3rd degree tear and bowel issues

[Mumofonexo]

Hi, I’m nearly 7 months pp from a forceps delivery and 3b tear. My urgency is very sporadic some days but wind control seems to be getting better however, this week unfortunately I wasn’t quick enough getting to the toilet and some liquid stool come out. I haven’t had issues in months until now.

I’m just wondering if anyone else had a few issues in the first year and if thing slowly got better? 🥺

In my experience it does, takes lots of hard work, but it does improve very slowly. It's not always linear either, so don't be too hard on yourself when you have bad days. Pelvic floor exercises, pilates and a pelvic floor stimulation machine helped me. You have to strengthen your whole core, not just where you've have the tear. Have you seen a women's physio? Made a huge difference for me.

Following as I’ve just had my daughter & 3rd degree tearing last week 😭

Hi! Sorry to hear you’re having issues.
I had a 3rd degree tear and episiotomy 18 months ago. Struggled with recovery but I was sent for an endo anal scan where they checked the damage to my back passage muscles. Have you been offered this? I went to women’s health physio every few weeks for a year and now have no issues in that area (still have issues with vagina but that’s another story!).
I’ve had to put in a lot of work but it’s paying off. Best of luck with recovery x

@MrsTrue
It’s so frustrating isn’t it when you thought things were getting better. It’s like a set back. Do you remember roughly how long it took you to get better control?

I definitely need to work on my core strength I’m not very strong. I’ve been seen by physio and I was given some exercises to strengthen my core and legs.

@snoopy18
oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear that ☹️ have you been referred for physio yet? I hope you’re not in lots of pain 💗

@Mum3314
Im sorry to hear you experienced a bad tear too. Did you have problems with urgency and leaking?

I had to beg for one! But I should be having my scan in the next few months. I’m dreading it to be honest, not that it might hurt but if it’s bad news 😞

thank you so much. I’m glad it got better for you but I’m sorry to hear that you’re having other problems. It’s so tough being a woman isn’t it x

I’ve been told physio referral will be coming through so I’m looking forward to getting started with it once my body feels ready. I’m looking into women’s one specifically too in the case they can help with specifics aswell. I’m taking ibuprofen and paracetamol in rotation - can definately feel once they are worn off so making a note of time and trying to not slip up!

Going toilet so far has been ok so I’m hoping that’s a positive sign although I’m taking this liquid laxative 2 times a day. So will see how it goes once the 2 weeks is up on that 🙈

Trying to rest as much as possible and not lift / walk too much to hopefully help recovery in long term.

So sorry to hear about your tear. I had a 3b tear plus episiotomy from giving birth to my DD 2 years ago. I saw a specialist physio once every couple months from 3m PP, which really helped alongside trying to remember to do daily pelvic floor exercises. She also recommended foods to eat/avoid to keep stools as soft as possible. I struggled at points like you but was pleasantly surprised to see that everything looked great at my endo anal scan at 14 months PP.

Sounds a bit random but are you breastfeeding? I BF'd for a year and my estrogen levels were particularly low in that time. This will differ for every woman (none of my breastfeeding friends had this) but in my experience, it had a huge effect on my pelvic floor strength and on my vagina in general. I found sex painful and had a 'lump' sensation down below. I was actually diagnosed with vaginal atrophy by my physio and GP when I was about 8 m PP and was prescribed a HRT cream to use topically (admittedly, didn't end up using but heard good things). Interestingly, when I stopped BF'ing at a year, this all went away.

Good luck in your recovery ❤️

@snoopy18
Bless you, I remember the early days with the pain and not being able to walk but honestly it might not feel like it at the moment but you will be pain free soon. One thing I majorly regret is not snuggling my newborn enough because I was so depressed some days I couldn’t even hold him.

If you still feel sore down there keep up with the laxatives, I didn’t and magically regretted it.

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help with the healing. I wish you all the best with your recovery and hope your out of pain soon 💗

@PolkaDotDot
Thank you ☺️ I’m so pleased to hear that your scan was a good!

how long would you say it took you to gain full control over your bowels again?

I’m not breastfeeding no 😔 I couldn’t even hold my newborn because the birth was so traumatic. I just wish tears and the problems it can cause got talked about.

I did have vaginal atrophy after the birth it’s not nice is it.

thank you 💗

I had a bit of a "relapse" at about 8 months, when I thought things were going well and had eased off the pelvic floor exercises. I panicked and phoned the women's physio I was seeing, and she (very kindly) told me off for not doing the exercises 😅i haven't slacked since.

@MrsBigTed
I get what your saying, I had one night off then had my opps moment the next day 🥲

How far pp are you now? And does getting older worry you at all?

@Mumofonexo I had a 3b tear nearly 10 years ago with my son and ended up developing IBS. Unsure if it was related to tear or pregnancy, but I've had to learn to deal with the symptoms of IBS. I was alternating between Imodium and the low Fodmap diet to help control my symptoms but now I'm pregnant again I'm full low Fodmap until I have this baby. I totally sympathise! Medication helped me gain the confidence to leave the house etc when having issues. Now I can manage my symptoms with the low fodmap diet I am much more confident x

@Bonnybairn
Hi lovely I’m sorry to hear you had a bad tear too ☹️ I’ve spoken to others that’s said they’ve developed ibs after a tear, it must be linked somehow.

Have you noticed a difference when sticking to the diet? I had two spicy dinners then the accident so maybe it was that unfortunately 😔

congratulations on your pregnancy!

thank you, I’ve made sure I’ve always got Imodium to hand now and it worked really well when I had a problem a few months ago.

I just feel nervous if I haven't gone to the bathroom before leaving the house x

@Mumofonexo I remember still feeling anxious about returning to work at 9 months pp, and didn't leave in the morning if I didn't empty my bowels first. In hindsight, I think I was possibly more worried than I needed to be though, as I didn't have any real issues and gradually gained my confidence.

I really do wish it was talked about more and normalised. I didn't know anyone who'd been through it, and the fear of the unknown and what the future would look like was definitely worse than the reality in my case. But then I suppose the fear also gave me the motivation to get stronger!

Aww thank you so much! The diet has helped massively! I follow Monash's advice and downloaded the app coz NHS guidance on it is shocking. It's very hard to get your head around but once you do it the benefits are so worth it!

Please don't feel alone, coz I did for a long time, it's normal and it's happens to loads more than we think. Don't let it ruin your time with your little one. It's not okay to be shoved off by docs etc but worst case scenario, you have an accident... there's people out there doing worse things ;) xx

@MrsTrue
I can relate to that! Sometimes the fear of having an accident makes me run to the bathroom. I’ve tried gradually holding on as I can imagine that’s helping build strength. Some days I’ve got to a good 20/30 minutes!

I totally agree, no one talks about this side of childbirth and I really wish they would! I was given no information about my tear so googled everything and found things about women ending up in nappy’s ☹️ I’d get it more if I was 80 but who wants to be having bum issues in your 20s/30s

@Bonnybairn
Thank you, that’s something I need to look at! If it helps anything is worth trying. I think spicy food is off the menu for a few months annoyingly!

it is really lonely isn’t it. I don’t know anyone else that’s gone through it or openly talks about it. Honestly I bet it happens to way more people than you’d expect. That’s one bit of advice I wish I listened to when he was a newborn! I let it ruin our relationship and I deeply regret it. I’ve got my bum scan coming up soon too, I had to fight to get the appointment even though I said I’d had problems. lol true! Thankfully I’ve been at home when it’s happened and it’s not like all of it came out 🙈 I can’t believe I’m talking about this haha.

do you mind me asking if you are having issues with control now your pregnant? Xx

@Mumofonexo I let it take over so much of my life n I try to think I didn't let it ruin things but sometimes in hindsight it did.

I'm better now, I haven't had any medication since finding out I was pregnant but that's because i immediately switched to low fodmap. The first couple of weeks were a bit ropey but now I'm fine and it's not as urgent. My insides don't hurt as often... until I eat something I shouldn't n boy do I know about it! 🤣

Keep me updated with your scan tomorrow! I hope everything goes well and you get some answers xx

@Bonnybairn
It is so difficult though, especially because you don’t know if things will get better or not at the time and if you don’t know anyone else that’s gone through it you can’t ask for advice or anything. I hope you are gentle with yourself.

I did try to end my life because of the tear because I assumed I would be left pooping my pants. Better advice and help needs to be given to women who suffer a severe tear. It is not fair that we are just left to get on with it.

oh that’s brilliant that you’ve found a way of dealing with it! It’s life changing when you find something that helps. Oh bless you ibs does not sound fun!

did you also feel achey underneath for ages after birth?

thank you, my scans not due for another 2 months apologies if I said tomorrow 🙈 mum brain is real xx

@Mumofonexo I weirdly heard the opposite about holding it in, although I'm not convinced by the science! I think I saw one women's physio say online that you should hold your wee, but never delay a poo. I suffered with compaction for a while though, so maybe it was related to that. 20-30 mins is good going, so it's clearly working for you!

Hopefully threads like this help others too, Google really is unhelpful sometimes isn't it!!

Aw god love you. It doesn't feel so overwhelming but it should never be that bad. I was 21 when mine happened and I always had a very much pull my big girl knickers up and crack on and never really let too much get to me. Now however... very different person from 10 years ago and I believe I would be very much the same as you now. I remember recovery being fine of the actual tear and stitches coming out themselves, but being left with gut and toilet issues. My advice is, do not stop pushing with the GP. If you need the support. You need it and no medical degree can change how you feel unless you are supported ❤️

@MrsTrue
Really? Oh gosh you never know if you’re doing the right thing 🙈 I just assumed it would help the muscles to hold it in better.

ouch! I’ve had that happen twice, once before the tear and it’s not nice.

heres hoping it was a blip in my recovery 🤞

yes! The more we talk about things like this the better. Even if it helps just one person not feel so alone 🩷

@Mumofonexo I meant it does feel so overwhelming *

@Bonnybairn
so overwhelming and I don’t think people understand unless you’ve been through it. I’ve had some doctors dismiss the severity of what’s happened.

every part of the birth was traumatic and I got treated so badly by the hospital. Now that we are a few months down the line I’m coming to terms with everything more. I do still feel upset about what has happened sometimes though. But you can’t change what has happened I can only try to help myself with diet and exercise and hope everything gets better with some more time.

thank you 💗 all I can do is pray and hope everything turns out ok in the end xx