Denied first midwife appointment

[BeachAndMountains]

Hello,
Has anyone experienced a midwife not continuing with a first appointment because they mentioned the potential for private maternity care? I am currently 10 weeks pregnant.
The midwife in question went a bit funny on the phone the previous day when I said I had a private reassurance scan.
Basically I mentioned private maternity care when discussing my private gastro care history and the possibility of it continuing going forward. I only went private initially because NHS gastroenterology discharged me years ago and wouldn’t refer me again when symptoms flared up in 2019. Once private I finally got a diagnosis of IBD. I tried to get a referral back in June last year, I finally saw them in October but they said they didn’t know what to do with me, sent me for tests and my next appointment was scheduled for September this year. So, I went running back to private gastro care again…
Anyway when this came up at the start of the midwife appointment, they didn’t even complete the paperwork and told me to make a decision by next week. I asked if I could wait until the 12 week scan to decide but was turned down. I am just a bit shocked really. I don’t think private maternity care starts until 12 weeks. The blood tests should be in or before week 10 I thought? Just want to be taken seriously and looked after with gastro disease.

Well I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be along soon but as I understand it, it's not just a first appointment it's a booking appointment - so it's the appointment booking you in for your NHS care. So I imagine they wouldn't want to do that if you're not going to continue on that pathway 🤷🏻‍♀️
It does sound like you need to speak to someone properly about your options though.

Just say you are going with NHS. Get booked in bloods, scan etc. If you are unhappy then go private.

Just say you are going with NHS. Get booked in bloods, scan etc. If you are unhappy then go private.

if you're not going to have your care with NHS I can see why there's no point them doing your booking appointment as that's literally what it is - booking in your care. Do consider a lot of private maternity wards don't have the full resources of a NHS hospital.

You are better off in the NHS for maternity.

Yes it is the booking in appointment. I’m not sure when we will make a decision, it could be months down the line! I don’t even know what my pregnancy risk will be! We may only ask for top up private scans, it’s still early days. In an emergency of any kind, the NHS would need to know about my pregnancy surely, regardless of when I could potentially go private. Or if I went into premature labour, I would need to head to my nearest hospital. I would like to continue with the NHS, I might feel awkward going back to the midwife though.

I had private maternity from 24 weeks, it was possible to get both alongside each other. I didn't bother but it was an option. Sounds like the midwife is particularly against private so you may need to challenge them.

After baby was born the community midwives tried to say I wasn't eligible for lactation team support as I had 2 weeks of private midwifery care, I rang the hospital to complain before it was escalated. I said on the phone I pay taxes for NHS care and they have no right to withdraw care for me. If anything I had made capacity for them by having private care so far. They swiftly changed their mind and sent someone out (who wasn't that great tbh, but still have me confidence I was doing everything possible). My private midwife gave me some extra tips and we turned it around.

I loved having a private midwife, she was amazing and this time with baby #2 I'm NHS only and can see a big difference in the quality of care and advice. I may have been unlucky with my NHS midwife (had the same as me for both pregnancies), she just doesn't seem to keep up to date at all and tbh I don't trust her but we can't justify the cost again. Hospital midwives seem better, but you obviously don't have any continuity of care.

It's possibly not worth it until 24/28 weeks though tbh, as that's when you really start to make decisions and find out more about who your pregnancy may go. For now, I'd just tell then you're going with the NHS. .

Should add I still had my scans at the hospital, they absolutely knew about my pregnancy and when my home birth ended up with my being in the hospital they had my notes and knew the basics.

The obvious solution is you say you’re going with the NHS and can switch later if you want to.

But you can go private as soon as you find out you’re pregnant if that’s what you want. You just book with a private obstetrician instead and they do the first scan at 8 weeks to check it’s a viable pregnancy, then your NIPT test and another scan at 10-12 weeks, also they will write to your GP saying you’re pregnant and that they’re doing your care.

Equally you can swap right at the end, but you may find your first choice OB is fully booked so only do that if you’re not going to be picky. If you are thinking private though definitely look at a private wing within an NHS hospital with proper emergency care and a NICU. That way you’re covered for any emergencies.

I have IBD and got excellent care in both pregnancies.

Depending on where you are, if you want to go private and are keen on a particular consultant, you need to book in with them asap. Some of them may already be booked for your delivery date. Sonproba ly a good idea to make a decision asap anyway.

It’s not true that private maternity is less good than NHS, it can be fantastic and you won’t be neglected in labour or left to fend for yourself afterwards. You can choose a private wing in a hospital with a NICU and all the safeguards you would need in an emergency. The whole package including scans and tests etc is very expensive though.

To be fair to the midwife it’s a waste of her time booking you in and also a bit offensive. She’s probably knackered from understaffing etc and to have someone sit there and be like well I might need you I might not but do this anyway isn’t great.

Having the choice is offensive is it? It’s not a waste of their time, they would be providing antenatal care. I would be surprised if they were there for my labour. They were very helpful with advice they provided anyway. I have every right to NHS care, if I left it would help the service and I wouldn’t be a burden. To be honest it just slipped out, I wasn’t planning on telling them and I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. If I need private gastro care, I’m guessing then I would need private maternity care for a combined approach, ideally in the same hospital. I’m guessing being able to afford private care is triggering for a lot of people, sorry to hit a nerve. As this is my first baby, yesterday’s conversation really shook me. I was so excited to officially start my antenatal care and now I feel vulnerable that the rug has been pulled from under me.

Just call back and say you've decided to go with NHS care. Paying for private scans is quite common and doesn't constitute going private etc so even if you want to pay for reassurance scans at any point, it doesn't affect your NHS care.
If later on down the line you decide to go private fully, notify them.
It doesn't have to be a big deal op, just get your 12 week scans and bloods booked. Congrats

Having the choice is offensive is it

That’s not what the poster said as you well know.

I used the NHS but saw a private consultant in parallel for scans and appointments. You can do both, doesn’t have to be one or the other.

You made it sound like you were thinking of the private route altogether, so obviously they’re not going to book you in.

Just tell them you decided on NHS.

Hi
it’s not triggering for me no, it was something I looked into myself and realised it was a waste of time as if your birth is not straight forward you get transferred to NHS care anyway. I had some private scans in a clinic ran by a doctor of foetal medicine but only because you only have 2 or 3 on the NHS not because I was unhappy with the NHS service.

I couldn’t care less how you choose to spend your money what is ‘triggering’ if you wish to use that word, is that you have no consideration for the midwife or their time. But I guess some people are just like that. As you said it is your ‘right’ so sod anyone else….

Exactly 🙄 thank you

I went for a second opinion scan following one of my NHS ones with a private consultant just because I didn’t fully understand what my scan meant. After that the NHS started scanning me every 4 weeks due to some growth issues and I saw an NHS consultant after every appointment.

What you say to the midwife is that you are wasting their time. It’s basically telling them you are unlikely to continue. Why not just book your private consultant and have all your antenatal care with them?

I was explaining my complicated gastro history when I related it to possible maternity care as a side comment. I have a less known form of IBD, not Crohn’s or UC, so care may be limited. I mentioned that I also sought private pre conception advice from an obstetrician and maternal doctor as I wasn’t offered that on the NHS, I wonder if that made it sound like I would go private throughout. This whole issue may just be a communication error with the midwife and on here. Sorry for offending anyone. Thank you for your advice everyone, I appreciate it.

I should also add that if I am classed as high risk in my pregnancy, I may not even consider going private

No, because you pay taxes to be able to use the NHS.
I am not in the UK at the moment, but my country also has an NHS, and I had both NHS and private care, up until 35 weeks, at which point I made the decision my birth was going to happen at a private hospital, so I didnt book any more NHS consults beyond that one.

Everyone who pays taxes has the RIGHT to be treated on the NHS, regardless of whether they also have private care. It is not offensive. The NHS understaffing is not the OPs problem, and the midwife has no right to refuse treatment.

Booking in apps are long and ball ache.

Just go with the NHS and get private along side if you decide to.

I went private with my first at 28 weeks and I'm really shocked at some of the responses in this thread.

We are entitled to NHS care, I do not believe for a second is up to this one midwife whether or not you're allowed to use it.

What i will say is I was treated differently when i told them, but it is their failings which have pushed me to do, I don't want to pay thousands for a private midwife.