New mum in 40s

[Anne4678]

Hi, I found out for sure yesterday that I am pregnant after over a year of trying. I separated from my husband if 20 years, met a lovely man and we decided at then 45 to have a baby together. My partner had a reversal and after a year of trying it has finally happened. I am just wondering if there are any other older pregnant new mums like myself and how things are going in your journey. Do you have more scans and need any specific supplements in addition to folic acid? I will be seeing a midwife next week but I have so many questions buzzing around in my head.

@Anne4678 Hi Anne. Congratulations! I’m 39 (I’ll be 40 a month after I give birth) and first time mum. There’s a lot more tests and surveillance for us older mums. It’s quite comforting to be honest. I’ve been told to take 150g aspirin from 12 weeks (after dinner) to prevent pre eclampsia and I also take Pregnacare Max daily. Some women get nausea on them however Im ok with them. Good luck with your pregnancy!

Hi @Anne4678 firstly huge congratulations!! 🥳

I'm 44 and just over 14 weeks now. Similar history to you. We've had 3 years of trying and miscarriages but this little baby seems to want to stick around this time.

Like @AimeeLou84 I'm also on 150mg of aspirin and have been since 8 weeks. I'm also on the higher dose of folic acid 5mg and vitamin D 20mg daily both right through to the end. I'm consultant led (I'm not quite sure if I'm honest if it's due to my age, previous MC's or my bicornuate uterus) but he doesn't seem over concerned about anything at all. We had a chat last week and I'll see him again at the 20 week scan.

I'm on a due September board which has been invaluable for me, sharing the highs and lows and everything in between. DH and I haven't told anyone yet but I'm thinking maybe next weekend, hence the support from the ladies on the board and being able to speak about it on there has been incredible.

Thank you @AimeeLou84 and @MudandMoet. I still can’t believe it has actually happened, given the odds of it happening at 46.

I’m terrified something might go wrong and I want to do all i can for a healthy pregnancy. It’s incredibly reassuring reading your messages. I’m only 5 weeks and apparently I don’t see a midwife until 8 weeks so I felt a bit clueless about it all! I’m due November so I’ll have a look for a November board. Thanks so much for sharing your stories and your advice!! Massive congratulations to you both too. Isn’t it just amazing 🥰x

@Anne4678 ill be honest I’ve not really changed anything so far other than not drinking alcohol obviously. I don’t really exercise unless I’m walking somewhere and I eat what I want within reason as I’ve gone off some foods or forever got diarrhoea. I did have the flu jab asap though to make sure baby is ok

Oh my gosh I’ve been the same with the diarrhoea, I assumed it was linked to hormones in pregnancy but wasn’t sure. I keep getting a bit of sickness but nothing major, I’m expecting that getting worse in a week or so.
Thanks @AimeeLou84

Same here with not changing anything other than no alcohol...oh and a massive cut down on liquorice because it's not supposed to be great for pregnancy, however I've been the opposite with toilet issues to you both and more often than not bunged up!

My nausea came in around week 5 but I wasn't gagging or sick, it was just a strange feeling. It disappeared at week 9 but did come back at week 11 just a couple of times, gone again now. I found eating chips and salty foods helped, I hold my hands up and say good ol' MacDonald's was a great friend during this time. I can't tell you how many packs of salt and vinegar hula hoops I consumed in those weeks too! You just have to give your body what it wants I personally think.

It's the sleeping I've been struggling with. I'm constantly waking and not being able to get back off.

Also had the flu jab and will have the whooping cough one at 20 weeks too, will you be having that one @AimeeLou84 ?

Hi OP, congratulations!

I am 41 (42 when baby arrives) like pp, I take 150mg aspirin daily and Pregnacare Max (inc. VitaminD) I am consultant led and will not be allowed past 39 weeks. I am high risk and will have scans every 4 weeks from 20 weeks onwards.

I have an 11 year age gap between DD1 and this baby (am currently 19+3) as we had infertility issues. I had the flu jab before I got pregnant but have had the COVID booster and will ask about getting whooping cough at my 20 week appointment.

Congrats! I found it very reassuring being an older first time mum as I felt I had so many appointments and checks. They were very thorough.

I paid for several private scans due to worry. You can get one as early as 6 weeks but go to a medical provider rather than a 3D photography baby scan business.

I'd recommend a good quality omega 3 supplement as well as any pregnancy multivitamins.

Can I ask why some of you are taking aspirin and having extra checks like @AimeeLou84 said? I'm 38 and am having fewer checks than my first pregnancy because they said that's normal procedure. No one has mentioned any issues with my age. Should I be asking about aspirin for some reason?

@MudandMoet Oh i forgot I had whooping cough I think I had that at 16 weeks lol. I’m kind of wishing I was constipated again as travelling to work with diarrhoea is horrific I had to work from home today 🤦🏻‍♀️ also agree with eating what you can / what body wants

@Givemepickles Id ask at your next appointment about aspirin. They were a bit naughty with mine as she mentioned it in my first ever appointment then it wasn’t mentioned since and I obviously totally forgot as too much info to take on board. It’s only because I was looking through my green folder and saw a leaflet highlighting for me to take it. Definitely ask as a lot of women on here especially old are taking it

I am 40 and 24 weeks pregnant with my 1st Via IVF (after 12 years of trying!)
Consultant led but that just means an extra couple of appointments at the hospital and growth scans from 32 weeks. On aspirin and in my trust they don't let older women go too far over term due to potential issues with the placenta. Apart from that all has been normal I'm fairly fit and healthy though with quite low blood pressure (a good thing apparently) so there have been no concerns raised.

Age over 40 is usually considered a risk factor but not age 38 for most things, also first pregnancy is an additional risk factor plus BMI etc. I had my last child just before my 40th birthday and categorised as low risk for midwife only care, now over 40 under consultant led care, having growth scans etc

I had my one and only child when I was not much younger than you will be.

Due to my age I had loads of appointments but no issues whatsoever. It was all remarkably straightforward.

An elective C-section was a great choice and I’d advise anyone to do the same.

The whole pregnancy and birth were completely incident free. The only hassle we had was that it was during Covid so DH was excluded from appointments. We did some private scans to allow him to experience some of the journey a little better although all the key milestones such as finding out I was pregnant, the first scan of the heartbeat and finding out the sex of the baby were experienced alone which was a bit of a shame.

You won’t have those issues though so enjoy the journey. It’s great fun and being an older parent has so many advantages.

I might jump aboard! I’m 40 and will be 41 in May, 27 weeks pregnant with my first after 4.5 years of trying, infertility treatment and ivf. Due a few days after my birthday. This was embryo number 7, so I’m still in shock really. I’m not consultant led and don’t get extra scans but would if I didn’t live where I do, I think, or so I’ve been told. My area of London doesn’t offer anything extra for age and ivf alone, it seems. Currently pursuing the elective c section option, hoping to take some of the anxiety about what could happen out of it.

Up until Christmas it all went really slowly and I was very nervous, then since January time has been flying and there’s only 8 weeks until I’m on mat leave. Crazy.

Overall it’s not been too bad so far, no sickness or anything, but stuff has started to kick in the last couple of weeks. Plantar fasciitis and leg cramps in the night aren’t much fun!

I had my babies at 39 and 40. Apart from possible gestational diabetes (and normal stuff such as sickness and back pain) everything went well. I was induced both times, no birth complications. Healthy babies.

Amazing. Congrats

I'm an older mum. Was almost 44 when gave birth tho was ivf as ttc for 10yrs and not a sausage

Mini blondes is 7 next month and I'm almost 52

I was advised to take aspiring and had heparin injections daily till 6w after giving birth due to a blood clot I had 10yrs ago when preg

Was also consultant led as geriatric 🙂 but meant I wa seen every 3w which reassured me and lord of scans

How people go from a 12w to 30e and nothing else is beyond me

I’m 44 but only risk factor so saw consultant at 12 weeks but not again now till 32 weeks (have never heard the term geriatric used in relation to pregnancy in by any NHS staff, documentation or literature) they have a guideline for women over 40 as is a risk factor. Women over 45 will be considered at additional risk so can imagine possible even more appointments, also first pregnancies over 40 and combination of other risk factors will affect the care plan
Had 16 week appointment with midwife, 20 weeks scan then midwife again at 26 weeks

Thanks everyone. Reading your stories has given me reassurance. My doctor phoned yesterday congratulating me then went on to say I was ‘special’ given my age, which worried me a little. I am thinking of going private for a 6 week scan, for that additional reassurance. I’m so excited and can’t wait to get to the point where I feel I can buy baby bits n bobs 🥰

My notes had geriatric over them

Didn't offend

Think they say that over 37?

And I was 43

Just meant I got more time with consultant /scans

And as I was termed 40/40

They didn't want me to go over 40e as over 40 and ivf

Thank you for sharing your experience @Charlie2121 can I ask exactly what recovery is like from a C section? My husband will be in the middle of harvest when I'm due and unlikely to be able to take any time off (if we ever get any decent weather) I also don't have family nearby for help though we have mentioned a nanny (I'm reluctant if I'm honest for a few reasons) basically I think what I'm asking is, could you manage recovery at home alone if that's the case, how long is the pain bad for etc? It worries me if I end up having an unplanned one for whatever reason.

@Hibernating80 another great story, did they induce you early or was it due to you going over your due date?

I've had my blood screening results today and everything is low risk which is a relief. We've a NIPT booked for Monday anyway and are still going ahead with it as it'll give extra reassurance and also tell us the sex.

@MudandMoet I didn’t find the recovery too bad at all.

I also had no wider family support although my DH was off work for a couple of weeks so he did any heavy lifting but other than that I carried on as normal. Picking up my baby and doing normal activities around the house were no problem. I think I took my baby to the supermarket when he was 3 days old so I must have been feeling fine.

I was given some painkillers but only for a few days. My main concern was not letting the wound get infected which thankfully never happened. It healed very well and is a lot more discrete than I anticipated.

So if my experience is typical you’ll be fine. Just leave any really heavy lifting for your husband when he gets home!

Get used to being called geriatric. It's not too bad. Risks higher but take it easy and enjoy it.

Thank you @Tianrose that's good to know. Sounds like my care is all as it should be then.

@MudandMoet I went past my due date. Both babies were very happy snuggled up.