Will my unborn child be taken off me.

[JadeQuail]

Hello,

Am wondering if I could have some advise please on my current situation..

I have a 13 year old boy who currently lives with one of my family members due to him been taken off me when I was 17 due to me been in a domestic violence relationship, I was very young and nieve and I didn’t see at the time that I was putting my child in danger by staying with his dad from countless domestic violence calls. The social services decided to take my child off me and me see my child with supervised contact.. after a while the contact stopped as my family member didn’t won’t to do the contact anymore as I didn’t get on with my dad. The one who was doing the contact. After a while I went through a contact centre but I got into some financial difficulty and couldn’t afford to pay the 100 pound a month I know that sounds awful but I was really struggling at the time..

a couple of years had passed and I see my son at family gatherings and I also speak to him everyday, my son has been through so much I wouldn’t won’t to put him in a position for him to see me in a contact centre, I have tired speaking to my dad to arrange contact out of the centre but he’s having none of it.. I went back to see a solicitor to get my son back in my care however it was going to cost me over 3,000 and I just didn’t have the money at the time and I know my son is happy where he is and settled.

12 years down the line I am now 30 years old I speak to my son daily but do not have contact. I have been split up with his father who the domestic violence was with for over 7 years.. I have now sorted my life out I work in a law firm, go to university, have a lovely home and a loving partner I have been with for over 4 years.. I have fallen pregnant and I am currently 9 weeks I have phoned the doctor to make a midwife appointment but I am really scared on what the outcome will be.. I have never done drugs or been in trouble with the police. My partner had an issue 3 years ago for a domestic violence but he was found not guilty. He also had some issues before Christmas where he suffered abit of depression and seeked medical advise they gave him some tablets and they just wasn’t working for him. We moved house and he found another job (the reason he got so down due to him loosing a job he loved) he now has no problems and he is happy with life I have read that I will probably have to do a pre birth assessment but I am really scared if my unborn child will be taken away from me. Am happy to do what ever it takes any assessment for this not to happen I am a completely different person I was to what I am now.

Could anyone please give me some advise on what may happen and if they think I will be able to keep my unborn child. I am so scared at the moment and I constantly worry.

Yes. OP, you say you speak to him but don’t ’have contact’. What do you mean — you don’t ever see your 13 year old, who lives with your father, outside of larger family gatherings?

Hi OP, some of the other posters are giving you a bit of hard time, I think accidentally labelling the incident with the neighbour as DV has added a lot of confusion and raised concerns of some posters.

To answer your question, SS will likely do an assessment in order to satisfy themselves that the previous risks you posed (I assume it was concern over failure to protect your older child from harm due to the DV situation) are no longer present.

The best thing that you can do is be willing to work with SS if they offer any additional support, they may suggest a team around the family (TAF), or other support from Early Help, or a SW initially. Be willing and to engage and accept any help. It’s positive that you’ve already done a Claire’s law check. You may wish to consider undertaking the freedom program, or a similar course, which is designed to help survivors of DA identify and understand red flags in future relationships. DA can often begin / accelerate after there has been a commitment (such as having a baby), so they will likely want to be sure that you would now be able to leave your current relationship and safeguard your new baby, if this were to turn into a DA situation.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

OP - if you are still reading, you said you and your DP are studying, you are uni - would a baby now put an end to that? Being realistic, you may be back to work after having your Mat leave, but will the uni course have to end? Will your dp be able to continue to study?

is there a reason your son hasn’t come back to live with you?