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D&C in an hour, absolutely terrified & devastated. Any words of encouragement please x

29 replies

aimeeeleanor · 13/02/2024 07:06

I am in for a D&C in less than an hour to remove my twins. I am absolutely beside myself. Scared, devastated, it just feels so unnatural. God how my heart breaks for every single woman who has had to endure this pain. It is truly shattering

Any words of encouragement or advice please? I can’t stop shaking. I just want my babies

OP posts:
MiltonNorthern · 13/02/2024 07:08

I have no words that will help but I know precisely how you feel. The pain will go in time. 🌺

Sweetpea1532 · 13/02/2024 07:12

Bless you, OP. Im so sorry for your loss. I don't have any words that can take your pain away, but just wanted you to know there is someone on the west coast of the US thinking of you.

Wictc · 13/02/2024 07:14

I’m so sorry. I have had three of these. It’s so much better after, there is no pain and I found the bleeding minimal. I had a day on the sofa to recover and watched films with my husband over a glass of wine and bread and cheese. We had a hug and a little cry. Sorry you are going through this, it’s rubbish, but I found the D&C painless and actually welcomed being put to sleep for a bit so I didn’t have to think about anything for a while!

UrsulaSings123 · 13/02/2024 07:15

Sending you so much love and strength xxx

Insidenumber09 · 13/02/2024 07:18

My thoughts are with you. I’ve had 4 natural losses and they were painful and heartbreaking too. Massive hand-hold to you and you take care of yourself. I wish there was something I could do or say but there isn’t. Sending strength and love xxx

ColleenDonaghy · 13/02/2024 07:18

Best of luck. I had one and was very surprised at how easy the physical side of it was, and the hospital staff took such good care of me. You'll be ok Flowers

Monkeyfloor · 13/02/2024 07:21

i don’t know what to say.
I am so sorry for this huge loss.

I was devastated when it happened to me / I didn’t have twins. I remember a nurse holding my hand. I couldn’t stop crying and in a very British way I found myself apologising for crying and shaking. I remember her telling me that it was devastating and that she was so sorry I was going through it.
something about that validation and empthay really helped me. I actually fell to sleep under general feeling more peaceful.
not peaceful perhaps but more a surrendering and acceptance that I was in deep grief (and had a right to be) and that it would take time.

i hope someone is with you who can provide a bit of comfort.

im sorry if I haven’t said anything helpful. But please know I will be thinking of you all nmorninng and be closing my eyes this evening and sending all my positive thoughts your way.

Sweetpea1532 · 13/02/2024 07:21

Mine was 31 years ago. I still think about that day and the devastation and sorrow I felt. I don't think it's something that you can get over, but you will get through it. Your twins are your babies and they will always be in your heart.

CMG92 · 13/02/2024 07:43

thinking of you op, had 2 miscarriages last year, 1 was a D&C and tbh the best way to deal with a miscarriage. A PP said it’s painless and you make a good recovery. Look after yourself mentally it’s tough but you do get there. ❤️

fourelementary · 13/02/2024 07:47

So sorry for your loss. I’m sorry there isn’t anything I can say to take away your pain. Like someone else said, you will always carry your twins in your heart ❤️ ❤️
Take care of yourself following this, maybe think of some treats and comfort foods/film etc just now to help pass the time.

shearwater2 · 13/02/2024 08:51

I'm so sorry, OP. I hope they take good care of you and that it's all as straightforward as possible.

toomanyleggings · 13/02/2024 08:52

I had one for a mmc at nearly 12 weeks. It was a very straightforward process, no bleeding or pain afterwards. The emotional side is tough so take it very easy

toomanyleggings · 13/02/2024 08:53

Sorry should say no pain and very minimal bleeding

AimeeLou84 · 13/02/2024 08:54

Sending you love ❤️

DaBlackCatsAreDaBestCats · 13/02/2024 08:56


Mummyofatinyterror · 13/02/2024 09:00

There is nothing I can say to make this any easier for you!
I am so so sorry for your loss.
I also had a D&C in April last year and I was absolutely heartbroken.
Just know, your feelings (all of them) are valid.
Take your time to rest up, watch rubbish TV and allow yourself to grieve!
Thinking of you!

Ceebeebee87 · 13/02/2024 09:37

Sending you lots of love and strength. Last year I had one and was at rock bottom. All I can say is things get better in time, a year on and I’m in a much better place. It’s such a difficult thing to go through so be kind to yourself ❤️

Frenchmartini02 · 13/02/2024 10:42

Thinking of you and sending lots of love. I've had a D&C after TFMR, I found the waiting around really agonising and it was utterly heart breaking, but D&C was the best way to do it in the sense that physically I didn't feel pain. I just wanted to get home afterwards. The mental recovery takes a bit longer, and you will be forever changed, but you will be OK, and with time everything will feel easier. So sorry you have to go through this, be kind to yourself and take time to rest and heal.

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 13/02/2024 10:48

toomanyleggings · 13/02/2024 08:52

I had one for a mmc at nearly 12 weeks. It was a very straightforward process, no bleeding or pain afterwards. The emotional side is tough so take it very easy

Almost exactly same experience - the procedure and staff were straightforward and wonderful. The emotional side awful but of course it is, they are your babies. Wishing you all the best with physical and emotional recovery ❤️

asdf33 · 13/02/2024 10:48

You will be okay, it takes time but you will be fine again. Doesn’t feel like it straight away.
I had some pain afterwards but not only for a couple of days, I also bled for 10 days afterwards, which I was told is normal.

Tearsofamermaid · 13/02/2024 11:21

Sending you tons of love and strength. I had one a few years ago and I won’t lie, it was the most devastating thing I had ever gone through. I cried my eyes out to the doctors just before I was put to sleep, as I knew my baby would no longer be with/part of me when I woke up. Having said that, the anaesthesia made me feel cheerful (!) when I came out of it and I was able to laugh and chat with the nurse and my husband. The devastation returned once the effect of the anaesthetic wore off but I tried to be kind to myself and family and friends were very good at letting me talk about the baby I had lost and not trying to pretend it hadn’t happened. This may not be for everyone but I did also give my baby a name to help process the fact that he had existed, even in my tummy, and I wrote a poem in the depths of my grief which I keep with my original scan photo.

Sweetpea1532 · 13/02/2024 18:56

@aimeeeleanor hope things went well with the D & C.
Rest easy for a bit and be kind to yourself. I found that it was difficult for those around me to understand what I'd been through unless they'd been through it themselves. Since I wasn't showing much as I was 16 weeks along, my outward appearance didn't look any different to them.I looked like my same old self to them, but I was no longer that woman. I was a mother who was deeply grieving, and my body knew I'd been pregnant so I also had to physically go through the end stages of the pregnancy. I had lochia for several days which tapered off over the week. Also other hormonal changes throughout.
I had several unkind comments from people eventhough they'd been told..." Omg, you look terrible..and so tired". 😳
I pray you experience what some pp have experienced, but I wanted you to know that it could be completely different also. And this is also normal. Every woman has her own experience and it's normal to her. Embrace your own Flowers

My baby's called Michael.

If you feel up to it and want to share about your babies, we're here to listen.

tempnameforadvice · 13/02/2024 18:59

@aimeeeleanor I'm so sorry. I have had 2 and they were both just shit.

All I can say is please let yourself rest when you're home. Takeaways, trashy magazines and hopefully a good chunk of time off of work:

I'm so sorry. Sending love and light and hopes for better times to come. Flowers

SirChenjins · 13/02/2024 19:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP, there are no words that can help take away the pain, I really wish there were. My thoughts are with you tonight.

Trusttheprocess1 · 13/02/2024 19:21

I had one with my first miscarriage after many hours of agony with my cervix clamped shut. When I came round the male nurse was so caring and kind, unlike the hideous staff who wheeled me to surgery and told me I was having an abortion. Sending you all the strength you will need to get through the days ahead 💐

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