Just found out I’m pregnant again and don’t know what to do

[Helloyou111]

Hi . Ive just found out im 5 weeks pregnant . I’ve already got four girls (aged 14,11,5 and 13 months !) it’s a complete shock as we only did it once last month (I was in the middle of changing my pill over too 🙈 anyway , the older girls have a different father and he’s great , we share them half and half . Then the baby is with current partner . He really wants to keep the baby to the point he’s making me feel guilty for even considering not . I get it he wants the baby to have a close bond and two kids of his own . Me on the other hand , I’m exhausted, I’ve literally done sleepless nights and babies etc for 14 years , the house isn’t ideal as it’s not big enough , not to mention car , finances etc . I’m only 33 but I feel like I’m ready to get over all the baby phase etc . on the other hand I do think of how nice it would be for my little girl to have full time company when the others are away on holiday with their father , or weekends she’s alone or Christmas when they are at their dads . Argh I feel so Torn 😭 I was dead set against it yesterday and now I’m confused. The baby’s dad is absolutely amazing with her and I know he would be over the moon if we kept this one but the thought of all these other things sounds scary like double prams , sleepless nights , oh god and people’s reactions , the girls fathers reaction ( as he wasn’t happy we had a fourth as he felt it “impacted the girls lives “ just general judgement . I’m a mess over it all

I've read all your posts OP and it doesn't seem like you want another baby at all. That's completely fine and valid. Don't have a baby that you don't want.

I'm about the same age as you and in completely different circumstances, but I'm mid-way through pregnancy with my third and a few weeks ago I got this intense feeling that I just knew this would be The Last Time. I just know. I dont want any more children, any more pregnancies after this. By the time this little is going to school, I will have spent the best part of a decade with 0-5s. I enjoy much of it, but a decade is definitely enough for me. I need to move on after that. I'm looking forward to enjoying this baby's early years and then moving on with our lives as a family. My DH is more open minded about the possibility of more kids but Ive told him absolutely not and he understands that is the end of it.

I'm sorry you are in this position. From what you have said, you don't want another child, however it is your choice at the end of the day.

Something I noticed you said is that DP is against a vasectomy as he wants another child. If you don't want any more children and he fundamentally does, what impact will this have on your relationship?
I'm not saying at all that you should have another child if you don't want one, I'm just wondering what this means for your relationship in general.
I mean - are you concerned that he will end the relationship if you terminate? And if you hadn't got pregnant at all, would your relationship have ended anyway due to him wanting more children?

Does he want to have a boy? If you knew it was another girl would his attitude cool slightly?

Have the termination.Tell DP it was a spontaneous miscarriage. Get better contraception.

Have a good life.

No he doesn’t care either way . He just wants another baby , he doesn’t care the sex . x

He always wanted a baby so he was over the moon we had one and said he didn’t mind if we didn’t have anymore BUT lately he’s been saying he really wants another one and he’s been thinking about it alot . I don’t think he would be upset if we never had another one but obviously the situation has presented itself and he’s thinking it’s meant to be now . I don’t think he would leave me if we didn’t have another baby , he’s a million percent into us no matter what . I just don’t want him to resent me over my choice . It’s a hard thing to go through without him being supportive of my decision and I don’t need him throwing it in my face during every argument. I rang the clinic yesterday so waiting for an appointment. He’s been working away so I won’t see him until next week , we haven’t properly spoken face to face yet so this needs to be done first but I’m ordering the pills ready so I have them .

I know this was a while ago now but curious of what the outcome was ?

Hi , I actually lost the pregnancy naturally. I was really upset as I did decide to keep the baby but it was out of my hands x