Missed Miscarriage: Waiting or Surgical?

[MrsBlue1986]

Just found out I've had a missed miscarriage on Monday. The HB stopped.

I've had 10 miscarriages before.
Only 1 previously where we have seen a heartbeat and it stopped. I took the medical route and it was absolutely awful. I was in agony.

Has anyone had experience of a missed miscarriage snd it has naturally gone on its own?

The hospital only want me to wait 2 weeks before they intervene. Unless it goes naturally I'm opting for the surgical route.

Any input please? Z
X

I had a MMC last January, found out at 13+2 but baby had died at 10+6. My body started to naturally miscarry at 14 weeks but I still needed the meds to help complete the miscarriage. I didn't find it too painful, like very early stages of labour/ bad period pains but definitely mentally horrifying to see it all happen x

What an awful thing to be dealing with op... I passed an ntact foetus after no hb at 8 weeks.. Scanned the Tuesday and mc on the Thursday lunchtime..
Never occurred to me to seek medical assistance tbh... Not sure if it was because I have had dc already but I had actual labour pains first and the urge to push...
Many years ago I mc and needed a d&c. Was an awful experience..
I know things are different now and we are better supported....

And I'm so sorry for your losses x

@Windydaysandwetnights thanks for your reply. What was your experience with d&c? Was it under local or general? From what I've read I think I'd want local. General freaks me the hell out!

I'm hoping so much it'll go on its own naturally. But it never did last time and knowing my sh1t luck it won't go this time!

Hi op.
I agree with you, the medical management route is torture and painful.
I did wait for “nature to take its course” in one of mine (I’ve had 7). I knew at 7 weeks but nothing happened until 13 weeks. Was very distressing and I didn’t dare venture far from my home and toilet.

Surgical management is quick, pretty clean and painless I believe. Over quickly.

I didn’t wait for any of my others as it really was traumatic.

All the best with whatever decision you make.

I'm really sorry to hear this. I had MMC and tried waiting, but I found the waiting awful. In the end I had D&C which I found fine. I realise everyone's experience is different though.

@MrsNandortheRelentless oh gosh, I'm so sorry for your losses too! Wow, I'm surprised your hospital let you wait from 7-13 weeks for it to pass naturally. My hospital said they won't let me wait more than 2 weeks!!!

I assume v painful expectant management ? I'm assuming it's not as bad as medical though !?

@tunainatin thank you! Can I ask did you go under General or local anesthetic??

Surgical under general here. MMC at 13 weeks, foetus was 11 weeks. Surgery was painless, smooth, overall the best of an awful situation.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I have had 3 natural miscarriages and one missed miscarriage resulting in an mva (surgical). From my experience the mva was preferable and more controlled, less painful and less bleeding in the weeks afterwards. It had a local anaesthetic and I was out the same day.

happy to answer any questions you have.

xx

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I had a MMC with twins a few years ago. We found out at 12 weeks and I was booked in for surgical option but nature took its course in the meantime. I bled very heavily and passed huge clots but it was not at all painful - no more than mild period pains. Whatever happens next, allow yourself lots of time to heal, physically and mentally. I threw myself into work as a distraction and wish I hadn’t. Sending strength and hope to you.

Couldn’t just scroll on. I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself

@MrsBlue1986 sorry to hear what you're going through.

I've had 2 mmc and 2 surgical procedures

First one I had to wait 3 weeks for and I was too scared to leave the house as I'd read peoples experiences of mc and how it can start so quick and messy- psychologically this really affected me as I'm usually off out busy when not out at work. About 3 days before the appointment I had a night and day of agony. Contractions and stomach pain that naproxen didn't even ease. Worst pain I've ever felt.
The procedure was ok tbh- well ok as it could be. I had gas and air which helped loads and a woman Dr doing the procedure. After I didn't need more than paracetamol for a day or 2 and didn't bleed much. The nurses were so lovely before and after and really understanding.

Second mmc I opted for a surgical again as the previous experience was crap but ok if you know what I mean.
It was awful. It was a male Dr doing it who was much more rough (but wasn't meaning to be). Thankfully the gas and air worked amazing. The nurses were lovely but didn't seem as organised and used to their role as the first time nurses.
Afterwards there wasn't much bleeding but more pain than the first time but nowhere near as bad as period pain.

Completely different experiences.
But, if I had a mmc again I'd choose the surgical option.

Good luck x

My wait from 7-13 weeks was due to blighted ovum, so no actual baby but an empty sac which just progresses, full pregnancy symptoms, bit of a bump as the sac keeps growing until the body realises then it all stops and then the miscarriage happens.
So no “dead tissue” if you will. (Sorry, awful choice of words).
It was my first miscarriage and felt that I needed to let it happen.
Excruciatingly painful, labour pains, torrential blood loss.

I was of course… told to take paracetamol because it will be “just like period pains”…… it ABSOLUTELY was not.

@Gymbelle thank you for that! I have read so many horror stories about the surgical route under local anesthetic, saying it's so painful etc that its freaking me out.

How long were you in the hospital for from start to finish ?

How long was the procedure ?

Did you honestly feel anything??

The fact they're only giving me 2 weeks to wait, I feel I may have to go down this route 😞

I kept busy... Vacuuming started me off I am certain... D&c was under GA but was many years ago. When post infection was the norm... I felt very calm and passed it alone. Had chance to say goodbye. Was right for me. Might not be for everyone..

I'm so sorry you're all going through this.

I had an ERPC the same day I started to bleed at 10 weeks. GA. All easy (apart from the GP receptionist who said I was hardly pregnant at 10w and XH saying I hadn't lost a baby, it was just a bundle of cells) but I was on an antenatal ward, and hearing the newborns compounded my loss.

That was 28yrs ago and I still remember every moment.

Sending you all lots of love and hugs, keep being strong. You're not alone and your babies will always be remembered and loved.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and for yours and everyone else’s losses. It’s so tough.

I had an MMC in February. Scan showed a gestational age that wasn’t in line with what i thought the dates were. We were told to wait two weeks to check the baby wasn’t growing, and then were given our options.

for me personally, I struggle with anxiety and felt the unknown of waiting for things to progress naturally would have done more harm to my fragile mental state at the time. Medical management seemed as though it wasn’t always successful and you might end up having more intervention, so I chose the certainty of a D&C and then waited another week for my surgery slot. Also honestly, I was scared of the potential pain and blood and dealing with that by myself to a certain extent.

For me, it was in and out in a day, went under GA for twenty mins, but no complications afterwards and felt like I could draw a line under it. However surgery doesn’t bother me and I’ve been under GA before, so it wasn’t my first experience. The nursing team were lovely, I had a cry as I went into the theatre and the anaesthetist held my hand.

as everyone said, do what works for you. I had one doctor who seemed determined to take me down the management route, but I stuck firm and I’m glad I did.

thinking of you, and take care of yourself, not just physically but mentally.

xx

I'm so sorry for your losses. I've had 2 MMCs and 2 lots of surgical management. Quick, easy, and allowed me to then get on with the grieving which would have been delayed by waiting (felt like that for me anyway). I was on a general surgery ward for the second one, and was treated so so kindly by the staff. They knew what I was there for and took extra time to look after me emotionally not just physically. First time I actually had private healthcare through work so was in a private room in a private hospital and again all the staff were incredibly caring.

Procedure is super quick - I arrived at hospital around 7:30am, surgery under general anaesthetic around 10:30am, home by 4pm. No pain afterwards, minimal bleeding for a week or so.

I had surgical management under GA for my miscarriage a few months ago - I could have had an MVA but would have had to wait several days for an appointment so opted for GA as they could do it the next day. It was a long day and distressing for obvious reasons, but the procedure itself was quick, obviously I didn't know anything of what was going on until I woke up, and I had minimal pain/bleeding afterwards. I hope I don't have to experience it again, but if I did I would opt for the same treatment again.

I had a mmc earlier this year. I opted for surgery however during the 5 day wait for the op I miscarried naturally. It was grim, pretty heavy bleeding. Passed a few big lumps of tissue which was unpleasant. Pain-wise I think I was quite lucky- bad period pain level, managed with painkillers and a hot water bottle. Afterwards I was pleased to have avoided a GA and surgical procedure, even though it was grim.

I didn't go for conservative treatment from the off as I didn't want the uncertainty of not knowing how long and when it would happen. If I had another mmc I would opt for conservative again. Crappy decision to have to make though. Sorry you are going through this.

sorry for your loss, it seems like the body just doesn't really recognise MMC so it can be a long slow process and anecdotally rarely works naturally. The surgical route (ERPC) makes sure everything is removed and doesn't leave you with weeks of bleeding that the natural/tablet route can.

Thank you all for your replies.

A question for those who have had the surgical route..

Did they give you the same mistroprosal tablet before the surgery (the same one that they give you for medical management?)..

My biggest fear is I had such a reaction to the tablet with medical management thst I was in excruciating pain, throwing up and my husband had to call for an ambulance because of such bad side effects at one point as I nearly passed out.

Thsts my panic... the same tablet used to open the cervix...

I began to bleed and at first they told me everything looked ok and to come back in three days for another scan for reassurance, unfortunately it was a loss. They gave me the choice of waiting a few days to see would everything pass naturally and beyond that they would step in or I could act straight away. I said I would come home as I had other toddlers that needed me. Things happened naturally at home. Pain for me was moderate but passing the tissue was very upsetting. It was kind of like giving birth but not as painful as I hadn’t had medication and also the fetus was a lot smaller than a grown baby as such. I hope to never ever go through it again. The bleeding lasted weeks and was quite heavy. I took the week off work but with hindsight that was far too short and I needed at least a month to gather myself. Even changing my pads had me in tears in the work toilets. I had to get some scans done and bloods ect in the days after but beyond that it was just wait until the bleeding stopped and they told me I could try again then after a normal period but we waited a bit longer. My best friend had to take the tablets, and she said she found it very painful and would rather a d and c the next time. So sorry for your loss, mentally it is such a painful thing. Mine was over a year ago now, and we since have been lucky enough to have a new baby but I still truly mourn the one we lost and wish we could have both safe here.

I've done surgical management under GA a few times op . I don't regret it, it was done and over there and then, I would have struggled with the waiting. I can't remember the medication to soften cervix, but I know it was only administered a short time in advance, maybe 30 mins before surgery(?) and it was painless, but you could find out the process first.