Persuading DH that antenatal classes are important

[Netball01]

Hi ladies - I want to book an antenatal course (bumps & babies) and my usually supportive husband is absolutely adamant that it’s all a waste of time & money and is saying he won’t go.

We are the first in our family and friendship circle to have a baby so I’ve got no one whose been & can help change his mind.

Has anyone been in this situation and been able to persuade them ?

I was hoping it would be a chance to make some friends as well but feel like it will be embarrassing attending alone when I have a husband (different for single mums of course but it’s humiliating when there’s no valid reason for him not to come).

Going alone is nothing to be embarrassed about.
You said yourself it will be an opportunity to meet people and any friendships made at this type of class will undoubtedly be between mums, not the dads anyway. Your dh can get all the information he needs about labour etc online.

Its actually not so important. Any information you can find online. Many many mothers did not attend during covid times and all is fine. Socially, it might help, but mum friends can be made in many other ways.

It is important that the DH prioritises supporting his pregnant wife over cycling though.

This!

I don’t think you should do all the mind games and other options.
it’s a course you want to go on - so go!
There will be lots of people there in all different situations and it’s likely you’ll make friends and learn things to make you more aware of what’s coming!.

I didn’t go to any groups because my partner at the time wasn’t interested - but with hindsight I wished I’d gone alone.

My partner now and his wife then attended NCT classes and made friends and links and formed other groups relevant to children and it really benefitted them.

Please, just go and see how you feel about it !!

Just as a little update (if anyone cares ), I thought I’d just leave it for a while & not mention it, but DH had a change of heart & we’re going to book one !

think he’d spoken to a few colleagues at work who’d done them ! So alls well that ends well

That's great OP.

Please do have that chat with him about how life is going to change, and cycling time is going to drastically reduce as will sleep.

Pleased for you, well done!!!

Great news op.

Although it's annoying that it took other people to convince him instead of respecting what you had to say

We did one and was a massive waste of money in my opinion.

@Netball01 as part of the preparation it might be worth discussing expectations of leisure time when the baby arrives.

I found the classes very useful (knew nothing before, I had never changed a nappy) and made some great friends who were very supportive in the early years. My ex enjoyed the classes too and learned a lot. I think it’s a bit of a red flag if he won’t attend with you.

Glad to see your updated OP.
Personally I didn't find my NCT classes useful in terms of preparation and information, but made some (hopefully) lifelong friends. My oldest is 4, and my NCT group supported each other through Covid, we still talk regularly in the group chat, children are friends and we meet up with at least one of them at least monthly. Some of the dads bonded but it isn't my husband's "thing" he was clear from the first session whe we realised there wouldn't be much practical help, he was there solely to support my quest for a mum - tribe.
NHS antenatal was very informative and helped prepare, I still say hello if I see a couple of the mums out and about but haven't kept in touch.
Homestart are a charity who do some great (free) informative antenatal and postnatal classes it's worth seeing if any are available in your area.
Finally our local breastfeeding support group actively invite mums to be along to their sessions, you can talk to new mums, peer supporters etc and find out a bit more about the early days, again if you want to prepare for baby's arrival this could be really useful if they have similar in your area.

Can't say I blame your DH. I hate these things! I say that as a woman.

As long as he is supportive in other ways then it's not necessary to always agree and do everything the OP wants just because she is pregnant.

OP you dont need him there to make friends. There is nothing to be embarrased about. There will be other mums there without their partners for whatever reason. No one bats an eyelid.

Not going won't make your DH a bad father either.

My husband didn’t go and everyone else was a couple. Even the single people brought sisters etc. I didn’t even think to ask him though so it was my fault. I did the free hospital classes but I know people who made lots of mum friends at an NCT class.