Pregnancy after miscarriage advice

[TamsynR]

Hello,

Hoping for some advice and helpful words. I’ve just found out I’m (4.5 weeks) pregnant after a miscarriage at 8.5 weeks in October.

Has anyone been through similar and can offer advice on how to get through? I find myself increasingly Googling things which doesn’t help the stress.

Thanks!

Congratulations! And sorry about your loss. I was in the same position and duly googled everything, including miscarriage risk calculators pretty much every day 🙃

my SIL endured the same thing a year before me, and she told me that she really regretted the way she had obsessed in the pregnancy that followed her loss because she never felt like she got to enjoy her pregnancy. She was always so worried.

I made the conscious choice to reframe it each day. Rather than thinking "I shouldn't get attached to this pregnancy in case it doesn't work out" I thought "I am pregnant right now and that's amazing". Eventually days turned into weeks and months and now I look back at the pregnancy so happy that I enjoyed it as much as I could.

I obviously still had moments of worry, you can't turn anxiety off like that, but try to think of it a little differently! Good luck x

Also had the same experience, finally had a successful IVF cycle after 12 years of trying but it ended in a missed miscarriage. That was April last year, went again October and I'm now 28 weeks pregnant. It was really hard not to be anxious and like others have said I look back now and regret not enjoying it. Early scans really helped me, we had one at 6 weeks and another at 8 weeks. You really do just have to take each day at a time.

@TamsynR Hi, I’m in the same situation. Current 8 weeks pregnant and the anxiety is crippling. I had a miscarriage in August at 10 week and I just keep feeling like I shouldn’t get attached or tell anyone I’m pregnant because this could go the same way.

Taking each day as it comes and trying to think positive has got me through the last 4 weeks since BFP. I’ve had 3 scans which has given me reassurance and I’ve spoken to EPU about any concerns or worries I’ve had and they’re really helpful.

Thinking of you, I know how hard it is xxx

@TamsynR it's really tough but know that you're not alone! Try and celebrate the little wins and milestones. Not sure it would work for everyone but it really helped me to accept that from inception, the outcome was pretty much written - either it was a viable little bean or not. Worrying etc wouldn't change that and I owed it to little one to try and enjoy every moment with them for as long as they could be with me. I also found journalling all my thoughts/worries/hopes really helped. I lost 3 pregnancies last year and I'm grateful now that I have those little records of the times I had with them. 21wks today with our unexpected rainbow (we'd stopped trying/tracking while we awaited fertility consultant referral and then this little one came along). Remember, this is a completely new pregnancy with every chance of a different outcome. If the worst happens, you will deal with it when it does. Buuuut..... There is every chance this is your rainbow 😊💕🌈

Come join us on this thread if you'd like!
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support

Thank you so much everyone for your really kind advice; it’s so good at least to be able to be able to use your experiences to help. It’s definitely been really helpful just to take one day at a time and just keeping my fingers crossed for the next few months ahead.

thanks so much again x

Hi I’m 7 weeks pregnant after a miscarriage in December. A lot of the anxiety comes obviously from the trauma of a miscarriage which is not really spoken about.
you are not alone in your anxiety, every time I go to the loo I think I’ll see blood.
but like others say it is either a viable pregnancy or not and there is nothing you can do. As tough as it sounds you have no control so don’t try to control it.
For me I’ve tried to think if this isn’t meant to be what can I do instead as a focus for example I want to start horse riding again and get back into the gym (I feel like crap with the morning sickness) I’ll also get some Botox 😂
It sounds silly and superficial but you have to have a back up plan that you would look forward to