Really not enjoying pregnancy

[peersears]

I know it sounds ungrateful when so many people long to be parents and are unable to conceive but I am really not enjoying pregnancy and I’m feeling pretty guilty for it.

It took DP and I a year to conceive so this is a very much wanted baby. But the only positive I see from being pregnant is that in July we will have a baby.

I’m 25 weeks and suffered from debilitating nausea for around 18 weeks. I had to be signed off from work for weeks on end which made me feel useless as I usually love my job and previously enjoyed working hard. I have completely lost my spark for work and I hope it returns. I feel guilty for the extra workload my team are burdened with.

I felt ok for around 3 weeks and was feeling really positive! Went on holiday with DP and had a great time but my sickness returned with a vengeance.

Now I’m currently in hospital as I had a bleed. I have placenta previa and any bleed requires at least a 48 hour admission. I miss my partner and my dog, plus we are moving house next week so I’m feeling unorganised and stressed.

Due to the sickness, I’ve had to cancel SO many plans. DP and I were due to have a long awaited night out tonight (dinner and a show) which had to be cancelled due to my hospital stay. I also had to cancel yesterday’s hair and nails appointments.

I feel like all I do is moan 24/7 which in itself is getting me down. I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but I just wanted to get it off my chest that I very strongly dislike being pregnant!!!!!

If it helps at all OP, I'm having a pretty easy pregnancy in the grand scheme of things but I've met some Women along the way who having a really difficult time, and no I am absolutely not judging anyone. In fact my primary thought is that I don't know how they're doing it as I just absolutely could not. I'm in awe of them.

Hoping things improve for you very soon x

It took me 12 years to finally get to where we are now..29 weeks pregnant and I've actually been very lucky with an easy pregnancy BUT that doesn't mean it isn't still tough. We are growing humans after all! I feel so guilty everytime I have a little moan because this is obviously such a longed for baby..it's mad!
I absolutely feel for anyone that suffers with HG or other debilitating symptoms.. pregnancy affects women in so many different ways it's very strange.

If it makes you feel any better - I had an easy pregnancy, no complications, mild fatigue, hardly any aches and pains and only mild nausea. But I bloody hated it!! Every second of it. There was nothing pleasant or enjoyable about any aspect of it. It took many years for me to get pregnant too. None of my dislike for being pregnant was anxiety or mental health related. I just found being pregnant to be limiting and disruptive. I didn't take any pleasure from feeling my baby moving, it was annoying and uncomfortable. Goodness only knows how it is for you with complications and difficulties. Don't feel guilty. Put yourself and your own feelings and needs first. You are not whingeing either, what you are going through sounds rough!! My son is now 7 and I love him more than anything. I wouldn't EVER have a second though!! Adopt. Yes. Go through another pregnancy, NO!! I reckon it's pretty normal to hate pregnancy, it's just that we don't talk about it... perhaps it's taboo?

Thank you for all your support and words of wisdom! @LilFoxes your comment made me laugh, I too am actually grateful for my pregnancy hair. It’s not been washed since Sunday and still looks great.

@Lillers I agree, my friend at work has said she had a terrible pregnancy too and I had no idea! It’s almost as if she felt she had to hide the fact she struggled through.

I’m hoping to be discharged from hospital today, that will cheer me up

I’ve tried telling people I hate it, or the things I’m struggling with and they don’t wanna hear it. They just want to reminisce about the nice things from their own pregnancy like feeling kicks. And they’re just excited about there being a new baby. I also just feel a bit ungrateful or whiney if I say anything negative. So I’ve stopped saying anything and now I just say yeah great, when anyone asks how I am. So I wouldn’t necessarily believe it if you’re only hearing positives from other women.

Thanks @Cronchy, feel free to say anything you wish here. The more negative the better!

When I got hospitalised a couple weeks ago following being sick for 18 hours straight, everyone just said ‘oh well as long as the babies ok’. Obviously the baby will be most people’s primary concern but it would be nice for a little bit of empathy from time to time 😂

I found my people, hi!!
I like you don’t pregnant well. I’m currently 39+3 weeks so I’m at the end to be fair and waiting (im)patiently for this little one to make an appearance.

I’ve had dreadful PGP (but Osteo and acupuncture has helped enormously), brain fog since the moment I conceived, tiredness and insomnia like no other. I’m self employed and had to park many opportunities (and money) just by being not able. I have been utterly miserable.

I hoped this baby would show up by now so I could legitimately move on with my life, I k ow I’ll get my faculties back afterwards, I did last time.

In the meantime I’m symptom watching like a mad lady! I’ve tried reflexology, acupuncture, had a sweep, had my show, and still no movement.

What I will say, since I hit 36 weeks, I do feel better about it and the stress has left me. Keep going ladies, the light is there.

Welcome @Readytoevolve! sorry to hear you’re having a rubbish time of it, hopefully baby comes soon. It must be really tough being self employed and losing out on business due to the terrible effects of pregnancy!

I've had two HG pregnancies and I hated every single second of both of them. I hate hate HATE being pregnant, it is awful.

I love being a Mum though and the silver lining of the horrible pregnancies is that I've found parenting a breeze compared to feeling like death for 30+ weeks.

I know this is an old thread, but I'm 11weeks and had all day sickness for the past month or so (and generally get no joy from eating), not to mention the fatigue! Quite frankly it's a miserable existence. The worse bit is that the little things I'd normally do like having a nice hot bath with a glass of wine, treating myself to my favourite foods or going on a long walk are also a closed off to me. Only me and my husband know so I have to constantly pretend to be okay at work and around family and friends and make up white lies about why I can't attend an event. Got my first scan next week so hoping once I can tell people it might feel a bit easier.

You don't sound ungrateful at all. I'm 30 weeks and although I love the nice parts of buying clothes and feeling him kick, every other part has been filled with debilitating anxiety and pain and worry. Some people get lucky with an easy pregnant, but for a lot of us it's miserable, but totally worth it to have your baby at the end x

My baby is now nearly 4 weeks old (he was born 5 weeks early, following a 3 week hospital admission prior to his birth!) and it absolutely was worth it. I do miss the kicks but don’t miss anything else about being pregnant. Hang on in there 🩷🩵

Also chiming in on an old thread to vent about how shit pregnancy is

And I've been lucky to have a relatively "easy" pregnancy. But I still hate it. The lack of energy and hip pain have stopped me enjoying so much of what I used to love doing. Also my boobs and hips are so much wider, I hate how my body looks. Which I know is very superficial, and I wasn't particularly body conscious before!

I'm just over half way and still waiting for the "enjoyable" 2nd trimester to kick in...