Really not enjoying pregnancy

[peersears]

I know it sounds ungrateful when so many people long to be parents and are unable to conceive but I am really not enjoying pregnancy and I’m feeling pretty guilty for it.

It took DP and I a year to conceive so this is a very much wanted baby. But the only positive I see from being pregnant is that in July we will have a baby.

I’m 25 weeks and suffered from debilitating nausea for around 18 weeks. I had to be signed off from work for weeks on end which made me feel useless as I usually love my job and previously enjoyed working hard. I have completely lost my spark for work and I hope it returns. I feel guilty for the extra workload my team are burdened with.

I felt ok for around 3 weeks and was feeling really positive! Went on holiday with DP and had a great time but my sickness returned with a vengeance.

Now I’m currently in hospital as I had a bleed. I have placenta previa and any bleed requires at least a 48 hour admission. I miss my partner and my dog, plus we are moving house next week so I’m feeling unorganised and stressed.

Due to the sickness, I’ve had to cancel SO many plans. DP and I were due to have a long awaited night out tonight (dinner and a show) which had to be cancelled due to my hospital stay. I also had to cancel yesterday’s hair and nails appointments.

I feel like all I do is moan 24/7 which in itself is getting me down. I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but I just wanted to get it off my chest that I very strongly dislike being pregnant!!!!!

I had an easy first pregnancy, I had my second baby this week and even with the pain of c section it's so much better than being pregnant. Take it easy and be kind to yourself xx

I totally understand OP and think a lot of us feel the same! Everything about pregnancy and having children is unpredictable and sadly full of sacrifice. Life for most just does not carry on like before. I know it's so hard but you are over half way now and I promise you and DH will get a night out again in the future - lots of them. Pregnancy and babies put things on hold for a while but you do get some freedom again after a while.

My pregnancy was shit too - just keep thinking of the end goal

I hated being pregnant. Just did it for the reward at the end. Just loathed every other aspect of it. I'm sure it's normal.

I hate being pregnant, I'm 26 weeks and counting down the days! It's a means to an end and 9 months in the grand scheme of things is nothing.

The positive I found last time was that I felt amazing once it was all over and made the difficult first few weeks with a newborn so much easier!

Thanks everyone, glad I’m not the only one.

I think what makes it harder is that a lot of women in my life (friends, family, colleagues) had easy breezy pregnancies which they really enjoyed. I wonder if they judge me or think I’m being dramatic but I suppose I just need to focus on me and baby!

Honestly you are not alone and don’t feel bad for feeling the way you do, it doesn’t mean you don’t love and want your baby.

my own pregnancy was a bit more straightforward than yours and I still really struggled with it and couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Cut yourself some slack and have a good moan when you need to, it really helps to write things down or verbalise them, that can be therapeutic in itself.

i hope everything goes well for the rest of your pregnancy, you have had a tough time so far 💐

For some women pregnancy is shit. You can feel like shit in pregnancy, it doesn’t mean you didn’t want your baby or that you won’t be a good mum. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You might also really hate other stages of parenthood, and that’s OK too. Everything with kids is a stage, it passes and so if you’re in a phase you hate it goes quickly and before you know it you’re in a phase you love.

I had lovely easy pregnancies and I loved being pregnant. If I had had your situation I too would have hated it. Sounds awful and debilitating. Whilst the outcome will be awesome the journey is brutal for a lot of people. Best wishes.

I had an easy pregnancy and I still thought it was bloody awful. The newborn stage was a breeze compared to pregnancy. And I even got a hell of a lot more sleep once I was no longer pregnant!

I hated pregnancy with every fibre of my being. Went totally bonkers, had horrible sickness for most of it and also some complications that made me feel utter shit but weren't complicated enough for any kind of medical treatment.
I'm now on the final few weeks before it's over and all seems calmer. I am grateful for that and for my bouncy pregnancy hair.
You are not alone!

I had any easy first pregnacy and spontaneously birth at 38 +1.

I'm 38 +5 with my second and have had gestational diabetes and swollen feet and ankles both since about 26 weeks.

I've got numb hands.

I'm done now but no sign of anything moving anytime soon!

I also feel like all I do it moan and then feel guilty.

It's tough for a lot of people because we're in a society where your supposed to push through and continue as normal at the same pace. If people went to work with half the symptoms pregnant women get (minus the pregnancy) they'd be signed off very quickly.

I love my baby but I honestly hate being pregnant my symptoms have been relentless. I had hyperemesis until week 18/19 then anemia, feeling like I’m going to faint, constantly tired but can’t sleep. It’s just not enjoyable.

I’m 32 weeks now and have exactly 6 weeks until my c section! Counting down the days.

Yeah it's horrible. Hated every minute every pregnancy. But it's so worth it that I did it times.
Keep your eye on the prize

You're definitely having a rough time of it, and I imagine if you're in hospital then you're probably not getting a great amount of sleep either (I had placenta previa with my second pregnancy and had a few bleeds requiring a hospital stay too).
In a few months, you will be settled in your new house with your beautiful new baby and it will all be so worth it ❤️ For now, it is crap - so I hope you can find some opportunities to feel better and that you manage.to reschedule your hair / nail appointments, etc. xxx

You can hate being pregnant and be so grateful to have your baby. I was told I couldn't conceive, did (my 17 week old is snoozing alongside me), and I hated pregnancy. I was constantly anxious and in tears.

I was incredibly nauseous. I was a stone lighter at my 16 week appointment than before I was pregnant. I also came home from giving birth over a stone lighter than before I got pregnant!

I also had placenta previa and had a lot of bleeds (requiring anti-D as I'm rhesus neg). One week I was in triage 6 times. No rhyme or reason. I'd spend a day running round all fine, I'd spend a day resting, take a nap and wake up to blood. That led to growth concerns for baby an baby looked to be dropping centiles.

I didn't believe I was getting my baby, not until I heard him cry. I sobbed buying his essentials believing I was jinxing him and would wake up in a pool of blood and this time I would have lost him.

It did get better around 27 weeks, nausea had finally largely abated, placenta had moved and bleeding had stopped. Still thought he was small until he came out over 9lb 😂.

I hated being pregnant, and as for my birth every health professional that hears tells me I should have birth trauma counselling. But I am so grateful and love my baby so much. Even if I could go back and know what would happen I'd choose to do it again to get him.

I really wish more women were honest about how shit pregnancy can be! I’m 15 weeks and have found it so hard - sick all the time, signed off work for weeks, exhausted, just generally feeling crap. I thought I was being dramatic and weak, especially seeing as my HR woman kept telling me how much she loved pregnancy, and when I went to her early on for help at work because I was feeling so ill she said, “Remember, you’re just pregnant, you’re not disabled!” H bloody R!

Once the sickness really kicked in my female family members finally confessed to me that they’d hated it too and had also had really hard pregnancies. Why didn’t they tell me?! It feels like some big collective secret. I told my friends about the pregnancy the other day and one of them told me she’d had HG with both her children, and I’d had no idea. That’s how amazing we are as women - we can be going through absolute hell and nobody even notices.

It’s ok to feel incredibly grateful to be pregnant and hate the feeling of it at the exact same time. I often tell my little bump it’s ok and I forgive it in between retches over the toilet bowl 😂

Honestly I feel your pain too. I'm almost 22 weeks and it's horrific. Nothing like my 1st and they were a covid baby.

I have been getting constant migraines for a good 2 month now, which are lasting hours but doctors won't prescribe me anything and just keep telling me to take OTC paracetamol, which doesn't even touch the sides 🙄 there's also other new ailments that as far as I'm aware aren't common pregnancy symptoms but doctors are just passing off as your pregnant, it happens.

I've also had a recent risk assessment done at work which has led to me now not being allowed to certain tasks, so I've constantly got to ask colleagues to help me or do more work, which is making me feel pretty guilty and useless.

@TheGoldenSnitch01 doctors are just passing off as your pregnant, it happens.

Omg this annoys me so much. Whatever it is that’s wrong, “oh well it’s just hormones.” Yes but why? Which hormone? What is that hormone meant to be doing and how is that then causing me to feel like this? I hate how little real information there is about pregnancy and how it’s all written off by the word “hormones”. Whenever I’m ill, I always feel better by understanding why I feel the way I do (eg when you have a bug and get a fever, your body heats up to kill off the bug - I understand this and therefore accept and understand how I feel). Drives me mad!

OP, I'm currently 9.5 weeks with my second and I feel like the pits. I shouldn't be surprised as I also felt awful with my first, but you do block it out. All I can say is at least you're closer to the end goal than I am!

I remember with my first having a sip of water after giving birth and it being the most wondrous tasting thing. And even though your sleep is interrupted with a newborn, it was such better quality than when heavily pregnant that it made the newborn phase sooo much easier. You'll get there! Good luck and solidarity! Pregnancy sucks.

Sorry you're having a rough time. I hated pregnancy too, it was horrible!! You aren't alone in those thoughts 🩷

Same 😅 i was waiting for this exciting time where i am "glowing"

Its not, first pregnancy was probably the worst year of my life 😂 i had never been so stressed. Outside everything went wrong and my pregnancy was horrendous spending 6 weeks in hospital before birth.

This pregnancy although going well, i can not cope with my hormones. I am snappy, sad, angry, happy all at the same time. I feel nuts. Im counting down the days till i feel better. Feels like life is on pause.

I think they are lying to us when you are told that wonderful pregnancies are the majority and we are the poor unfortunate folks 😂😂

I hated both my pregnancies. Never going through it again.

Honestly, why put pressure on yourself thinking you should enjoy it? It’s a means to an end for many women. Even if it took a while to get there, don’t feel guilty about not enjoying it. If anything having had a MC before is making me enjoy this pregnancy less, as I’m so much more worried about something going wrong. Take each day, do whatever you need to get through and don’t feel any pressure or guilt