Inconclusive scan - Fatner looking for some advice

[BabyDaddy01]

Hi all,

Father
here looking for some advice or positive stories :-)

So
last Friday (8th) my wife and I went for an early reassurance scan which
unfortunately, was inconclusive. My wife had a US and TV scan and the
sonographer said that she could see the gestational sac and yolk but no foetus.
She said that it might just be that it's a bit too soon. She said to come back in 10 days for a rescan.

By my wife’s calculations, she would have been 8 weeks + 4 days at the scan but
the sonographer measured her at 6 weeks and 3 days. The first day of her last
period was 9th of Jan. I'm no expert in women’s health unfortunately, so please
excuse me if I have gotten anything wrong.

Anyhow, she has another scan booked in for a week today and we're hoping that all will be ok and it was just too early to see anything.

She has had the usual symptoms (fatigue, tender boobs, feeling sick etc). She has also had a tiny bit of spotting on 2 occasions (very, very light in the
discharge) but no pain. She said she feels a TINY amount of pain but it's so
mild that she isn't even sure she'd consider it pain. She said it might even be
trapped wind.

Has anyone here had a similar experience with a scan at this amount of time? I feel pretty helpless and I'm just looking for some support really. My wife is away with work for a few days now and I'm just sat around worrying.

Thank you in advance for any advice or support you're able to provide.

I don't have experience of this happening, so hopefully someone with a bit more experience will come along, but a couple things could be going on.

1. she ovulated a bit later than normal, which would explain why she is measuring behind. Did you use ovulation tests whilst trying or just going by last period? They can vary, I had some cycles last 24 days and others 31, which would have had a week difference in how far along I thought I was. At an early stage a week is a massive difference to what you can see.

2. it's an early miscarriage, if she is in fact 8 weeks then you would have seen a heartbeat.

3. I would also expect at 6+3 to be seeing more than you have. Google 6 week ultrasound and compare to what you saw. Normally you would also see a heartbeat after 6 weeks. (Though not always, some people don't see it this early, so it's not always a worry!) I had an early scan at 6+5 and we were able to clearly see fetus with heartbeat, every day can make such a difference though. So little one could just be making you stress.

Personally I would be guarding my heart with the dates you have said. But unfortunately you won't know for sure until the repeat scan. Hoping for the best for you and it's just your little one keeping you on your toes.

Thank you for your response.

We didn't track ovulation. Well, we did but jsut used an app. We didn't use any tests. Our approach was to just have sex every day around the time the app said she was ovulating ;-)

fingers crossed it's all ok but we shall see.

Hi: I’m really sorry it’s been scary and uncertain for you. Unfortunately, I’m not sure many on here can offer you anything definitive in terms of reassurance. It may be that your wife conceived later than she did (hence the earlier dates). It may also be that she is experiencing something known as a missed miscarriage, where baby stops developing but you still have pregnancy symptoms. Your wife sounds really brave to have continued working.

The bit I find hardest about pregnancy, is the lack of control and predictability we have over it (from the getting pregnant stage, to carrying/miscarrying). There isn’t a “way” that guarantees anything.

Ive been in your situation several times (due to my risk profile I’ve early scans in pregnancy routinely). Once, when I’ve gone back it’s been “good” news and ovulation/implantation obviously threw my dates out. Other times it’s meant the pregnancy isn’t going to be, and depending on timelines (I’ve had loses ranging from 5 to 18 weeks found at scans) had meant I’ve different choices to make about what happens next (wait, medication, surgery). Typically I’ve told work and used sick leave (pregnancy related so protected in the UK) to take the time needed to manage this, sometimes I’ve chosen (because it suited my needs at the time) not to take leave.

I recognize that I can only write this as me: but even as the person “carrying” it can feel hard and feel helpless. As there really is very little you can do to influence the path of a pregnancy. There are times I’ve eaten everything “right”, rested, known I was pregnant early and followed all the “rules” and had a missed miss. Our first daughter took five years to have (with several losses before her and difficulties falling pregnant). Our second arrived while I was breastfeeding, conceived unexpectedly on a boozy holiday, where I definitely followed none of “the rules”. The thing I’ve tried to tell myself is that worrying doesn’t help/unfortunately makes no difference to outcomes (other than making me more stressed and putting pressure on my relationship). It’s natural - it’s a scary time, and feeling scared/sad when crap things happen is human.

In terms of support: the early pregnancy unit should signpost but many don’t/are very under resourced. Good places to talk to are: Tommy’s helpline and/or IAPT/local talking therapies services. I found the ‘worst girl gang ever’ spaces helpful too (blogs podcasts and other online spaces). Medically support tends to be available if couples have multiple miscarriages in a row (usually 3 is the referral point) but know it’s different in different trusts.

Am very aware that you are probably hoping that a lot of this won’t apply to you. But I’m sharing as it’s info I think I wish others would have shared with my partner if he’d asked. Ie. If those around us had hoped that it would be ok, but prepared him for the idea that it may not be. The least helpful thing he did was analyse “what we did/didn’t do” as unintentionally it made me feel blamed.

Thank you so much for your kind response. I really do appreciate it.

I'm holding on to a little hope but at the same time, I'm accepting what will be will be. I've read some postivie stories, which has been helpful, but I'm under no illusion that there are things that we can do that will influence the outcome in the end.

I'm so sorry, OP.
This sounds very like a blighted ovum.
At 8 + 4 in a viable pregnancy, you'd expect to see a fetus in the uterus, with a heartbeat.

The only other thing that might be happening is much later ovulation than her dates suggest.
I really hope you get good news at the next scan.

Thank you. And yes, that’s the problem. We don’t know when she ovulated as we weren’t super on the ball when it came to tracking her ovulation. We just went with it.

So sorry you are both going through this, I often think that these early pregnancy scans are more worrying than they are reassuring!

I had an early reassurance scan in this pregnancy at 6+2 and we saw the heartbeat, but I’m not sure if that’s typical for this gestation?

My advice would be if no pain/bleeding, try to put it out of your mind as much as possible for the next week until your rescan. Early pregnancy is (in my opinion) the hardest stage and the anxiety is like no other, I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!

I agree. Having done my research I really do think they should not allow them until woman (by her calculations) is at least 10 weeks. The place we went to were advertising a service that says can tell the sex as early as 6 weeks. Is this even possible?

Thing is, I don’t think she is 8 + 4. The first day of her last period was Jan 9th and I think she probably ovulated around the 20th(ish) of Jan. positive test was 5th Feb. So if she did ovulate around that time, she’d be 7 weeks 3 days today, so just just a bit over 6 weeks when we had the scan.

i’m really hoping that her dates are just well off :-/

The place we went to were advertising a service that says can tell the sex as early as 6 weeks. Is this even possible?

A blood test can be accurate at this stage.

It isn't possible to see the sex on U/S this early.

The private scan places would close down if it was only permissable to scan from 10 weeks! Many people would say that isn't a bad thing.

The NHS scans at about 12 weeks anyway, so I'm never sure why people spend money on private scans. They cause so much uncertainty, if all the threads on here are anything to go by. The NHS will always scan women prior to the dating scan, if there's a clinical need.

I totally agree, it should be 8-10 weeks earliest scans really. The only way they would be able to tell the sex at 6 weeks is by blood test, not ultrasound scan. So it is possible but not via scan.

They do really pray on our anxiety though. We ended up having a few private scans before our first NHS scan just for reassurance in this pregnancy and I quickly learned that they literally only provide reassurance for the split second you are in there for the scan. In my next pregnancy I will definitely be avoiding them altogether! It’s a hard situation as well because even if God forbid they spot something there’s nothing they can do about it really, so I think next time we will just take the view that of assuming everything is okay until we have a reason to believe otherwise.

With regards to the pains you mentioned, I wouldn’t worry about that, aches and pains are actually really common in early pregnancy. I had similar throughout my whole first trimester and now 8 months with a healthy baby.

By LMP she was 8 + 3 on March 8th (I'm a midwife).

I have had quite a few early losses and pregnancies that haven’t progressed. It sounds like this one probably isn’t going to progress but there is nothing to ‘worry’ about necessarily and I don’t mean to sound dismissive when I say that because I know how disappointing it is. Miscarriages are a natural part of the journey to motherhood for a lot of women and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything is ‘wrong’ with your wife or you, it’s just nature’s way. Years ago women wouldn’t have been so aware but because of early testing etc we know more now and that has its drawbacks. Most people who have miscarriages go on to have healthy pregnancies.

Ah ok. So in your professional experience as a midwife - would you say it was too early to tell or should be prepare for bad news at the rescan?

And if she did actually ovulate on 20th Jan, she was nearer 9 weeks on March 8th.
Pregnancy is dated from the first day of the last period. So when a woman gets to 14 days past ovulation, she's 4 weeks pregnant.

You haven't included the first two weeks of her cycle.

Yeah like I mentioned, I’m not an expert at this sort of stuff so apologies

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/finding-out/due-date-calculator/

It's okay, it can be hard to understand, especially if this is the first pregnancy.

I lost my first and second. I had a lot of miscarriages, actually, but I did end up with four children in the end.

Yeah we’ve used those. I guess the confusing thing is that she was measuring just over 6 weeks at the scan.

Hi, I was the exact same. Went for a private scan (Last period was 7 Jan), and should have been 7 weeks + 1 day but only gestational sac was showing. I’ve got my second scan at the NHS this Friday after which they’ll decide if this is a failed pregnancy or not. Fingers crossed there is a baby because I definitely feel like my symptoms have increased and I definitely feel “pregnant”. I do think my dates were wrong though as my periods fluctuate and I am normally not on a 4 week cycle, so I’ve got my hopes pinned on that. I’m preparing for the worst case scenario though.

Unfortunately that's because there's either something wrong, (or she didn't ovulate until much later).

But as she had a positive test on Feb 5th, her ovulation was probably around 20th - 24th Jan.

So the only other possibility is that the sonographer made a mistake.

So the only other possibility is that the sonographer made a mistake.....

....... which does happen sometimes.

Actually if she had a positive test on 5th feb then she can’t really be 6 weeks I don’t think. For there to be enough hcg in urine to get a positive pregnancy test you typically are about 2 weeks post ovulation, so you’re already 4 weeks pregnant by that point, hence why most early scans say to book in from 2 weeks after first positive test. With a positive test on 5th Feb your wife is correct in her dates, she would be 8 weeks+.

With a positive test on 5th Feb your wife is correct in her dates, she would be 8 weeks+

Exactly.