wants from you, your body will take over and if you just succumb to that then you will find it a lot easier. Gas and air if it works for you is amazing, I didn't take it out of my mouth the whole time and nearly passed out but that 4 hours felt like 4 minutes. I've never been so high in my whole life, and I'm not even sorry about it! Utilise that! Be open to all possibilities and all pain relief. Don't have a dream birth plan, it may not happen.
Good luck, take it from the person who dreaded birth from a very young age (trauma taken on from my mother's experiences) it is horrible but you can do it!!!

Another vote for The Positive Birth book by Milli Hill. I had ELCS for my first and was riddled with anxiety - I'd attended NHS antenatal classes but otherwise just buried my head in sand and really didn't understand much about labour at all. Had a VBAC for my second - after reading the book and learning about the physiology of labour / how our bodies are designed / what we can do to help / what options are available if needed, I felt a million times better. Good luck x

Id definitely look into birth classes - our local midwives did a few sessions - not sure if they still do but it was really helpful and we got to look round the delivery suite which was useful.
The only advice I would give you is to keep an open mind about the birth - pain relief etc - you just don't know how you will feel once in labour.
Good luck - I hope everything goes well for you 🤞

If it was that bad then we would stop reproducing.

Of course some women have a bad experience but I've had two labours no pain relief and no problems, likewise for all the women in my family.

Whatever you decide, just remember - feeling pain and wanting pain relief AT ANY POINT whilst in labour/giving birth DOES NOT mean you've failed at anything.

Ps diamorphine is amazing.

I had awful awful anxiety around birth with my first, I self-referred for CBT via IAPT, had around 6 sessions via phone and it helped so much. I also did a hypnobirthing course which was really good.

I was really anxious about birth and even though I wanted a vag birth started I to talk myself out of it and think I’d go Caesarian just so I knew what to expect. But then after a day of sobbing to my husband I realised I needed to get a grip and educate myself. I thought learning about all the risks would help me but it just made me worry about things that are are outside of control. Instead, I joined a prenatal yoga class where I’ve learnt relaxing breathing techniques, I listened to a podcast called The Positive Birth Story on Spotify which is by a Swedish midwife and is different women talking about their birth experiences (mix of vag, c section, intervention etc) and I love it. I also signed up to The Positive Birth Company online hypnobirthing course which I have found helpful (although I take some parts with a pinch of salt as hypnobirthing isn’t the answer to all my prayers if I need or want medical intervention!). Plus just started NCT and it’s been so informative. I feel so much more positive and excited about the birth now. Don’t forget, in the grand scheme of your child’s life it’s such a small part of it. Yes, an important part but it’s a day or two for a lifetime of magic being a parent! You can do this 💪💪💪💪